Top Country Songs of 2004

15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby...... But My Aim's Gettin' Better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By now
6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
And, the Number one Favorite Country Song of 2004 Is:
1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few

I Cain't Get Over You, So You'll Have to Answer the Phone
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalpost of Life

Get off the stove--you're too old to ride the range.

Not a title, but one of my fav-o-right country lyrics of all time is from Hank's "Dear John" (with the band doing the bracketed line gangland style):

That's all she wrote
(Dear John)
They sent your saddle home

Along with "Drop Kick", don't forget Kinky's other classic:

They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore

Lyrics? Here's a couple from fellow Maui boy Kris Kristofferson; variations on a theme.

I woke up next morning feelin' like my head was gone
And like my thick old tongue was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong


That's pretty good; I like this one even better;

Well I woke up Sunday mornin' with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert


Something tells me Kris ain't making this s**t up.

Some of my favorites:

"You got knocked up, and I got locked up..you could say we both got screwed"

"If bruises show your love, then your love sure shows up on me"

"I'm my own Grandpa"

...and finally, one I'm in the process of writing:

"I Can't Yodel If It's Modal" (wonder if the bluegrassers will get it?) :)

"How Can I Respect You in the Morning When I Don't Respect You Now?"

You Broke My Heart So, I Broke Your Jaw

You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking

. . . Well I woke up Sunday mornin' with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert


Something tells me Kris ain't making this s**t up.

I think you are right. I absolutely admire his lyrics. The complete song that you quoted is an all-time fav. For those less "refined" here the whole thing:

Well I woke up Sunday morning
with no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt
and the beer I had for breakfast
wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert

Then I fumble through my closet for
my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt
and I shaved my face and combed my hair
and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I'd smoked my brain the night before
and cigarettes and songs that I've been pickin'
but I lit my first and watched a small kid
cussin' at a can that he was kicking

Then I crossed the empty street and caught
the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
and it took me back to somethin' that
I'd lost somehow somewhere along away

On a Sunday mornin' sidewalks
wishing Lord that I was stoned
'cause there is something in a Sunday
that makes a body feel alone

And there's nothin' short of dyin'
half as lonesome as the sound
on the sleepin' city side walks
Sunday mornin' comin' down

In the park I saw a daddy with
a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
and I stopped beside a Sunday school
and listened to the song that they were singin'

Then I headed back for home and
somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
and it echoed though the canyon like
the disappearing dreams of yesterday.

- Kris Kristofferson

I see him every now and then, he lives in Hana, further up the windward coast from my place. I look at that face and think, catcher's mitt. :smug: Great songwriter.

I look at that face and think, catcher's mitt.

...you wanna throw your best fastball at his schnoz? :confused:

...you wanna throw your best fastball at his schnoz? :confused:

Damon....you're such a Romantic.

I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed while I Cry Over You.
Homer and Jethro.

...you wanna throw your best fastball at his schnoz? :confused:

Nope; he just looks kind of....weathered...broken in...like a... oh, never mind.

Its hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your a$$ out all day long... :spit:

Now it takes me all night to do what I use to do all night long... :eek:

...well my bucket's got a hole in it,
I can't buy no beer...

"I've got three mouths to feed, and yers is gettin bigger all the time." :bawl:

I want to
ride in
The car that Hank
died in

and:

put your sweet lips
a little closer,
to the phone

or:

I'll never get outta' this world alive


on to:

Bob Wills w/ The Texas Playboys put out alot of pretty funky stuff.
:rollno: :cool: :)

Oh yeah, Jim Reeves! I forgot about that one.
I like that old school country music.

Some favourite titles:

"Makin' love to you is just like eating peanuts (once I get started I can't seem to stop)" (?)

"You've already put big old tears in my eyes - Must you throw dirt in my face" (Louvin Brothers)

And two from the British country spoof merchant Hank Wangford:

"Never wear mascara when you love a married man"

"If you ain't married sunny-side-up, try divorce-over-easy"

"She's hard on the heart, but easy on the eyes" Del McCoury

"I can't drink you pretty"

"Good hearted woman in love with a good time man"

I'd have to say though that my favorite country song of all time is "Gentle on My Mind"

I love "Gentle on my Mind". Great John Hartford tune, and he plays 5-string banjo, and some basses have 5 strings, right?

Favorite country songs:

I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
He Stopped Loving Her Today
El Paso
Witchita Lineman (I guess it's country, since Glen Campbell recorded it)

and of course:

Chinga Chavin's "******* from El Paso"

and that all-time great tear-jerker,

"Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, I'm a-Kissin' You Goodbye"

How can I miss you if you won't go away.

I just heard a song with:

don't go near the tar shack 'cause daddy's got a gun and he's drinkin'

or sumthin' like that...

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

One of John Hartford's early albums, entitled 'Morning Bugle', had Dave Holland playing bass.

'What's the point in getting sober when you have to get drunk again...'

'red neck, white socks, and blue ribbon beer'
'my long hair doesn't cover up my red neck'

One from a guitarist friend of mine - "Help Me Break It Through Your Tights"

One from a guitarist friend of mine - "Help Me Break It Through Your Tights"
:D

"She Don't Have To Make Me Coffee As Long As She Makes Me Cream".


:crying:

"She Don't Have To Make Me Coffee As Long As She Makes Me Cream".


:crying:
:hiding: christ!

Maybe he's talking about a nice old bass, Paul.

Maybe he's talking about a nice old bass, Paul.

Oh....OK. :cool:

yeah....yeah...that's it....a nice old bass....yeah.. :D

yeah....yeah...that's it....a nice old bass....yeah.. :D


OK.....

Here y'go...roll yer own.
http://www.netspace.org/~jude/country.html

That's a keeper Marcus!!

I kissed her on the lips, and left her behind for you.

Deliverance, Part II.

Pure Country....none of that sissy Western stuff.

George Strait....Ellen's not

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her.....or something like that.

If we are what we eat, Im cheap, fast, and easy.

So many recipes, so few possums.....


My IQ test came up negative.


Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

As a redneck who lives in the deep south, I'm fixin' to learn ya with some of the more common musical terms we use down here. ;)

A440 - The Highway that runs around Nashville
Arpeggio - That storybook kid who's nose grew every time he told a lie.
Bassoon - Typical response when asked what you hope to catch and when.
Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.
Bossa Nova - The car your foreman drives.
Cadenza - That ugly thing that your wife vacuums dog hair off of before company arrives.
Cello - The proper way to answer the phone.
Clarinet - The name used for your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo.
Conductor - The man who punches your ticket on the train to Birmingham.
Cut time - Parole
Cymbal - What they use on Deer Crossing signs so you know when to get out your rifle.
Diminished 5th - An empty bottle of Jack Daniels
Perfect 5th - A full bottle of Jack Daniels
Melodic Minor - Loretta Lynns' singing father
Minor 3rd - Your age and grade when you've finished school.
Order of Sharps - What a metrosexual asks for at a bar.
Passing Tone - The sound heard near the baked beans at a family reunion.
Relative Major - Your uncle in the Marine Corps
Relative Minor - Your fiancee
Tempo - Type of car found rusting in your backyard
Time Signature - What you need from your boss if you forget to clock in
Transpositions - Men who wear dresses.
Treble - Women taint nothin' but

:D