Just got back from one, hehe. The school jazz band played the stupidest thing imaginable, a discount clothing convention! People were walking around buying cheap, $12 brands I've never seen or heard of, and we're playing on a stage, about 3/4 the size of my room. After finishing a song we got about 5 people clapping for us. It was pretty bad.....anyone else got a s*** gig story?

2 weeks ago, my band decided to play an acoustic show of our favorite cover songs at the local "open mic night." The sound guy assured us that he would make sure we sounded good. So we quickly set up and check the levels. As soon as our first song starts, we hear this constant humming coming from the PA. The sound guy doesn't do anything about it though... He's more concerned with talking to some girl than doing his job. It wasn't until our 4th song that he finally rechecked everything and had us mixed correctly.

The crowd, which mostly consisted of our friends, didn't seem to mind. They especially liked our acoustic version of the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" :)

I played with a band last summer as a sub for their bass player at a street festival in Chicago. Our opening act was Ronald McDonald, and we were followed by some freak juggling some sort of lizards. The pinnacle of my career!




Herm

My band was on tour in '98 and we had to drive ten hours to this gig at a skate park.To top it off I wa driving the tour mini-van/trailer.Right as we get near the park,I make a wrong turn and manage to get stuck in a field of red clay.It took all the guys in the band to lift the trailer,place wood under the tires,then snail our van out of the mire.Then when we get to our destination,the owner tells us we would only get paid by the door.Needless to say there was a small crowd and a not so cooperative tv crew.If things weren't bad enough,the few people that were there didn't care for us and the tv people kept telling us to turn down our volume.During the 3rd or 4th song our drummer breaks his snare which prompted us to end our set.The sad part was this happened more than once with some variations during the tour.

A local "art" movie theatre scheduled a series where a movie would be shown and a band would play afterwards. The idea was to do things like screen "Nashville" and have a country band play, screen "Amadeus" and have a string quartet play, etc.

Our night came and when the movie ended, the entire audience filed out except for two friends of ours. The management suggested we not bother to play (also we didn't get paid). I was out a couple of hours of my time, gas, $3 in tolls and a $25 parking ticket incurred during the loadin.

Back in high school a band asked me to fill in (there were only like 2 bass players in my high school so besides my band I did a lot of fill-ins) at a benefit they were playing for a nursing home. I said sure (it seems the best gigs come out of doing benefits). Well it turned out to be AT a nursing home. As soon as they wheeled the over-the-hill gang into the room I knew this was going to suck :eek: . After a rock song during which the entire audience (except a couple employees) held their hand over their ears. I said "Do you guys know any standards." We did Suitcase Blues (a guitar player knew the Triumph version) and Misty then called it a night.

I don't get it. These ALL sound like great gigs to me.

Well, I'm not sure this would qualify as a crap gig -- it was really kind of fun, but very different from anything I had ever done before or done since.

When I was playing in a band in Germany, we were hired to play for an American rodeo that was coming through on tour. We were setup right next to the arena, or corral or whatever you call those things. As the rider would come out of the chute, we would play some country number at crazy breakneck speed, and then stop dead when the rider fell off or the horn sounded. By the end of the gig everything (our instruments, amps, PA and us) were covered with a thick layer of dust. Nonetheless, we had a lot of fun doing it. That might have had something to do with the free German beer, though. :)

I played at the grand opening of Office Depot, what goes better with office supplies than jazz band music. That was on trombone, though. I've done some crappy gigs though.

I had my first gig a couple of days ago. Some kids at my school formed a Classic Rock club. So i decided to join since I like that kind of music. They planned to have a lunch time concert. The drummer is the president of the club. They needed a bass player and I play the bass so , why not? The guitarist is a really good musician so he plays the bass, the cello the guitar the piano and other stuff. We only practiced once, so you can imagine how we sounded. I dont know how, but one of my strings broke, so I had to borrow the guitar players bass. so on the day of the concert I had to lug my AMpeg BA-115 to school on the bus. And guess what, the period before lunch it started to rain. We decided to play anyways. our keyboard player chikens out at the last minute. luckily, we played under a covered balcony, so we didn't get too wet, but the audience did. surprisingly, a lot of people came out to watch us play, even in the rain. People told us we played really good. We played really easy songs like Hard Days Night, Sunshine of your love, pinball wizard and house of the rising sun

Crap Gigs huh?

I've had my fair Share!

-In HighSchool, I played Jazz in front of a saucie underwear store in an art mall, $30 for 2hrs on Saturday afternoons.

-Played practically behind a wall in a Cigar Club for Fri. Happy-hours for 4 months, got sick of coughing and getting ripped off by the Shady manager - So We QUIT!

-Driving 2hours to open up for an 80's Dance night and no one really being into a DMB tribute, cuz - yea dumbass DMB wasn't even known in the 80's (that was last week)

I guess the moral is that you have to take the Bad with the Good...

Places not to play, The Roxy(unless your famous and can sell it out) this place and its sister club The Whisky are turnstiles for any band (bad or good) to pay $7.00 per ticket (50 tickets) and get a slot on the bill. My band has been through both turnstiles. The Whisky a gogo was the best of the 2 clubs due to sound quality and access (parking)If your in Los Angeles and you play in a good band check out these clubs Lava Lounge (as seen in the 1st Lit video) or The Gig west L.A. or The Gig Hollywood. The biggest Dive club in Hollywood is The Coconut Teazer. This club however has the best attitude for new bands also a full back line.

The worst gig story I ever came across wasn't
one of my bands, but was a band I was
acquainted with when living in Athens, Ga about
10 years ago.

These guys had gotten their first out of town gig,
playing a homecoming rally at Purdue University
in Indiana - a good 10 or 11 hour drive from
Athens. The day before the gig, they loaded up
the cars and took off to drive up there.

Arrived in W. Lafayette and did some sightseeing.
Got a motel room. Next day, went over to see
what was happening at the football stadium as
Purdue was playing some cheeseoid creampuff
knockover for homecoming that afternoon, and
then they were playing a big party after the
game.

They got to the stadium 2 hours before game
time and found the parking lots totally empty.

Some headscratching and a quick Q&A session
gave them the information they needed: that
they were exactly one weekend late for their
big homecoming gig at Purdue. Got in the cars,
drove back to Athens. I thought this was
absolutely hilarious, personally.

Scott

We were booked at this club a few months ago. We show up at our usual time, and there is a class reunion going on..............the class of 45 if I can remember correctly. Even though their reunion was officially over, they continued staying there chatting. So we hit the stage. We started into our usual set. Stuff like Roadhouse Blues and what not. Then about 3 or 4 songs, one of these old fogies (No offense to old people, but this dude ticked me off) comes up with a note saying that "We would like to finish our conversations so would you please turn down or quit". We quit for about 45 minutes, and then went back up and played the rest of the night. There was no energy there and we had to pull out some old Du-wop tunes. The club commander didn't show up until we were tearing down. The next night was homecoming and he wanted to know if we would play that night, so we said sure. The next night was a complete oppisite. The usually crowd for the place, digging our music, and we played a great show. (And it's great getting paid twice the amount you were expecting :D )

Originally posted by BWB



...they were exactly one weekend late for their
big homecoming gig at Purdue. Got in the cars,
drove back to Athens.
Scott

Could have been worse -- if they had been a week early they would have had to turn around and make the same trip all over again the following weekend! :p

Everyone has a crap gig story. The thing to do in a bad gig situation is turn to yourselves and play for the reasons you wandered into music in the first place. If you play simply for the love of playing, you can get past the "bad gig" syndrome. They are going to happen eventually, so just learn to get by them.

gweimer called it... play for yourself and they are never that bad. I've had a few that I'd like to share for humor sake...

Worst load in - snowboard comp. in La Grande OR. Out of the van onto a snow cat... up the hill... then 30 yards through the snow to a tarp on the snow... :(

Wierdest audience - Missoula Montana - One crazy homeless looking guy showed up. We played the entire set watching him do Karate moves in front of the stage! :confused:

Everyone left - Under Acme in NYC. Everyone left, the sound guy, the bartender, the other bands, the entire audience. It was like the bugs bunny cartoon when you can hear crickets between songs.

I had a lot of fun at all of those shows... and the band played really well!!!!


:D

Originally posted by jbandbabyj
Everyone left, the sound guy, the bartender, the other bands, the entire audience. It was like the bugs bunny cartoon when you can hear crickets between songs.

We played one about five years ago like that.It was during a snowstorm,so there couldnt have been more than two people there,and they didnt stay long.Worse yet was the sound guy was passed out behind the board(he had his own private "snowstorm" earlier in the evening)and he started puking all over himself.So while the bartender and owner carried him outside to get some fresh air,we played to an empty house with the sound and lights on autopilot.

On the plus side we all left the show with money in our pockets.

at my crappy gig we played great but there was no-one there, I mean no one (not even the "band wives"). We set up to play at this local bar that was relatively new and the owner said we would get the door plus tips and free beer. What we didn't realize (until we got their and the owner told us) was that it was the first day of the local university (30,000 students)Fall Break. We had even publicized the show a lot by putting up a ton of posters around town So we set up and started playing to a completely empty room, basically hoping that someone would hear us and come on in.
We were set to play all night (about 2.5 to 3 hours - 3 sets). We figured hey, we're bound to get someone in here when we start playing so we played on. After about the 3rd song with no one coming in we just decided to screw around and play most of our songs, but just make up new words as we went along abut playing to an empty room. This went on for most of the night, but it was fun doing complete improv and getting free beer. We ended up cutting a set out of the gig and cutting a lot of other songs out, but we didn't care. It was just like a practice on a stage. The owner did like us though (even though he didn't stay in the room with the stage to watch us :( )
But after about 4 or 5 beers we didn't care. So I guess it wasn't a "bad" gig, just empty :D

-KB

Hahaha....fun gig story.

It was at my highschool for Jazz Band.

Me, the guitarist, the keyboard, and the drummer (basically the entire rythem section) all had gotten drunk a few hours before the show... so we were almost no the hangover. Set starts... and we play 2 songs. Principle wants us to stop for a sec, he says a speech for a half hour, than we play again. (This is at Back to School Nite...allthe parents are there)

After done with the speech we play....now the entire rythem section is feeling like crap..... our keyboard turns around and throws up, hitting ALL the keys...LoL

I start missing frets like hell...hitting the wrong notes.. Guitarist knocks over music stand, and fumbles with cables, unplugging us. Takes us 2 songs to figure everything out.

Than we play one mroe song and are supposed to stop. By now the entier band is cracking up. Entire band stops playing after last song, and Principle is supposed to stop.

Well I decide I'm going to play the next song in the setlist, cause the guitar is tripping me out going "1, 2, 3, 4!" so i play...and the keyboard follows suit.

Yes...it was bad.

But hell yea...it was fun!

Holy Hell this is an old thread! Well, had a gig with MY band last night at a Barnes & Noble in Missouri...we were only supposed to play a 10 minute spot, but because the guy behind us didn't show, they let us play for about 45 minutes. Very smooth. :cool:

Well, the only gigs I've really played were with my high school jazz band, and for this wacked-out church youth thingy.

First off, the church youth thingy- We began rehearsals actually the day before the thing, because the band was made up of local musicians who'd never played together before. Luckily, the drummer was a pro. At any rate, I show up for the church thingy in my black t-shirt with the red Anarchy logo on it, black lipstick, and my spiked wristbands. I haven't even set up yet and I'm nearly laughing my rear off.

Then I pull out my "beware of dog" bass, which makes a scene in and of itself; everybody has to step up and read it, and then I have to explain what all the stickers mean. I had no sheet music or chord charts for the crap praise-and-worship songs we were supposed to do, so I stood up really close to this chick keyboardist and made up lines off the chord symbols in her piano music. Worked out great, but I'm sure she was a little freaked out by the time the whole thing was over with. Plus, one of my goofy-ass stoner buddies was playing harmonica during the whole thing, off in his own little "harmonica world," and playing stuff that didn't go along with the rest of the crap. He had a mic, too, so that was really interesting...

Jazz Band- My best Jazz Band gig was at this four-school festival thing. I nailed all my lines and someone told me later that I was the best bassist there. (Which didn't take much...one band had a keyboardist for a bassist [pet peeve...], and another played "summertime blues" all in a herky-jerky power chord format...wa-hoo.)

Oh, and then there was this other time at a church youth thingy where I sat in for the bassist while everybody was down in the basement having cookies and juice...we played a perfect version of "brain stew" (tough tough tough) and I got to noodle around awhile and look impressive.

And I never got paid for a single bit of the above. I played because I love playing, and because somebody was letting me. I can't wait to get into another band and do this stuff all the time.

i went into this thread thinking i'm the world's unluckiest bass players, and having read everyone's stories, i feel a bit overwhelmed (or is it underwhelmed?) having to write my pathetic crap-gig stories, but here goes...

we used to play at this place which let about 10 local bands play every monday night... since we don't play nu-metal, we were always shoved on last, and since they were our first ever gigs, we always kinda sucked (in these days, we didn't even have a drummer, so nirvana and nofx covers didn't work very well)... then one night, even though we were promised a gig, the band playing before us played breed, by nirvana, then wrecked the joint, drums went flying, amps with fat holes and sparks flying from them, everything went mad. so, to make up for our inconvenience, the sound guy guaranteed us an earlier gig the next week... it was like revenge on all the assholes who walked out on us every week, 'cos they had to sit through the mental tortue of listening to us, while waiting for the other bands to come on. muhaha

simon a

We played at a dive bar on a weekday, so we weren't expecting a huge turnout to begin with. And there were about maybe 6 regulars drooling in their beers the whole night who didn't even realize we were playing. The only people in the 'crowd' that even acknowledged us were these two homeless guys sitting at a table up front probably pretending to be interested so they could stay inside, but the owner went and kicked them out anyway.

my turn -

me & my cheesy r'n'b cover band played last june for the Fete de la Musique, an event which takes place every year in France.

the venue was the main hall of the Court of Justice of paris - the band is sponsored by the bar association. imagine something the size of the grand central station with just the same acoustics. :eek: i don't know who on earth thought this was a good place to set up a bandstand.

i remember hitting my first note during soundcheck (ho ho ho soundcheck he said) and the sound was revolving around my head like nothing i've ever heard in my entire life. wow i thought the sound guys were playing tricks on me with their flashy hi end lexicon stuff, but no, they really couldn't do anything about it.

during the entire set i couldn't hear a single note the horns played, no singer, nothing, i was standing against my amp close to the drummer and thinking 'another 10 minutes and were through'.

the positive side of is that at least the audience didn't notice HOW CRAP WE WERE AH AH AH AH. :D

(i know for sure cause the band that played after us sounded horrible despite their being a decent jazz ensemble with good vocalists).