Disclaimer: Now at the age of 41, I find myself playing bar gigs for the first time since I was in college. This band is just getting started, with only 2 bar gigs to date, and it's more amusing than the years of playing bar gigs when I was 20 years younger. I was going to tack this on to the other thread I started, "Sleezy Bar Stories", but this night was in one of the "respectable" places in town.

This was going to be really long, but I'm tired. Here's what happened:

Good looking drunk woman puts her arms around me and hits on me twice. After my two blow offs, she moves on to about 8-10 other guys before leaving with one.
Two drunk women dirty dancing with themselves, and various guys. The band gets an eyeful of a$$ cheek a couple of times.
One of the dirty dancing girls gets into a cat fight in the parking lot. Very entertaining, but then it gets ugly when guys get involved . Some one gets hit in the head with a bat. Cops called, but no one really injured.
Our lead singer starts a tirade about divorce and clears about 1/5 of the bar. Nice move.
We get a request for...no... I can't say it.....oh no....FREEBIRD! AAAAHHHHHH! We told him we'd do it for $100, so he thankfully declined.
Good looking drunk woman (from the first item) sings Happy Birthday to one of the 8- 10 guys she's dirty dancing with. Of course changing key every other word.
We finish and drunk guy at the bar turns around stumbles across the dance floor and falls face first into our guitarist's pedalboard. Of course the band only cares if he broke one of the the effects. Good thing his face was softer than the effects.
The bar owner shows up at the end of the night and claims we didn't bring the number of people we said would come to see us. So we have to justify our pay. He finally pays us and appologizes because there were two main events in town that night AND the 15 people involved in the drunken fight in the parking lot didn't pay their tab.
And finally... The band goes to Denny's for a 2:30 AM breakfast.


Well that's it boys and girls. About the only thing that didn't happen was the obligatory drummer who wants to sit in or Mr. Air Guitarist on the dance floor.

wow,
that is it?
no bouncers was stabbed?
you didn't play Free Bird with an added bass solo, drum solo and vocal scat sesion? just to make the person who requested it really sorry?
you didn't play any songs twice because for some reason at a cover gig where you are selling your soul you still feel the need to keep that one thing sacred?
During your break no one came up on the stage, sat behind the drums and started looking through the stick bag because he was looking for the kind of sticks that he likes, he want's to play with the band?
you didn't have some fat sweaty hog come up and try to request the Joker as you are trying to sing another song?
you didn't have a bridal shower show up for only five seconds?
no one fell into the drumset and look at you like it was your fault?
you didn't get charged full price for drinks including cokes?
you didn't get some girl making scowling faces while you play, as if that would draw more attention to her and make her look more cool than the band?
the guitar player of the band didn't talk for the entire night and irritate you about weather he is using a tube or solid stat rectifier?
some girl didn't jump on stage and want to grind all over you while your wife or girlfriend is there to see it all go down and make you sorry for it later?

OK, OK, maybe I'm a little new to this again.

Think of it as something to look forward too. All I can say is that make sure you really like the guys that are in the band with you.

Yeah..Bob...clap..clap...clap...good times...good times...its why we do this...right? :hiding:

I like when the band does "Freeeeeeebiiiiiird!!!" in 3/4 time, with a burning accordian solo. Really makes people think twice about asking for it again! :D

Disclaimer: Now at the age of 41, I find myself playing bar gigs for the first time since I was in college. This band is just getting started, with only 2 bar gigs to date, and it's more amusing than the years of playing bar gigs when I was 20 years younger. I was going to tack this on to the other thread I started, "Sleezy Bar Stories", but this night was in one of the "respectable" places in town.

This was going to be really long, but I'm tired. Here's what happened:

Good looking drunk woman puts her arms around me and hits on me twice. After my two blow offs, she moves on to about 8-10 other guys before leaving with one.
Two drunk women dirty dancing with themselves, and various guys. The band gets an eyeful of a$$ cheek a couple of times.
One of the dirty dancing girls gets into a cat fight in the parking lot. Very entertaining, but then it gets ugly when guys get involved . Some one gets hit in the head with a bat. Cops called, but no one really injured.
Our lead singer starts a tirade about divorce and clears about 1/5 of the bar. Nice move.
We get a request for...no... I can't say it.....oh no....FREEBIRD! AAAAHHHHHH! We told him we'd do it for $100, so he thankfully declined.
Good looking drunk woman (from the first item) sings Happy Birthday to one of the 8- 10 guys she's dirty dancing with. Of course changing key every other word.
We finish and drunk guy at the bar turns around stumbles across the dance floor and falls face first into our guitarist's pedalboard. Of course the band only cares if he broke one of the the effects. Good thing his face was softer than the effects.
The bar owner shows up at the end of the night and claims we didn't bring the number of people we said would come to see us. So we have to justify our pay. He finally pays us and appologizes because there were two main events in town that night AND the 15 people involved in the drunken fight in the parking lot didn't pay their tab.
And finally... The band goes to Denny's for a 2:30 AM breakfast.


Well that's it boys and girls. About the only thing that didn't happen was the obligatory drummer who wants to sit in or Mr. Air Guitarist on the dance floor.

Thanks for this post, it really made me smile. :)

We get a request for...no... I can't say it.....oh no....FREEBIRD! AAAAHHHHHH! We told him we'd do it for $100, so he thankfully declined.

Way to go! :p I applaud you and your associates. This should be IRONCLAD policy in EVERY band! Unless he looks like he might actually have $100 to spare... :eek:

Hey, what about the guy coming up to ask you why your "guitar" only has four strings?
(Oops, sorry... that's another thread...) ;)

Unless he looks like he might actually have $100 to spare... :eek: Which reminds of this one time I was at a bar listening to a jazz quartet. There's a middle aged guy in a white suit wearing a Fedora that talks like Christopher Walken who yells out "I have a favor to ask." To which the bassist in the band jokingly replies, "how much is it gonna cost me?" Chris Walken responds with "well...I have a lot of money, so that's not a problem. I want you to play a song. It's an old song...."

"well what's the name of the song?"

"It's a song called...(pause)...My Favorite Things."

The bass player says, "sorry buddy but we can't do that one." Then a random girl in the audience says "you should play it. He has a lot of money."

It was one of those surreal moments where I thought I was in the middle of a Saturday Night Live skit or something.

Ahhhh...How I love a good bar gig. Its like a WWF wrestling match and a soap opera, rolled into one.

At my favorite local venue, a fellow bassist and I decided that we needed to have someone come to every gig with a video camera. Not for the band, but for the patrons. Then we would create a reality show with the footage and become filthy, stinking rich.

Cherie ;) :bassist:

whenever they ask, "Do you take requests??", we invariably reply: "Of course, we take them! we just don't play them"

nothing like play for a bar full of drunk people who have no clue as to whats going on on stage except that they know how to play air guitar/bass. I love that do the thing with a slap bass motioning of the hands. *** is that.

I like when the band does "Freeeeeeebiiiiiird!!!" in 3/4 time, with a burning accordian solo. Really makes people think twice about asking for it again! :D


I'am still laughing about this one!!

Maybe sing it with a foreign accent too.

I'am still laughing about this one!!

Maybe sing it with a foreign accent too.Borat sings the hits! LOL! Great suggestion! :bassist:

whenever they ask, "Do you take requests??", we invariably reply: "Of course, we take them! we just don't play them"
We do,IF they'er written on the "Offical Request Form".
A twenty dollar bill.

A Twist with the band:

Our lead singer has always done rock and hard rock covers or his own originals. The drummer, guitarist and I have also had a side band that does corporate gigs-- you know old stuff with RnB, classic dancable rock, motown and a little disco. Well our lead singer needs the money, so he's doing a hospital holiday party and a car dealership party with us this weekend and next weekend.

It was funny watching him sing When a Man Loves a Woman, Shake Your Booty and Happy Together during rehearsals. We were running out of stuff he could do, so we are going to do the Sex Pistols' Anarchy in the UK in a Bossa Nova style. I know most of the doctors we'll be playing to and they'll have no idea we're playing that song. We were laughing our collective butts off at rehearsal today. I can't wait to do it Friday night.