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Happynoj
05-08-2007, 01:26 PM
OK, found an awesome trick.

You are doing a gig, but the guitarist is really annoying you. What is the solution to this? During a song, sidle over to him, and just as you hit that really short last chord (you know, the one right at the end of a song, with no sustaining or anything, just straight off) you stomp on his delay pedal. Instead of the usual 'D', you get D, D, d, d, d, d, d, d.

Owned. :D :D :D

Please do not abuse this trick, and don't do it to people you don't know, or if you are being paid to be there...

James Hart
05-08-2007, 01:29 PM
I don't get it

Fassa Albrecht
05-08-2007, 01:46 PM
:bassist: Wait until the interval and then detune his guitar while he isn't looking. Then when you kick off again he'll sound like c**p.
Either that or snip his strings.

Febs
05-08-2007, 01:48 PM
This reminds me of the old joke:

Q. How do you get a guitarist to play quieter?
A. Put music in front of him.

Q. How do you get him to stop?
A. Put notes on it.

SundanceChile
05-08-2007, 02:34 PM
This reminds me of the old joke:

Q. How do you get a guitarist to play quieter?
A. Put blank sheet music in front of him.

Q. How do you get him to stop?
A. Put notes on it.

Fixed it for you. :D

Matt Till
05-08-2007, 07:02 PM
I don't get the whole "I'm at war with my band" thing that happens on TB, I can't wait to see all your behind the music where your guitarist kicked you in the balls.

SundanceChile
05-08-2007, 07:03 PM
I don't get the whole "I'm at war with my band" thing that happens on TB, I can't wait to see all your behind the music where your guitarist kicked you in the balls.

dot dot dot?

Matt Till
05-08-2007, 10:45 PM
dot dot dot?



Buh? I just don't get the "I hate my guitarist" threads. Why be in a band with someone you dislike so much?

SundanceChile
05-08-2007, 11:23 PM
Buh? I just don't get the "I hate my guitarist" threads. Why be in a band with someone you dislike so much?

Gotcha. Most of the time (at least IME) it's bashing on ex-guitar players. Or TB'rs are just over exaggerating. Again. :smug: The two guitarists I work closest with right now are some of the chillest and nicest dudes I know/have had the honor of jamming with. So yeah. :D

Depth_Charge
05-09-2007, 12:52 AM
I jammed with a brilliant drummer and vocalist for 6 months. best music experience ever.

At the 4 month mark, the guitarist's ego clashed so much and he got nowhere for "so long" (a week), he quit.

Sure sometimes it's more descriptive, but letting off a little steam with people who understand can be helpful, and most musicians enjoy the odd whinge among their own :bassist: :bassist: :bassist: :bassist: ? :rollno:. :bassist: :bassist: :hyper:?? :rollno:. :bassist: ?

:bassist: !!

:o :crying: :bawl: .

Happynoj
05-09-2007, 10:21 AM
I don't hate my guitarist. But you know when one of your friends is being deliberately annoying? It was that situation. He stopped annoying me afterwards.

Yngwie 4String
05-09-2007, 11:40 AM
I worked with a guitarist for a few months while I was learning to play. (Actually i consider myself to be always learning) During that time I learned a lot about how music theory and good technique. The problem was though that when started to create music together, he wanted to dominate everything, where I feel a band is a group effort. AND JEES THIS DUDE HAD AN EGO. He would do stuff like quit playing a game or something if he was losing, so he could claim he quit and hadnt actually lost. Little things like that all the time. Eventually I had to call it quits, I tried to do it peacefully, and I thought I had. Then a week later he hacked my myspace account and my msn messenger so I had to get new ones. So yeah I am kinda anti-guitarist right now. However I found a new one to play with who is better, and not an egomaniac. So I hope it goes better.

Foamy
05-09-2007, 11:47 AM
Can't something just be funny to think about? We don't have to actually hate any guitar players, but we could have some fun thinking of sneaky ways to annoy them. There's some enjoyment there without actually hating anybody, right? Some of these things made me laugh.

Webtroll
05-10-2007, 12:36 PM
It's not all guitarists I'm thinking but rather some of them. My old metal band from years ago had a situation where the rythm guitarist was a competent rythm player and that's it, did't know squat about his gear but would repeat things that were told to him as if they were gospel. Once he kept trying to tell me how great the strat he was playing was because someone pointed out the Contour on the headstock sticker. Yes, your strat body is contoured any my Music Man sabre, the lead guitarist's Les Paul and all of the other guitars we had there were mere planks with necks attached.

Yngwie 4String
05-10-2007, 12:51 PM
I think it should be a sort of rule that you can mess with your guitarist as long as you dont mess with the guitar. I get really friggin irate whe ppl touch my bass, its my child. So dont touch the guitar, anything else is all good.

Foamy
05-10-2007, 01:51 PM
I think it should be a sort of rule that you can mess with your guitarist as long as you dont mess with the guitar. I get really friggin irate whe ppl touch my bass, its my child. So dont touch the guitar, anything else is all good.
I second that.

x_Zero_x
05-10-2007, 11:44 PM
yup.. my bass may not be the nicest, but its my baby. I always ask someone if i can touch or play their equipment, i expect them to do the same.

Depth_Charge
05-12-2007, 08:15 AM
Can't something just be funny to think about? We don't have to actually hate any guitar players, but we could have some fun thinking of sneaky ways to annoy them. There's some enjoyment there without actually hating anybody, right? Some of these things made me laugh.
That reminds me of a line from Dead Poets Society. "Can't I even enjoy the idea for a while?". Good movie. Sorry, I digress.

I think it should be a sort of rule that you can mess with your guitarist as long as you dont mess with the guitar. I get really friggin irate whe ppl touch my bass, its my child. So dont touch the guitar, anything else is all good.
Thirded.
I would also include the word GIG in there too. Yeah, don't mess with your bands gig. If I readjusted a strap, moved an axe to my stand so he came out looking for it, or aimed a light in someones face at setup yeah, that might be funny...but if I messed with the sound of the performance, and that went to the crowd and the band found out I did it (which they would, I'm like that), I'd probably get the sack too.

KekChoz
05-12-2007, 10:09 AM
OK, found an awesome trick.

You are doing a gig, but the guitarist is really annoying you. What is the solution to this? During a song, sidle over to him, and just as you hit that really short last chord (you know, the one right at the end of a song, with no sustaining or anything, just straight off) you stomp on his delay pedal. Instead of the usual 'D', you get D, D, d, d, d, d, d, d.

Owned. :D :D :D

Please do not abuse this trick, and don't do it to people you don't know, or if you are being paid to be there...

for a 15-yz-old (like you might be), it would be funny.:hmm:

the_fonz
05-12-2007, 04:58 PM
:bassist: Wait until the interval and then detune his guitar while he isn't looking. Then when you kick off again he'll sound like c**p.
Either that or snip his strings.

did you just censor the word "crap"?

enigmabass
05-12-2007, 05:13 PM
why yes, yes he did

Rumblestiltzkin
05-12-2007, 10:39 PM
I think it should be a sort of rule that you can mess with your guitarist as long as you dont mess with the guitar. I get really friggin irate whe ppl touch my bass, its my child. So dont touch the guitar, anything else is all good.

I understand that this thread is all in good fun, but if my band detuned my bass before a set I would quit right then and there, but AFTER playing as many songs as possible while horribly out of tune, just to make the band sound like crapola. :p

enigmabass
05-13-2007, 06:28 PM
I would probably just kick the **** out of someone and leave

Hoover Johnson
05-17-2007, 12:45 AM
:bassist: Wait until the interval and then detune his guitar while he isn't looking. Then when you kick off again he'll sound like c**p.
Either that or snip his strings.

Sorry dude, but that's got to be one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.

Here's why:
Who's the first person to get dirty looks when the guitar and bass are out of tune??? You're only pranking yourself

Super_Andreas
05-17-2007, 01:07 AM
True dat;
an out of tune band is like broken fingers.. they just won't make pretty music.

I think how crap was censored is hilarious as well.

j-bass-kreep
05-17-2007, 01:39 AM
I've played with some pretty weird or bad guitar players . But the solution is simple I just quit . Or just to piss them off I out-shred them. No need to mess with their gear.

73jbass
05-17-2007, 01:44 AM
I have the opposite problem.I can't get my guitarist to turn his delay pedal off.

FoHBass
05-17-2007, 09:26 AM
Sorry dude, but that's got to be one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.

Here's why:
Who's the first person to get dirty looks when the guitar and bass are out of tune??? You're only pranking yourself

This is true. If someone's out of tune, it definitely can't be the infallible guitar player. :rolleyes:

Fassa Albrecht
05-18-2007, 04:57 PM
This is true. If someone's out of tune, it definitely can't be the infallible guitar player. :rolleyes:

Look, I've actually done this. It works and can actually be quite funny when you have a swearing cursing guitarist wondering why he sounds bad. No-one blamed me either! To think I almost took up drums....

Johnny Crab
05-18-2007, 05:51 PM
Out of tune guitars sound like the Rolling Stones to me.

The guitar player is my brother, GIT graduate, and kicks <deleted expletive>.
NO need to mess with him...just listen, play, and have fun.
Never had it so good...

The other kind?
Drag up and be done with it(QUIT).