I learn something new every day over on the BG side. Here's some tips on "picking up chicks" that could also be applied to the DB.....


Originally posted by A Rock
i noticed that some bassists get more attention than guitarist if they have more fiesty stage presence and stay near the singer!!that would help dont u think?

Originally posted by downward spiral
staying near the singer would help.... throwing something at the singer would also get you attention, but you will only be able to do this a couple of times without getting the singer's rage upon you,... unless you are best of friends, in which case you will prob. get something thrown back at you, all in the best of spirits...

Originally posted by Munjibunga
Yes, your best bet is a rock band. If you get in a jazz band, the chicks may have higher expectations that you'll be literate.

ALARMEDDUDE,

And that ain't the half of it. If you go back far enough, you will find the following BG Off Topic threads:

Poll: Who would win in a fight? KOOL AID MAN vs. MICHELIN MAN

Have You Named Your Strap?

Post Pics of your Imaginary Girlfriend

Are all Female Bassists Hot?

If You could Name your Bass, What would you call it?

Farting in the Car

How Much can you Drink before you Puke?

...and one whose title I can't remember, but which somehow morphed into "Places you've masturbated in public" before the moderator mercifully put it out of its misery. (This one may have been under "Bass Humor)

Kinda sounds like what might happen if Kafka got to write one of Letterman's "Top 10" lists, huh? It can indeed be frightening in the shallow end of the pool. The water has all of these warm yellow patches, too. Hmmm......


DURRL

It can indeed be frightening in the shallow end of the pool. The water has all of these warm yellow patches, too. Hmmm......

DURRL [/B][/QUOTE]

As we say in Minnesota, "Don't eat the yellow snow."

And lets not forget the ever popular
Liquid Wrench vs. WD-40

Originally posted by gruffpuppy
And lets not forget the ever popular
Liquid Wrench vs. WD-40

GRUFFY,

I haven't read that thread, but I was wondering...would either or both of those happen to be PENETRATING OILS, perhaps?

No, WD-40 it's a Water Displacer and Liquid Wrench is a Non-Flammable Super Lubricant.

You’re spending a little too much time in the gutter CF.


:D

http://www.cs.tufts.edu/~jtemkin/b&b/butthead_pipe.gif

heh..heh you said PENETRATING

Originally posted by gruffpuppy
No, WD-40 it's a Water Displacer and Liquid Wrench is a Non-Flammable Super Lubricant.

You’re spending a little too much time in the gutter CF.


:D

Right... I use WD-40 whenever I want my water over there .

Oh, that's a water mis-placer. Nevermind.

Hey, four cans was enough for Jaco.

Originally posted by farmerdude
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Munjibunga
Yes, your best bet is a rock band. If you get in a jazz band, the chicks may have higher expectations that you'll be literate.



Some of Munji's better work methinks; but I don't recall his name ever being Fuqua'd - surely a prime candidate - maybe even deserving of a whole thread? ;)

And that ain't the half of it. If you go back far enough, you will find the following BG Off Topic threads:

Poll: Who would win in a fight? KOOL AID MAN vs. MICHELIN MAN

Have You Named Your Strap?

Post Pics of your Imaginary Girlfriend

Are all Female Bassists Hot?

If You could Name your Bass, What would you call it?

Farting in the Car

How Much can you Drink before you Puke?

...and one whose title I can't remember, but which somehow morphed into "Places you've masturbated in public" before the moderator mercifully put it out of its misery. (This one may have been under "Bass Humor)

:D :p :D I remember them!
Jim

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield


Some of Munji's better work methinks; but I don't recall his name ever being Fuqua'd - surely a prime candidate - maybe even deserving of a whole thread? ;)

Well, if anybody over here had thought for even one microsecond that MONKEYBOOGERS was being serious, then I'm sure someone would have......

DOH!

MUNICIPAL KICKBACK MANIA

I never know whether he's serious so just assume not! ;)

What about my sparky tests? it was good for the first 100 posts until ppl got annoyed. On ya Merls!

:rolleyes:

Merls

Originally posted by merlin
What about my sparky tests? it was good for the first 100 posts until ppl got annoyed. On ya Merls!

:rolleyes:

Merls


HURLIN',

Don't get me wrong: the "Sparky Test" thread was pretty stupid, but it lacked the blazing neon "LOOK!!! I HAVE NO LIFE, SO I'M GONNA POST A TOTALLY STUPID THREAD" sign which would have catapulted it upward into eternal infamy.

Nice try, though...


SISKEL & DURRLBERT

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald



HURLIN',

Don't get me wrong: the "Sparky Test" thread was pretty stupid, but it lacked the blazing neon "LOOK!!! I HAVE NO LIFE, SO I'M GONNA POST A TOTALLY STUPID THREAD" sign which would have catapulted it upward into eternal infamy.

Nice try, though...


SISKEL & DURRLBERT

Good point. Although Jazzbo still closes threads from people asking about this sparky thing. and it is in Signatures.

Merls.

Originally posted by merlin


Good point. Although Jazzbo still closes threads from people asking about this sparky thing. and it is in Signatures.

Merls.

You better believe I close 'em!!! :D :D :D :D

Originally posted by jazzbo


You better believe I close 'em!!! :D :D :D :D

That sparky thing was like JWC, it smelt bad and wouldn't leave u alone. lolol

Merls

Originally posted by merlin


That sparky thing was like JWC, it smelt bad and wouldn't leave u alone. lolol

Merls

And you're the culprit behind this madness, if I remember! :D

Just a "heads up" (no pun intended): There is now a poll entitled something like "Bass vs. Sex" in BG Miscellaneous. At the moment I'm writing this, the thread is 3 pages long.

As if that in itself isn't frightening enough, the word on the street is that sex is losing.

It is indeed scary over there...

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald
Just a "heads up" (no pun intended): There is now a poll entitled something like "Bass vs. Sex" in BG Miscellaneous. At the moment I'm writing this, the thread is 3 pages long.

As if that in itself isn't frightening enough, the word on the street is that sex is losing.

It is indeed scary over there...

Yea but it is up against some stiff competition.
{insert rim shot}

Originally posted by gruffpuppy
Yea but it is up against some stiff competition.


I don't get it. That's too hard.
{insert second rim shot}

Originally posted by jazzbo


And you're the culprit behind this madness, if I remember! :D

*furrows brow* hmm you may be right.. hmm oh well wanna buy a book!

*runs off looking for eric the idiot*

:D:D

Merls

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald
Just a "heads up" (no pun intended): There is now a poll entitled something like "Bass vs. Sex" in BG Miscellaneous. At the moment I'm writing this, the thread is 3 pages long.

As if that in itself isn't frightening enough, the word on the street is that sex is losing.

It is indeed scary over there...

But given that 13/14 year olds don't have sex, it's really Bass or nothing - so it's not that surprising! ;)

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield


But given that 13/14 year olds don't have sex, ....

Come to a US inner-city. You'll change that statement. ;)

Originally posted by jazzbo


Come to a US inner-city. You'll change that statement. ;)

Alright - the 13/14 year olds who post on this site don't have sex! :D

Originally posted by jazzbo


Come to a US inner-city. You'll change that statement. ;)

or the US suburbs, for that matter. like rabbits i tell ya :(

Originally posted by john turner


or the US suburbs, for that matter. like rabbits i tell ya :(

Yep, my wife teaches at an alternative night high school in a really affluent area. The majority of the students are pregnant 14-16 year olds:(

Monte

Hmmmm.. sounds like there's something lacking in the Sex Education area then?

But that tells you that 14 year old girls are having sex but not necessarily the boys ;)

I still maintain that the reason the male 14 year olds here are putting Bass over Sex is because they aren't getting any - the girls are choosing more mature males! :D

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield
Hmmmm.. sounds like there's something lacking in the Sex Education area then?



unfortunately, it would seem that many are a bit too well sex-educated. :rolleyes: ;)

Castle DB is starting to look just as scary as BG. Raise the drawbridge, you're being infiltrated!

yeah, the barbarians are at the gate, man, get the oil. :D

Originally posted by john turner
yeah, the barbarians are at the gate, man, get the oil. :D

:eek: What, are they giving body rubs now?

Originally posted by XavierG
Castle DB is starting to look just as scary as BG. Raise the drawbridge, you're being infiltrated!

Word. Although it could be worse...

Currently playing in BG OT:

* "Costume Contest!!!"

* "Let's Just Be Friends"

* "Who Else has the hots for Broken Angel but just can't bring themselves to come right out and say it?" (paraphrase)

* "What are you being for Halloween?"

* "What celebrity are you secretly hot for"(paraphrase)


Time to raise the bridge and let the monsters back into the moat....

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield
Hmmmm.. sounds like there's something lacking in the Sex Education area then?

But that tells you that 14 year old girls are having sex but not necessarily the boys ;)

I still maintain that the reason the male 14 year olds here are putting Bass over Sex is because they aren't getting any - the girls are choosing more mature males! :D

Yeah, it takes a really mature guy to screw a 14 year old:rolleyes:

"Hey... I can buy beer!"

Originally posted by Brad Johnson


Yeah, it takes a really mature guy to screw a 14 year old:rolleyes:

"Hey... I can buy beer!"

Well I agree that mature was the wrong word to use - just intended in the sense of "older", plain and simple, if they had actually been wiser in any way then maybe they would have known about contraception - but if 14 year old girls are getting pregnant then somebody is doing it whether we like it or not. :(

With a nod to the CRISPYCREME dude...

Current topics in DB



*Hey, does this smell funny?

*Which upright has the most vibrant backside? *wink wink*

*Who let the doghouse out?

*Is it okay to play sh!% by a living composer?

*Do your grandkids think you're cool?

*I had the one, then I lost it. Help. Please.

*Hey, does this smell funny? Pt. 2

Originally posted by MASHED BRIDGES


With a nod to the CRISPYCREME dude...

Current topics in DB



*Hey, does this smell funny?

*Which upright has the most vibrant backside? *wink wink*

*Who let the doghouse out?

*Is it okay to play sh!% by a living composer?

*Do your grandkids think you're cool?

*I had the one, then I lost it. Help. Please.

*Hey, does this smell funny? Pt. 2



Yeah that's nice....try these on for size:

Currently playing in BG Off Topic

- I Can't Stand My Band Name!:mad:

- Do You Suck?

- I Hate Bad Haircuts! :mad:

- What's your Porn Star name? :confused:


I found these all floating at the top of OT at the time of this post. Where YOUR list came from, I couldn't tell you. Did you pull it out of your American Standard? ;)

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald




Yeah that's nice....try these on for size:

Currently playing in BG Off Topic

- I Can't Stand My Band Name!:mad:

- Do You Suck?

- I Hate Bad Haircuts! :mad:

- What's your Porn Star name? :confused:


I found these all floating at the top of OT at the time of this post.

And that's the ones that actually mean anything at all! I just can't understand the motivation for a lot of it - I mean why would a person think that anybody else would be interested in stuff like this - what sort of "world view" have they got?

So you get a means of communication that enables you to talk to people almost anywhere in the world about whatever you want and so you get "what did you have to eat today?" - never has so much bandwith been misused by so many, for so little!

It seems the more potential we have, the more people want to waste it? :rolleyes:

I know there are silly topics over in BG. I was obviously joking. Maybe every post on Talkbass "should" have a world view or contain the key to the meaning of life...

or maybe some people should just lighten the %$@# up?

:D :rolleyes:

By the way, I have an American Deluxe.

Originally posted by Brad Johnson
Maybe every post on Talkbass "should" have a world view or contain the key to the meaning of life...


Well I think this is a bit over the top - how can a "post" have a view of the world. :rolleyes:

I think this is based on a misunderstanding of what I mean by "world view" - I don't mean that everybody should have a grasp of all sorts of philosophical concepts or what is going on in world politics! ;)

What I mean is how they place themselves in the world, how they relate to peers, friends,acquaintances etc.

I can only imagine that some people think that every little detail of their waking lives or their most banal thought is worthy of every other human being's immediate attention!

Why I can't understand this, is because I just can't imagine how this kind of attitude "cuts much ice" in the real world - so like you walk into a crowded bar and shout out :"I hate Bad Haircuts!" - surely the reaction you get will immediately disabuse you of the world view that "anybody gives a damn!" ? :D



PS The day I lighten up, will be the day I die - life's too important to take lightly! ;)

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield


Well I think this is a bit over the top - how can a "post" have a view of the world. :rolleyes:

You tell us. You brought it up:rolleyes:

I think this is based on a misunderstanding of what I mean by "world view" - I don't mean that everybody should have a grasp of all sorts of philosophical concepts or what is going on in world politics! ;)

What I mean is how they place themselves in the world, how they relate to peers, friends,acquaintances etc.

Did anyone respond to the posts that you take issue with? If so, then they obviously related to someone.

I can only imagine that some people think that every little detail of their waking lives or their most banal thought is worthy of every other human being's immediate attention!

While others think that every little thing that annoys them must be railed against. Hmmm...

Why I can't understand this, is because I just can't imagine how this kind of attitude "cuts much ice" in the real world - so like you walk into a crowded bar and shout out :"I hate Bad Haircuts!" - surely the reaction you get will immediately disabuse you of the world view that "anybody gives a damn!" ? :D

What you fail to understand is that some people here have developed relationships with others here that allow them to joke and be silly. For them everything is not about cutting ice in the real world... that's your issue, not theirs... yet you can't seem to let them have their fun. Here's a hint... I'm sure they're not posting that stuff with your participation in mind... or mine.

How much of the stuff in this thread cuts ice IRL? How important is the coffee thread to a non-coffee drinker?

Some people like to be frivolous. Some people thrive on being a wet blanket. Oh well:rolleyes:

Why everything seems to have to pass this "if you walked into a bar.." test of yours is beyond me.

PS The day I lighten up, will be the day I die - life's too important to take lightly!

No surprise there, Bruce. You never joke around, right?

Originally posted by Brad Johnson
You tell us. You brought it up

Well I was saying that I couldn't understand a "person's" world view - not a post, as you said.

Why everything seems to have to pass this "if you walked into a bar.." test of yours is beyond me.

It's just an example - I could have said - coffe shop, mall , laundrette, village square - anywhere "public" - I just think of TB as a virtual bar and so it just comes to mind first


Basically I was just agreeing with Chris and what he was saying - I don't know why you feel the need to "have a go" at me. I'm sure that Chris knows very well that I have a sense of humour - if some people don't "get it", is that my fault? ;)

Who's spoiling who's fun here?

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield


And that's the ones that actually mean anything at all! I just can't understand the motivation for a lot of it - I mean why would a person think that anybody else would be interested in stuff like this - what sort of "world view" have they got?

So you get a means of communication that enables you to talk to people almost anywhere in the world about whatever you want and so you get "what did you have to eat today?" - never has so much bandwith been misused by so many, for so little!

It seems the more potential we have, the more people want to waste it? :rolleyes:

Sorry I misinterpreted this gut-buster

:D:D:D

Originally posted by Bruce Lindfield
Basically I was just agreeing with Chris and what he was saying - I don't know why you feel the need to "have a go" at me. I'm sure that Chris knows very well that I have a sense of humour - if some people don't "get it", is that my fault? ;)

Who's spoiling who's fun here?

Just for future reference, whenever anyone disagrees with what you say, are they having a go at you... or is it just me.

I usually hesitate to call you on much of anything you say anymore, the whining is almost guaranteed to follow, along with the bit about "misunderstanding" you.

I disagreed with you. I asked you some questions. I'm evil:D

OK - if you're disagreeing with me I can live with that - I'm sure it would be very boring to be in the position where you agreed with everything everybody else said - what would you talk about! :D

It did tickle my obscure sense of humour to think about some of the discussions on the BG side actually taking place in a bar or some other public meeting place! :eek:

If a vague acquaintance came up to me and said "what did you have for breakfast today" or "I hate bad haircuts", I would just laugh out loud or give them some weird look - depending on how big and mean-looking they were!! ;)

I agree, conversations like that would be pretty odd in a bar.

I'm guessing that some people aren't getting out to bars, they're bored, they're at a loss for something "substantial" to talk about and they're just being goofy... just trying to amuse themselves and possibly others.

We have all kinds here. That's the beauty of this place.

ROGER THE BRAD,

So, um....like.....what DID u guys end up naming ur straps? Inquiring minds wanna like, KNOW... :)

(P.S. - note careful use of obligatory BG smiley! ;) )

Kay

Originally posted by FLAT HEADSTONE
Kay

U named ur strap Kay? KAY???!??? What kind uv name is THAT 4 a strap? R U serious???:confused:

I normally hate to post twice in a row, but I woke up this morning and saw one that definitely, DEFINITELY needs to be added to the list:


* "Does Anyone Else Own Piranhas?"


If that one gets more than 3 replies, I'd be very careful about wading in the shallow end of the pool for a while....

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald
I normally hate to post twice in a row, but I woke up this morning and saw one that definitely, DEFINITELY needs to be added to the list:


* "Does Anyone Else Own Piranhas?"


If that one gets more than 3 replies, I'd be very careful about wading in the shallow end of the pool for a while....

He must have been expecting a snappy reply!

Boom boom! :p

Wow. This was interesting/enlightening.

Originally posted by IGNORANCEISCRANIUM
Wow. This was interesting/enlightening.


Wasn't it, though?

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald



Wasn't it, though?
*farts noisily* into the wind. nah.

Female canine creature! :p and they say i'd abuse the status of "Moderator" ... :D

Originally posted by *ToNeS*
bitch :p and they say i'd abuse the status of "Moderator" ... :D

That was one of the perks that JT used to lure me into the mod business in the first place...in fact, it may well have been the one that tipped the scales in favor of my agreeing to do it.

It's good to be king. :D

You lot think BG is scary?? Head over to tabcrawler.com and check out the bass forum. I used to be stuck over there until John Davis saved me and brought me over here. I haven't been back since. On TC, all you get is "ur a fagit" and "fred durst sucks." That's pretty much it. It's a massive infested wasteland of crap, crap, and more crap.

And hey... I'm all for going a little light once in a while. We can't all be Karl Marx with a bass, and I don't even want to think about it if we were.

Inversely, you could also say that life is too important to take too seriously. Either way, it works. Just depends on who you are.

P.S. This is my first post in DB. I've always wanted to learn to play, and once I get to Music Tech, it's gonna be one of the first things I pick up.

Originally posted by Chris Fitzgerald


That was one of the perks that JT used to lure me into the mod business in the first place...in fact, it may well have been the one that tipped the scales in favor of my agreeing to do it.

It's good to be king. :D
I'm reporting this post to the moderator

Originally posted by Don Higdon

I'm reporting this post to the moderator
haha! who's the man now, Chrissy! :p "female canine creature" my sweaty posterior ...









note: uh, Don? we're just mucking around, man, just in case you were sincere - there's no need to report Fitzy. although it would be really funny...

Originally posted by *FiElDyToNeS*

haha! who's the man now, Chrissy! :p "female canine creature" my sweaty posterior ...


note: uh, Don? we're just mucking around, man, just in case you were sincere - there's no need to report Fitzy. although it would be really funny...


Yeah, I'll be losing some sleep over THAT prospect.



Not.


The way I'm looking at this is: There are only two moderators here whose phone rings when someone clicks on one of those little "Report this post to a Moderator" links....that'd be me and Mr. O'saur. I figure if Don were going to report me, the worst that could happen is:

a) I'd answer the phone, see the report on myself, and do absolutely nothing; or

b) Don would see the report, realize that he wrote it, and then wonder what the hell he's doing sending messages to himself....distracted by this tangent, he'd forget to care about what was going on at Talkbass. Again, I'm exonerated.

I can live with either.:cool:

Originally posted by Chris LikesMERAL

The way I'm looking at this is: There are only two moderators here whose phone rings when someone clicks on one of those little "Report this post to a Moderator" links....that'd be me and Mr. O'saur. I figure if Don were going to report me, the worst that could happen is:

a) I'd answer the phone, see the report on myself, and do absolutely nothing; or

b) Don would see the report, realize that he wrote it, and then wonder what the hell he's doing sending messages to himself....distracted by this tangent, he'd forget to care about what was going on at Talkbass. Again, I'm exonerated.

I can live with either.:cool:
dastardly. utterly dastardly. Chris, you can do whatever you want with me. i am powerless in your manly moderational grasp, dangling helplessly from the jaws of the enforcer like an Ibanez taped to a 10 metre strap dangles from FiELDy'Z beer-induced bulk. know that i will sell my dignity dearly should you attempt to replace the contents of any of my posts with commentary that make me out to be a screaming, frenzied homosexual with no regard for authority.









hey, waitasec ... :D

Originally posted by *ToNeS*

dastardly. utterly dastardly. Chris, you can do whatever you want with me. i am, powerless in your manly moderational grasp, a screaming, frenzied homosexual with no regard for authority.

hey, waitasec ... :D


Didn't even have to use my superpowers to find that one.


This thread is going nowhere fast. I think it's time for a FLUSH.


Did I mention it's good to be king?:D