(Okay... I won't make a post this long again. :D )

These are quotes from students in a college jazz history class.
They are extracted from the essay topic, "What I learned over this semester in jazz history." These are all genuine responses, completely unaltered. They are all 18+ year old students; not high school or middle school age kids. None of them are music students; they all took this class as a gen. ed. credit and a hopeful "easy A".


"Free Jazz is an era that I wished I had never learned about."
"Free Jazz. Wow; what a sound it makes. An awful, horrible sound. I don't see how that can actually be called a sound. My 5 year old nephew could pound on the piano and make the same sound! He may even make a better sound. To be honest, that sound is one big mess."
"With swing, it's kind of up in the air for me. I must say I
tried like hell to keep up with it."
"My favorite jazz has a bluesy, Mexican feel to it."
"Though Jazz started in New Orleans, it traveled all around the
world picking up and dropping off things along the way."
"One thing that confused me was Jelly Roll Morton. Did he play
with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I didn't think that they were around back then."
"Jelly Roll (Morton) bridged the gap between piano and
ragtime."
"My grandpa likes it, but I think scat stinks."
"Chick Corea, Dizzie Gillespie, Bix Biderbeck, and the monk
created the first cool group."
"I wished Don Cherry would put his trumpet back in his pocket."
"There is not enough space in my head to fit all that I learned."
"This class taught me about a lot of things that I never knew
about."
"Some of the big jazz musicians we learned about were: Lous
Armstrong, Duke, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Cillespic, T. Mark, Ken Barns, Buddy Baldwin, Jellyroll Mortin, Sydney Bichai, Fats Waller, Earl Hines, and many many more."
"Coming into class on the first day, I assumed there would be a boring professor standing in front of the class droning on and on about jazz. "Here's where it started; this is who played it; and here we are today; blah, blah, blah." I now realize that my assumption wasn't all that wrong."
"I assumed that jazz had started in the African-American
community only because it fulfilled a multi-cultural course that I was required to take."
"Jim Crow, in a way, was the first jazz musician."
"Jazz was put into effect by Jim Crow's Law."
"I really enjoyed hearing the big band, "Frank Foster's
Arrangement"".
"I learned in this class that, contrary to my mom's opinion,
Kenny G is a joke. A really non-funny one."
"I fell in love with that tune, "Stablemates". It really hits
home."
"Jazz musicians don't play for women any more."
"I learned that going to jazz concerts gets me in good with the girlfriend."
"I learned a lot about Be Bop, Swing, Drugs, and Fusion."
"I found new respect for Miles Davis. He was adamant about not using drugs when everyone else was trying to get him to try some."
"I liked hearing the Original Dixieland (Jazz) Band, and how they were the original Dixieland band."
"You might want to mention to future classes that jazz brings
true romance to a scene."
"I'm glad I took this class, because I feel more comfortable to
talk about jazz in its awesomeness."
"Drugs caused many artists their careers in many ways."
"Jazz is a style of music that is almost very sober."
"I figured jazz started in the 1960s, but to my surprise, it
started back in the late 18th century."
"Smooth jazz now just plain old angers me."
"A lot of the things that I learned were facts that I never new
about, not only in jazz, but in life as well."
"I got really excited by the tenor sax, soprano sax, baritone sax, but not so much the alto sax."
"I can't believe that blacks had time to invent jazz if they
were hanging out in the whorehouses with Jelly Roll Morton."
"A lot of black jazz musicians were very talented, which probably came from them not having anything else to do."
"When blacks and whites finally decided to get together to make jazz, it was a big hit."
"Lennie Tristano and Lee Konitz were two guys who would sit down and enjoy cool jazz."
"Going to the club gave me jazz sensations."
"I hear the hard-bop jazz influence on bands today such as
Matchbox Twenty and Dave Matthews Band"
"I'm now going to start this essay on jazz."
"James Crow worked to bring the slaves together with the
creoles."
"Learning jazz has helped me beat my mom at Jeopardy. She had no idea who a blind pianist from Toledo, OH was for $800.
"I learned the definition of supreme technical virtuosity is to
play like Louie Armstrong."
"Charlie Parker was a famous jazz musician who played
saxophonists."
"Getting 81% (on a test) is all well and good until you see that dumb guy next to you who picks his nose getting 91%. I then started studying and coming to class."
"I asked the drummer what the names of the names and styles of the tunes that he played but he didn't seem to know."
"TV has become more jazzy to me now."
"Studying jazz has been a coming out party for me."
"I loved the vibrational solos of Clifford Brown."
"When I think of tradition and instruments, I think of Fiddler of
the Roof."
"I learned a lot from the different guest speakers in class,
whether they were an experienced piano player, a director of music at a major motel, or a guitar player with an oddly placed hankercheif in his pocket."
"Jazz has the technique of classical music, the feeling of blues, and the hope of children everywhere."
"I know what troubles musicians now when I watch and listen to them play."
"My ties to jazz were through Bleeding Gums Murphy, a character on a TV show called the Simpsons. It comes on at 8pm on Sunday nights."
"I was surprised to find out about the different styles of jazz
like hard, be, and post bops."
"I thought that jazz was a certain amount of instruments that you played and was composed for you(,) not believing that it was their improvisation and the jazz musicians who made up the music on the spot doing what they wanted to do with the tunes. I know this is hard to explain but it is true."
"When I try to play jazz, I mess around with the instruments
pounding out random notes that were just me making nonsense up and it sounding like a big pile of crap."
"Jazz is more profound when it doesn't help pay the bills."
"The first thing I learned in jazz history that happy birthday is
the most played jazz classic. You want to hear happy birthday in swing BAM! You got it. You want to hear happy birthday in classic jazz BAM!
You got it. You want to hear happy birthday in be bop BAM! You got it. It's great. The second thing I learned is free jazz is where its at. I think that I could be a free jazz musician cause it all sounds like a drunk 7 year old jamming down on some notes and making the sweet sweet music fly. Free jazz was defiantly the best part of the class but unfortunately you didn't play free jazz enough. My one suggestion
for your next class is that you start out every class with a 5 minute free jazz intro. Over all and all, I defiantly learned a lot in jazz history class."
"Hip hop and pop are fine, going out for fame and bling bling.
Jazz has been around for a while, is out of style, but can really sing."
"Jazz musicians sing and play music because they can't contain their passions. Their music starts in the soul radiates out in every direction."
"Jazz is a very dynamic kind of music. Loud and Soft."
"Swing makes you want to get up and dance and free jazz just makes you want to get up."
"If any kind of music can calm a hectic day, its cool jazz. If
you feel like going out and dancing, however there is ragtime."
"In conclusion, jazz is music."
"Jazz has come from the fields of New Orleans to my 2pm class, and beyond."
"Unlike other forms of music, jazz is listened to by old people
as well as us."
"I learned what intros and outros were in this class. Now I look
for them when I go searching for good music."
"I went to do my (jazz) listening report at the house of
blues."
"Jazz has taught me a lot about the Civil War, World War I, and World War II."
"I thought of jazz as a thing of the past, something old African
American men listened to on old record players while sitting on their front porches smoking cigars."
"Steve Turre has taught me that sea shells should be left on the ground instead of his mouth."
"Over the course of the semester my knowledge of jazz has gone from nothing to practically nothing."
"Even though I probably won't listen to jazz after this
semester, it has given me a greater appreciation of movies."
"My favorite person to study was Sonny Rollins. He knew that he had to throw his saxaphone off the bridge when he heard how good Charlie Parker was."
"Jazz to me was the "shoo opps" from groups in streets
downtown in the olden, golden days."
"Happy birthday. That song is just amazing to me."
"My all-time favorite jazz artist to listen to was Buddy Baldwin,
AKA "the jazz king." I think I'm going to go out and buy a couple of his CDs"
"I was surprised to find musicians with such odd names such as Vilage Von Guard."
"Jazz is not as popular with all of the adolescence going
around."
"I like jazz more in books than on cds."
"I remember coming into class with no facts but a whole plate of bull**** to dish out."
"I found myself learning about Blues, Early Jazz, Dixieland,
Swing, Be Bop, Brazilian, Afro-Cuban, Cool Jazz, Hard Bop, Free Jazz, Third Stream, Japanese, Post Bop, Fusion, Smooth, Modern Jazz, and the list goes on."
"'Call and Respond' is where one musician plays and the other
one tries too hard to figure out what he's doing."
"The people in Dixie Land originated jazz music."
"Jazz is now a part of me from 2pm-3:15pm every Tuesday and Thursday."
"Jazz started in the fields where they used hand-me-down
instruments and wore hand-me-down clothes."
"If Wynton Marsalis said jazz was dead in the 1970's, what was he playing at the time?"
"Weather Report was the final big band back in the day."
"My girlfriend and I both agreed the next morning that jazz-club food was something we could've done without."
"Jazz agitates me."
"I like jazz, but I need something else besides rhythm, melody,
and harmony."
"I had no clue that so many (musicians) used drugs. Thinking
about that, there is no doubt that they are living the life I dream of. They are spending money on things that they don't really need or even want."
"I noticed that there weren't many jazz women in our textbook
until I looked to see that the author was a guy. All guys are sexist, women bashers, who don't ever give us our credit."
"The part I most enjoyed was studying and appreciating
slavery."
"Its hard to imagine where Winton Marsalis gets his ideas
from."
"I'd like to see midgets getting bribed in every jazz club. Not
just with Birdland. I'm of course talking about the jazz club, not Charlie Parker."
"We've had our share of good times and bad times over the
semester. By bad times, I mean my tests."
"Count Bassie WAS the swing era"
"This class increased my intelligence with aptitude."
Duke Ellington had the ability to turn jazz compositions into
pure magic."
"Swing died in World War II when the soloists took over."
"I could go on and on about jazz, but I won't."
"Tony Williams was my favorite drummer because his group,
Lifetime, is the same name as my favorite channel that I watch."
"How do the musicians know what to play when their eyes were closed the whole time? And what was with the piano player talking while he played his solos. His musician friends must have been thought he was crazy."
"I technically wasn't in your class but I was happy to be along
for the ride."
"I was in jazz band in high school but we didn't play jazz
music."
"Dizzie Gillespie was the one who jammed on the drums."
"I thought doing our listening report would be a painful sort of
torture."
"I was bummed out at the beginning of the semester because I thought Louis Armstrong was going to be one of the guest lecturers."

Some of those were pretty funny. And alot of them were just pathetic. But I can't help but see that the future is SOOOOO DOOOMED! :rollno:

That's just scary.

Wonder what my classmates will be like at the New School in the fall

"Smooth jazz now just plain old angers me."

"I asked the drummer what the names of the names and styles of the tunes that he played but he didn't seem to know."

"I loved the vibrational solos of Clifford Brown."

"Even though I probably won't listen to jazz after this
semester, it has given me a greater appreciation of movies."

"If Wynton Marsalis said jazz was dead in the 1970's, what was he playing at the time?"

"Jazz agitates me."

"Its hard to imagine where Winton Marsalis gets his ideas
from."

"I technically wasn't in your class but I was happy to be along
for the ride."

"I was in jazz band in high school but we didn't play jazz
music."


I like these the best................................:hmm:

"Jazz is now a part of me from 2pm-3:15pm every Tuesday and Thursday."

This one made me laugh until I cried... :p :bawl: .... I don't know why!

Some of those were pretty funny. And alot of them were just pathetic. But I can't help but see that the future is SOOOOO DOOOMED! :rollno:

I thought the same thing, until I realized that all the quotes were from slackers looking for an easy 'A'. :)

Some of my favorites-

"Steve Turre has taught me that sea shells should be left on the ground instead of his mouth."

"I wished Don Cherry would put his trumpet back in his pocket."

"Tony Williams was my favorite drummer because his group,
Lifetime, is the same name as my favorite channel that I watch."

I never knew one of the baldwins was a famous jazz musician, too.

I wonder who this Jim Crow guy is, too.

I remember taking this sweet young thang out on a date. I was in my late 20's, she was about 20 or so. We talked about music and she told me she just loved jazz, couldn't get enough jazz. I asked her, what did she listen to? Miles Davis? She says "Miles who?"

She turned out to be gay anyway.

I wish I could laugh but it was SO pathetic I was barely able to finish it. Someone tell me it really was a joke....please!


bob

PS. I'm keepin' this one though---"I like jazz, but I need something else besides rhythm, melody, and harmony."

:bawl:

I swear, I was in whatever class that was, very recently. It's all....*sniff*....so real....


:bawl:

I wonder who this Jim Crow guy is, too.

"James Crow worked to bring the slaves together with the
creoles."



...it's all there!! ;)

PS - who do you think wrote the syllabus for this class....Ken Burns!!?? ;)

I was tickled by:

"Swing makes you want to get up and dance and free jazz just makes you want to get up." :)

Time to spin that Ornette Coleman disk again, methinks!

Wulf

A note to my two children:

Dear kids,
Please read the above sentences, written by some of today's college students. They will give you a glimpse into my darkest fears.
Study hard and learn all you can, because if you sound like that when you're in college, I will shake you so hard your hair will change color.
Dad

No worries here. One daughter is 11, the other is 7, and they both sound more coherent than anyone on that list. :hmm:

A note to my two children:

Dear kids,
Please read the above sentences, written by some of today's college students. They will give you a glimpse into my darkest fears.
Study hard and learn all you can, because if you sound like that when you're in college, I will shake you so hard your hair will change color.
Dad


ROTFLMFAO!

ROTFLMFAO!

okay, okay. you stumped me. ***?

I gave up trying to "edumacate" people about jazz a long time ago. Either they like it or they won't. Or they'll pretend to like it to humor you or appear hip.

Last time I attempted this was a few years ago when I played Bill Evan's achingly beautiful "Blue in Green" for a coworker whose tastes never ranged much further than America's Top 40.

After listening to a few seconds, she snorted, "Cocktail piano."

She doesn't DESERVE Bill Evans. :spit:

"Learning jazz has helped me beat my mom at Jeopardy. She had no idea who a blind pianist from Toledo, OH was for $800."

great list

funny and scary at the same time

okay, okay. you stumped me. ***?


Rolling On The Floor Laughing My F*n A** Off

mmkay

mmkay

Maudlin monkeys kissed arse yesterday?

Mickey Mouse kicks arrogant yak?

Moldy muffins kill adulterous yuppies?

***? :confused:

Yer kidding me, right?

It's a reference to South Park... the guidance counselor... "Instead of saying f*ck, say mmkay, mmkay?"

I just meant to say "okay". :rolleyes:

ROTFLMLWEIGNAO!!!

go to bed :scowl:

Rolling
On
The
Floor
Laughing
My
Levis
Wearin,
Even
In
Glenview,but with a
Nice button-down shirt
A**
Off???

Rolling
On
The
Floor
Laughing
My
Levis
Wearin,
Even
In
Glenview,but with a
Nice button-down shirt
A**
Off???


"Lily-White-English-Irish-German-Norwegian". :D

I was just about to edit in the nationalities when I read your post in the nationality jokes thread. Totally missed the "lily-white" though.

Totally missed the "lily-white" though.


Only because you haven't met me - my nickname in grade school was "Casper".

"I wished Don Cherry would put his trumpet back in his pocket."



I can't help but agree with this. :D

Funny stuff.

I almost died when i read this:

"Jim Crow was the first jazz musician"

I almost died when i read this:

"Jim Crow was the first jazz musician"

That's why I asked if Ken Burns had written the syllabus!! ;)

its funny cause I took this class to fullfill music and history degree's and thought the same on more then a couple points.

I finished a degree in english despite my horrid spelling and terrible forum posting. What I took away from that degree was the ability to write convincing paper on subjets teachers would rather not read.

For instance, my concert review for jazz class. I was seated last, although first in line. My drink orders were taken, but never served. I was seated in the back, despite the seats in front of the band. After an hour I left and wrote a paper all about why I dislike jazz because its incohesive, and why I despise jazz because the people surrounding it treat me poorly because I'm "poor/uncultured/dont tip/impollite/loud/dont dress well/drive an old car/dont spend $100 at the bar/dont swing dance/dont dance/not over 65/didnt fight in ww2/have never played a record" (I honestly dont know).

A week later I got the paper back, and was nicely asked If the teacher could keep the paper because all my point were valid and venues that treat me and other music students poorly give jazz a bad name.

All music is noise until you've heard enough to figure out what's going on. That's why we hear things like, "There are only two bluegrass songs" or "All that headbanger **** sounds the same" or or "operas are so ****ing dull" or "jazz is incohesive."

Then, one night, you're kicking back and Miles tells the truth, and the light bulb goes off. (Or maybe not!)

Keep digging. There's some incredible stuff out there in the midst of all the good and mediorce.

its funny cause I took this class to fullfill music and history degree's and thought the same on more then a couple points.

I finished a degree in english despite my horrid spelling and terrible forum posting. What I took away from that degree was the ability to write convincing paper on subjets teachers would rather not read.

For instance, my concert review for jazz class. I was seated last, although first in line. My drink orders were taken, but never served. I was seated in the back, despite the seats in front of the band. After an hour I left and wrote a paper all about why I dislike jazz because its incohesive, and why I despise jazz because the people surrounding it treat me poorly because I'm "poor/uncultured/dont tip/impollite/loud/dont dress well/drive an old car/dont spend $100 at the bar/dont swing dance/dont dance/not over 65/didnt fight in ww2/have never played a record" (I honestly dont know).



This doesn't sound very "convincing" to me...;)

But then I hear they're teaching "Creationism" in schools in the US....:hmm:

...and someone just opened a Creationism Musuem across the river in Petersburg, Kentucky. They expect over 500,000 people in their first year... sigh... I wish Douglas Adams was still alive.

I wish Douglas Adams was still alive

But his face flashing across the screen at the end of the Hitchhiker's Guide movie was good enough.

But then I hear they're teaching "Creationism" in schools in the US...
Not up here in the free states they're not. We teach science in science class.

"Nobody likes Jazz!"- my jazz bass professor

These 3 words have been my practice Mantra for 6 years.

At the risk of sounding like those college kids who are not very educated in the ways of Jazz...I'm still learning (I hope) to massage both sides of the brain.

In a free society we should remember that science involves the approach of observation, hypothesis and testing; and reworking the hypothesis. Oftentimes we get beat over the head enough with a theory, we may regard it as fact. However reproducible, it is still a theory. Earth in the past was flat and was orbited by the Sun. The "plum pudding" model of an atom (however tasty) soon gave way to the nuclear atom with electron clouds. New genetic research has raised a lot of questions about the Theory of Evolution.

Evolution is based on the rise of new species from genetic recombination, mutation, and natural selection. New bacteria strains mutate and become resistant to antibiotics. Mosquitoes become resistant to the latest pesticides. Researchers are finding that the bacteria are performing this feat by dragging existing proteins into the nucleus to essentially "turn on" the protein useful in counteracting the effects of the antibiotic. Nothing is created new. Mosquitoes "turn off" affected genes. This is a genetic loss, and basically devolving. The famous pepper moth of all high school and college genetic books felt the pressures of natural selection during the industrial revolution, as the darker colored moths blended into the soot-covered trees and weren't picked off by owls. But even then, all the genes were present in the moth, and no new genes were added. It’s true that Darwin’s finches felt the pressure of natural selection, but all the genes were present to create a long hooked bill, or a shorter bill that couldn’t crack nuts. (Why crack nuts if there are none around; and you prefer bugs anyway?) This is analogous to a room with rows of lights. The professor may turn off a couple rows so the class can better see the film that is being shown; turn just the front row on when he wants to feel like a star; or illuminate the whole room when everyone is beginning to nod off. Nobody is shooting the lights out or changing the bulbs from fluorescent to halogen, just turning on or turning off lights as needed.

It's kind of like the deconstructionist view of music. All the notes and sounds are out there, musicians collapse wave functions to create the audible sounds at that moment. Pulling from the ether, if you will. It's the old adage that it ain't really all the notes that are played, it's the silence between the notes. (Just had to throw that in there.)

Oh yeah, that was some funny and scary $#!+

"Creationism" in schools in the US....:hmm:

This may or may not be, but they are forcing through alot of other religious tenets: Enviromentalism, Communism, Socialism, Feminism, Relativism, ...

Ray, I don't know if I'd go so far as to call some on your list as 'religious,' although -isms have been construed as such. If in fact the school systems are teaching these concepts, one definition of freedom may be; "Having a multitude of choices."

I suppose in a 'free society,' Jesse, people have the right to their own opinions-take those college kids for example, they are exercising their right even though their opinions are uneducated.

One way jazz, or for that matter, art could be defined is; 'The recapitulation of society's collective unconscious." Creativity somehow emerges out of 'society's cachophony.'

Jesse, have you read Bill Bryson's new book, "A Short History of Just About Everything?" It gets into humans' scientific limitations on a deep level. I just finished it-great read.

I agree that differing opinions and ideas should flourish in a free society. We should be able to voice the dissenting opinion without harsh retribution. I would say that free will is the basis of this. Ideas must be trotted out to the public forum to be refined; shared with like minds and debated with dissenting minds. Fruit is not produced in a vacuum.

Somtimes it can be frustrating when others can not, or choose not, to see the beauty in what seems obviously beautiful to us. This doesn't make it any less beautiful to us, but we might learn something about the object of our heart's desire when viewed through dissenting eyes. The experience may refine our affection or maybe expose the lense through which the dissenter is viewing; allowing us to adjust our focus or effect theirs. It's takes a light touch to be authoritative yet not oppressive. I'm just so thankful that there are so many people on this forum that will readily share opinions, ideas, and experiences. A whole new world has opened and affected (or infected) my daydreams.

Whew, think I just bored myself to tears...bmL, I'll have to check around for that Bryson book.

ROTFLMLWEIGNAO!!!
ok, i'm fluent in l33t, but this one has got me.

ok, i'm fluent in l33t, but this one has got me.

Sorry: "Lilly White English-Irish-German-Norwegan". Just how fluent in l33t are you, anyway? :eyebrow:






















;)

Sorry: "Lilly White English-Irish-German-Norwegan". Just how fluent in l33t are you, anyway? :eyebrow:






















;)
pretty fluent, id say.

OMGWTFBBQLOLASLABSCNNNBCLOLLERSKATESROFLCOPTER!!!! !