I've finally gotten around to shopping for a double bass, but now, after I get one, how am I supposed to learn how to play the darn thing? There are absolutely no double bass teachers within a 3 or 4 hour drive, much less an hour drive! I think my next step would be to go to the closest college/university (1 hour - 2 hours away) and ask around in their music department and see where that gets me. Any other ideas? Argggh. . .

You could get a good book, like Rufus Reid's "The Evolving Bassist" - this has some good stuff on how to get started and goes on to more advanced material as well - the Millenium Edition has just been updated.

I've already started on the book route. :)
I'd much rather have a teacher as well though. No piece of paper will replace having a teacher crack the whip over ya.