When you first get one home, you cant keep your hands off of it.

When you are away from it you constantly think about it.

After a few months you get used to it

After 6 months you start to notice other basses.

After a few years it gets a few dents, scratches, and just isn't as attractive as it was the day you brought it home.

After 10 years you think about trading it in for a newer model.

Feel free to add to the list. My mind was wandering on the way home from work tonight and I thought of this little list. I thought it was pretty funny... =)

it doesnt care how many other basses you've played in the past

it doesnt care if you have multiple basses

Wow, mine sure does . . . ;)

loose strings once a month.

Have front input jack... long neck... beautiful curves...

In fair weather, everything is great, but when the climate changes, they can get all bent out of shape. (no truss on the one that needs it too! :smug:)

I slap them on a daily basis.

Ending up with the wrong one is depressing.

i love the g string

it doesnt care how many other basses you've played in the past

it doesnt care if you have multiple basses
It doesn't care at all. Particularly not about you.

if you don't have one, or have been away from it for too long, you can always just practice and pretend using your hands...

too dirty?

both got a nice low end.

If you know what you are doing- you use your fingers on them.

sometimes you dig in as hard as you can, and with YOUR volume all the way up, getting little sound in response, only to realize its only loud with batteries:rollno:

I slap them on a daily basis.

L0L! Right on Brotha!

[QUOTE=bobm2112;4933173]

After 10 years you think about trading it in for a newer model.


10 years??!!! You're a better, more faithful man than me...

Once you get married, your wife won't let you buy either one.

I slap them on a daily basis.

HAHAHAH!

sometimes you dig in as hard as you can, and with YOUR volume all the way up, getting little sound in response, only to realize its only loud with batteries:rollno:

this made me lol :smug:

I can't belieive anyone hasn't said this yet:

The prettier they are, the more money they cost.
The foreign ones require much more maitenance than the domestic ones.
Waxing makes it smooth and pleasurable.

There was a comedy group on one of those "Comedy Central Presents" a few years ago... Their name escapes me. They were comprised of a guy playing piano, a guy playing acoustic guitar and another guy playing an upright bass. They had a song where they were describing how their instruments were like a lady.

The guy on the piano was very smooth and classy and had all these nice things to say. The guy on the guitar seemed to be doing the same thing until the end where he sings something to the effect of "and let's face it. It's got a hole."

The guy on the upright bass took the cake when he sang: "The upright double bass is like a lady. Its big and fat and likes to be slapped."

When you first get one home, you cant keep your hands off of it.

When you are away from it you constantly think about it.

After a few months you get used to it

After 6 months you start to notice other basses.

After a few years it gets a few dents, scratches, and just isn't as attractive as it was the day you brought it home.

After 10 years you think about trading it in for a newer model.

Feel free to add to the list. My mind was wandering on the way home from work tonight and I thought of this little list. I thought it was pretty funny... =)


There's all different kinds out there!

TD

I can't belieive anyone hasn't said this yet:

The prettier they are, the more money they cost.
The foreign ones require much more maitenance than the domestic ones.
Waxing makes it smooth and pleasurable.

hahahaa thats brilliant !! :hyper:

A Lady is like an Alembic Bass because it was waayy to many knobs and switches to figure out.

this thread is ridiculous. how old are you people??

Some of them have a huge bottom, others a very tight one...

b.

this thread is ridiculous. how old are you people??

I'll be 6 in May :hyper:

i like to finger for long periods of time until i get that nice juicy tone out of them =P

this thread is ridiculous. how old are you people??

:hyper: 12!

A Lady is like an Alembic Bass because it was waayy to many knobs and switches to figure out.

Dont you mean Wal?:p

I wrote a poem for english class thats alot like this. I will find it and post it here in a few days. Fair warning its only so so in quality, it was done the night it was due.

When you find the right one, it's heaven.

the real ones have two F holes

hhahaha my girlfriend is on Talkbass.com now, so I have to watch what I say :D

and for the record, she thinks everyone on TB is strange, lol.

I love my bass, and my lady, to pieces.

I'm 34.

The more money I spend, the louder it gets.

I can play longer with my strap(-)on ;)

:D

Invest wisely, get a set of quality ear plugs.

I can play longer with my strap(-)on ;)

:D

lol, what kind of strap are you using!

:smug:

Wood!

Woman are like amps...

It's best when they are turned on....

Woman are like speaker cabinets...

They weigh a ton and move a lot of air and its takes 2 guys just to...

ok..now I'm just being silly

Live my love for graphite I prefer the artificiality enhanced ones.


Man I can't believe I wrote that :hiding:

You find a great one early in life and hang on to it. Then, twenty years down the road, you realize how much it has increased in value and you are glad you didn't trade it in for a newer model.:cool:

women are like a set of strings:
you have to tear through a thin membrane to get to a new one.
you don't want to be too close to one when they snap or you might end up getting smacked in the face.
the thin ones are easier to play, but the thick ones are louder.
if you don't keep them clean, there's the whole "cheese" issue.

You find a great one early in life and hang on to it. Then, twenty years down the road, you realize how much it has increased in value and you are glad you didn't trade it in for a newer model.:cool:

awwww :smug:

I'm going to borrow this one, if you don't mind, hahah ;)

My basses are male, which is why I have a G&L Tribby

extra long scale girthy neck..... boy is it hard to find strings for him, but when I do, it's sooo worth it.

Some guys prefer it with top and some prefer it topless

You find a great one early in life and hang on to it. Then, twenty years down the road, you realize how much it has increased in value and you are glad you didn't trade it in for a newer model.:cool:

KUDOS DUDE:)
+1

hhahaha my girlfriend is on Talkbass.com now, so I have to watch what I say :D

and for the record, she thinks everyone on TB is strange, lol.

I love my bass, and my lady, to pieces.

STRANGE?? owwww :hyper: the mark of a bassist!!!

Once you get married, your wife won't let you buy either one.

lmfao!

the real ones have two F holes

Now THAT is great!!!!

When I am done using them, I lock them up in the closet.

Other guys like looking at nice pictures of them.

Other guys want them.

STRANGE?? owwww :hyper: the mark of a bassist!!!

hmm, I can live with being strange, as long as I'm cool :cool:

The rich @$$holes always get the beautiful ones and the good, poor people have to settle.

and the good, poor people have to settle.

with Peavey? :ninja:

:pI slap them on a daily basis.

this thread is ridiculous. how old are you people??

23- big whoop wanna fight about it?

Once a month my bass bleeds out of its vagina :rollno:

Once a month my bass bleeds out of its vagina :rollno:

:eyebrow:

HI

Unless guitars lie, cheat, and change their minds 3 times a day, they have nothing in common

Rob

hhahaha my girlfriend is on Talkbass.com now, so I have to watch what I say :D

and for the record, she thinks everyone on TB is strange, lol.

I love my bass, and my lady, to pieces.

nothing is wrong with a little strange from time to time ;)

there are always strings attached. otherwise, all you're left with is wood.

and apparently, boys act like idiots when they see a woman with one.

My bass is nothing like a woman.
My bass is warm and inviting. It sounds great all the time and never shrills that certain visceral ear torture that comes from women. It doesn't tell me what to do, it does what I want. It has never heard of a "honey-do list." I don't have to consult it when I want to buy something; even another bass. It is always ready, willing, and able to be used, touched, plucked, picked, slapped, caressed, held, etc. whenever I feel like it: even if it's 2:00am and I just returned from a bar, stinkin' of booze and in the mood to play because I saw some band with a smokin' bass player. My bass doesn't care if I'm only playing because I saw a hotter, younger, better sounding bass in action.
My bass is content being out on display for my buddies and it is just as content being locked away in a case. It assures me with it's gentle audible kiss when the world is stepping on me. It caresses me with it's song when I feel depressed. When I am down, it lifts me up. When I am sad, it makes me happy. When I am stressed, it offers relief. It is and will always be the better part of who and what I am. It has no opinion, as it's only concern is to be what I need it to be. It can be dirty and low. It can be regal and mighty. It is there, simply to please me. This level of satisfaction is not possible from a woman...
Of course guys, I should tell you that I am a divorced man:D...