http://www.scaredofgirls.com/bassist.html
I can't stop laughing at this. The 3rd and 4th lines are the best. Ahhhhh, the name of the band says it all.
WARNING---You'll probably want to turn your speakers OFF before going to that site, very bad music awaits.

LOL sign me up ;) :D

this is definetly the band for me... the dying cat vocals just make it.

I'm not sure I get why this is funny. Seems a straightforward enough ad, and if I met the criteria I'd audition. Hell, I may have to go 'head and get their CD now. Or I would if it weren't out of stock.

Thanks for turning me on to a decent band.

differnt strokes for different folks I suppose...

dayum...dunno if i could make a comment that wouldn't offend someone.
i guess you gotta be 'scared of girls' to audition.
(read: emo)
(and no offense to the 'one in ten' out there...or the metros or wtfe.)
(ditto to you, toasted :D)

I'm not sure I get why this is funny. Seems a straightforward enough ad, and if I met the criteria I'd audition. Hell, I may have to go 'head and get their CD now. Or I would if it weren't out of stock.

Thanks for turning me on to a decent band.
Are you serious?

It's probably out of stock because a record company stopped producing it because it was so bad. They didn't want to tarnish their name...

Are you serious?

It's probably out of stock because a record company stopped producing it because it was so bad. They didn't want to tarnish their name...

Dead serious. It's not "Heaven Tonight", but it's not a bad little slice of power pop. I've spent good money on worse records, that's for sure.

"We're a bunch of upbeat guys that love playing great, looking great and having the time of our lives while doing it."

I wasn't aware the guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy formed a band.

They need to be taken out back and beaten with a stick! :)

i didn't realize that having a low slung bass was so important.

i didn't realize that having a low slung bass was so important.

n00b



:D :smug:

They don't half want much, do they? Great looks, great studio and live playing, stage presence, no ego, crap, everybody wants that. The guys who have all that are already hired or fronting their own band...

I love the comment about the "low slung bass"

"We're a bunch of upbeat guys that love playing great, looking great and having the time of our lives while doing it."

I wasn't aware the guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy formed a band.
Lmfao!

'the look' is a major concern for a lot of bands

i once had a terrible time gigging with a 'pop' band
the guitar player would say things like:
'you're clothes aren't very rockin tonight'
'think about getting your hair frosted, like mine"

wilco...
tango..
foxtrot!

no, i was not with them long

This is funny. You can have all the great musicians in the world put together, but put a crappy vocalist in there, and you're done with. But ya, I guess it's on par with all the other crap they call "music" on the radio nowadays. Off pitch, off key, off talent... :scowl:

This is a very good ad in a way. If you are not the right person for this band odds are you'll know it immediately and won't waste their time or yours.

i say its the most fake thing ive ever read, id rather go on the x factor

ah the link doesnt work for me.. too bad.. i wanted to laugh too

I think a lot of people probably thought the same thing about Motley Crue when they started. Very similar in their overall approach "stylistically." They wore makeup, women's clothing, etc. Not that their music was the same, but have ya ever heard Vince Neil sing? Talk about yer wailin' cats!

Don't get me wrong...I love the Crue...but this band really isn't that different in what they are trying to accomplish.....

Whats ironic is that there are thousands of great musicians out there, living in obscurity and at the best doing gigs playing somebody elses music, while there are thousends of people like that ad is after, making $$$ and can't produce a single tune you can remember.

But, hey, I remember a song back in 80's called "Video killed the radio star"... ;)

Me, I don't care, I'm both ugly, out of fashion and cant play. But Im having a good time anyway.

Dayum, I don't look like I'm younger than 28.

W

T

F

:rollno:

You have great stage presence - low slung bass, you can't wait to take the stage and have the time of your life every time you're up there.

They can go to hell!

I bet if the new guy is bald they'll make him wear a frosted falsie on the back of his head.

It makes me want to put out my own ad for a keys player...

"MUST be able to do synth parts on MJ's 'Thriller', AND backup 'howling' vocals! Not that we actually cover it or anything, but just the fact that you can do it will probably get you the job!"

:bassist:

i didn't realize that having a low slung bass was so important.

I think that's for those that are older than the "28", but look younger; this way, you get to rest the bass on the floor while you're feet are spread 8 feet apart and your arms hang down like monkey! :D Take it from me; once you hit "29", you lose all your energy and start using walkers to get on and off stage! (I won't even start on the hair issue!) :eyebrow:

What I really like is the "You Don't Have A Big Ego" criteria. Hard to pull off all the other requirements without it, I would think! ;)

"MUST be able to do synth parts on MJ's 'Thriller', AND backup 'howling' vocals! Not that we actually cover it or anything, but just the fact that you can do it will probably get you the job!"

:bassist:


where do i sign up?

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_studiopictures/images/Silly%20SOG.jpg

This is "lookin' good?"

Uh, musically they sound like the band I auditioned for... generic pop rock. Booooring.

Supposedly this is one of their fans:

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_thegig_jeffrey_grossman/images/Blonde%20SOG%20fan.jpg
Yay to that.

But seriously where in the world is this cool?:

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_vegas/images/Picture%20010.jpg
Just looking at that guy's hair and clothes makes me mad somehow.

"We're a bunch of upbeat guys that love playing great, looking great and having the time of our lives while doing it."

I wasn't aware the guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy formed a band.

+1

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_studiopictures/images/Silly%20SOG.jpg

This is "lookin' good?"

Uh, musically they sound like the band I auditioned for... generic pop rock. Booooring.

And they look younger than 28 how?

And they look younger than 28 how?


For real. The guy on the right (one missing some hair) looks at LEAST in his mid-30's!!

For real. The guy on the right (one missing some hair) looks at LEAST in his mid-30's!!

He kind of looks like Peter from Office Space IMO.


[lumberg on]
Under 28...mmmyea....right
[/lumberg off]

For real. The guy on the right (one missing some hair) looks at LEAST in his mid-30's!!
"Ah, Dude, that's where I shaved the side of my head on stage with a bowie knife."
"And I make my own drumsticks out of thigh bone!"

To be young and stupid again.......but then again there are the Barely Legal fans :D

Is the one on the left one of the hanson brothers?

Nah. They actually have short hair now.

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_vegas/images/Picture%20010.jpg
Just looking at that guy's hair and clothes makes me mad somehow.
Hey! The guy on the left. He's cheating! His bass isn't slung low, he just has bad posture :rolleyes:

That's probably why they kicked him out of the band..... he went to a chiropractor who straightened him up.... and he was caught with his bass up :rollno:

Supposedly this is one of their fans:


Yay to that.

But seriously where in the world is this cool?:

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_vegas/images/Picture%20010.jpg
Just looking at that guy's hair and clothes makes me mad somehow.

The singer's pants remind me that I haven't eaten fruit roll ups in a really long time.

The singer's pants remind me that I haven't eaten fruit roll ups in a really long time.
Oh man, now I'll never be able to eat fruit roll ups again......

Oh man, now I'll never be able to eat fruit roll ups again......

I just won't be able to eat the strawberry ones.

You'll NEVER see me on stage (or anywhere else) wearing a tight shirt and bell bottoms......F*CK THAT!!! :D

Its just sad that if you want to make it any where in the music industry now-a-days you have to look at the asthetic aspect seriously. I just think talent is looked upon as a plus rather than a necessity and that just pisses me off. It just seems so hard if your trying to get something new out there and you don't fit into a genre or have a look. But I guess bands have always had to market themselves to make it places

This is a very good ad in a way. If you are not the right person for this band odds are you'll know it immediately and won't waste their time or yours.

+1

The more I look at the requirements, the more I begin to realize that these people are not pure musicians, but rather, the all-too-common-these-days "sociomusician," or the musician that values sociality over musicality. I begin writing them a polite (seriously) e-mail about how I disagreed with them, but then I stopped because I realized that they first of all, wouldn't care what I said, and second of all, that what I was doing was basically reducing the band to nothing more than over-grown teenagers looking to find their identity--even though I wasn't consciencously thinking that dimly of them.

I just think talent is looked upon as a plus rather than a necessity and that just pisses me off.

It's never been any other way, man. It's call the music industry for a reason. It's a job, just like any other; only difference between dressing like them and making power pop and dressing in a 3 piece suit and selling managment solutions is the product.

Dress the part, have the product, know the target consumer, sell product. Music and talent have always played second fiddle, in the sceme of things. Yeah, jazz and other "pure music"s don't require it, but they appeal to a different consumer base than say, these guys will. Music is more about being in the right place, during the right time, appealing to the right people, and knowing the right people. Rock, and most music on a greater-than-local scale have never been anything but.

Nature of the beast; why get pissed off that bears like pickinic bas-kets?

http://scaredofgirls.com/thumbnailgalleries/thumbnails_vegas/images/Picture%20010.jpg
Just looking at that guy's hair and clothes makes me mad somehow.
That reminds me of a generic anime chick-gone-acid head....And there are VERY few people that can wear bell-bottoms on stage and get away with it, most notably Robert Plant..Oh, and Prince.

Since when was a modern rockstar a complete washed up make up girl pants? low slung bass, looks cool, good rock look. looks under 28 and he can't have a good ego what are they on hipacrites.