BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[ ] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[ ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[ ] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ] Playing audibly $25
[ ] Faking changes $25
[ ] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ] Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[ ] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[ ] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[ ] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[ ] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[ ] Practicing scales during break $25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[ ] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

notduane,

I've been looking for that! I saw it in the TBL archives once and could never find it again. Thanks for posting it. I must owe a grand in eighth notes alone. Thank God I don't play fretless. :)

By the way, isn't FIX (the band) going to be playing at the palindrome soon? :D

[Edited by lump on 12-26-2000 at 05:42 AM]

Originally posted by lump
notduane,
I've been looking for that! I saw it in the TBL archives once and could never find it again. Thanks for posting it. I must owe a grand in eighth notes alone. Thank God I don't play fretless. :)
De nada, dude. I was lookin' to change my signature since Xmas is now over.
I entered "musician jokes" at http://www.dogpile.com hopin' to find a good one-liner.
I found this ticket form at, uh, "another" bass site :eek: ( http://www.activebass.com ).
I thought y'all would enjoy it.
HAY! Wait a dang minute! I play fretless! :D:p;)
This was my favorite...
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
By the way, isn't FIX (the band) going to be playing at the palindrome soon? :D :rolleyes:

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[X] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[X] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[X] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[X] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15What hair?:D
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X] Achieving last word on final chord $100

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[X] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[X] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[X] Sitting behind drums on break $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[X] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[X] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[X] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[X] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[X] Playing written-out walking line $50
[X] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[X] Playing eighth notes $5 each - uh...let's just say $500 ;)
[X] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each - uh...let's just say $1000 :rolleyes:
[X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal - dammit, now I don't have a gig to pay these fines with ;)
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[ ] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000


ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ] Playing with a pick $50
[X] Tuning during ballad $30
[X] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[X] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[X] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[X] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[X] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[X] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[X] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[X] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[X] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 - 2 custom made 6's = $400 :eek:
[X] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[x] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[X] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[X] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[X] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[X] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[X] Practicing scales during break $25
[X] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[X] Practicing $150
[X] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[X] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

...I'm declaring bankruptcy!!!! I just added up my fines, and it's $3830 :eek: :rolleyes: I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!! :D

....I wonder how JT'd come out on the fines, 'specially the custom made multi string fretless ones ;)

well, let's just find out, shall we? :D

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50 :rolleyes:
[X] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[XXXX] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each

what about 32nds? and triplet 16ths and 32nds?


[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal :D
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[x] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[x] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25 - experimenting? shoot, we live there :D

[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[x] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[x] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[XXX] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[XXXXXXX] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[XXXX] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[XXXX] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[XXXX] Bringing fretless bass $500



hey, what about doublenecks - they don't even have a punishment for that offense :D


CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[x] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing $150
[x] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20


how bout an old rush shirt?


[X] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 make that HELL YEAH! ;)
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50

So what's wrong with a long gliss into the last note?

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[x] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[x] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[x] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[x] Failure to play written walking line $75
[x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[x] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[x] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[x] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[x] Dragging fast tempo $75
[x] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[x] Blacking out during ballad $200
[x] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[x] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[x] Playing audibly $25
[x] Faking changes $25
[x] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[x] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[x] Asking leader for a solo $30
[x] Accepting solo when offered $50
[x] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[x] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[x] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[x] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[x] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[x] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[x] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[x] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[x] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[x] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[x] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[x] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[x] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[x] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[x] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[x] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[x] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Dang...that's alotta money...crap! I'm not yet violating the Fretless, and Custom bass above four, but I'm working on both...Heck, I even violated some upright, and I don't play it but once or twice a year!

[Edited by Brendan on 12-27-2000 at 05:46 PM]

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: ___________________________
INFRACTION DATE: ____________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X ] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[X ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[X ] Playing written-out walking line $50
[X ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[X ] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[X ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[X ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[XXXX ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[X ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[X ] Following drummer's tempo $250




ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[X ] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[X ] Playing with a pick $50
[X ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[X ] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[X ] Achieving last word on final chord $100

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[X ] Using electric tuner $15
[XX ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[X ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[X ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[X ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[X ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[X ] Practicing $150



$1945.00

Do you guys take Visa ??

Will you accept old bass equipment in lieu of cash?

Oh, what is the penalty for starting a song in the wrong key?

Jason Oldsted

:eek:

I hate it when that happens!

BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: furtim
INFRACTION DATE: multiple

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X ] Playing loudly during warm up $10 - Loud = warmed. :)
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 - Not this one, thank God!
[X ] Loud cursing after mistake $10 - This one doesn't say "per offence", so I'm gonna assume / pray that it's a one-time fee...
[X ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20 - Helps to hide the mistake. ;)
[X ] Playing written-out walking line $50 - Sorry.
[X ] Failure to play written walking line $75 - If you had let me improvise it, I would have at least played what I meant to!
[X ] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[X ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[X ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal - DAMN!
[X ] Dragging fast tempo $75 - What if I'm just correcting the drummer, though?
[X ] Dragging ballad tempo $100 - See next mark.
[X ] Blacking out during ballad $200 - This is why I always try to load up on caffeine before playing... and even that's not always enough.
[X ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100 - Is this still an infraction is he's wrong?
[X ] Following drummer's tempo $250 - What if he's right? :(
[X ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000 - Jeeze, so I'm no good at memorising!

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[X ] Playing audibly $25
[X ] Faking changes $25 - What if I'm faking a written line? I'll just file that under this one...
[X ] Excessive sweating $25 - Hell, I do that on the BG, too!
[X ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100 - I'm not wrong... THE SYSTEM IS WRONG!

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[X ] Checking hair between tunes $15 - But it has to look its best!
[X ] Tuning during ballad $30 - Those whole measure root notes really give you alot of time for such things...
[X ] Attempting last word on final chord $50 - Call me narcissistic!
[X ] Achieving last word on final chord $100 - Call me persistent!
[X ] Long gliss down to final note $200 - Haven't before, but now I think I have to...

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[X ] Using electric tuner $15 - You use the tools you get, eh?
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[X ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
- If these last two are cumulative (i.e., extra strings on extra basses are also counted), it seems that JT will be financing our national debt...
[X ] Bringing fretless bass $500 - I plan to violate this one (and the previous) soon.

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[X ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[X ] Practicing scales during break $25 - Gotta do it some time...
[X ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50 - So why not do it when noone will notice?
[X ] Practicing $150 - Sorry. :(

BASIC STUPIDITY
[X ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25 - Hey, I wanna know!
[X ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 - But only because I can't roar too well. ;)

I owe $3360. And that's not even counting the eigth and sixteenth notes!

Furtim,

ROFLMAO PIP - changed 'em - PIP again!

:):):)

Good times!!! :D

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER:
Jojo_____________________
INFRACTION DATE:
9/23/02__________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[x] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[x] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[x.?] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[x.?] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[x] Dragging fast tempo $75
[x] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000



ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25 (experimenting? i did a whole 16 minute jam in 9/8!)
[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[x] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[ ] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[ ] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[x] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[x] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[x] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[ ] Practicing scales during break $25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[x] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[x] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100


oh man.. i can't even (or wanna) do the math

Originally posted by embellisher
:eek: I hate it when that happens!Not as much as our singer hated me when I did it! Should have been C, I started in G. The rest of the guys looked bewildered but quickly adjusted. Oh, she tried very hard to sing anyway going both up and down octaves, but we had to stop the song after one verse. She's still whispering "the right key now!" every time we do that song... :D

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: Gunnar Þór
INFRACTION DATE: 23/09/2002

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[X] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[X] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[X] Failure to play written walking line $75
[X] Playing eighth notes $5 each (Ooh, boy. Let's make it $1000)
[X] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each (Let's just say $750)
[X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200
[X] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[X] Following drummer's tempo $250

UPRIGHT PLAYERS (Don't play uprigth, but have defenetly violated some of these)
[X] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[X] Playing audibly $25
[X] Faking changes $25
[X] Slapping $150
[X] Accepting solo when offered $50

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[X] Checking hair between tunes $15
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[X] Playing with a pick $50

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[X] Using electric tuner $15

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[X] Practicing scales during break $25
[X] Practicing $150
[X] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10


Total: $3035. :eek:

NAME OF OFFENDER: Stupid Matt
INFRACTION DATE: All the time

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[X] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[X] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[X] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line $50
[X] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[X] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[X] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[X] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[X] Checking hair between tunes $15
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[X] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[X] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[X] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[X] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[X] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[X] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[X] Practicing scales during break $25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[X] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100



Ouch, that cost me.

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: Justin______________________
INFRACTION DATE:
9-27-02____________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[X] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[X] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line $50
[X] Failure to play written walking line $75
[X] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[XXXX] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[XXXXXXXX] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[X] Dragging fast tempo $75
[X] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200
[X] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[X] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[X] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[X] Playing with a pick $50
[X] Tuning during ballad $30 When else am I supposed to? :confused:
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[X] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[X] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[X] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[X] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[X] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[X] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[X] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[X] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[X] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[X] Practicing scales during break $25
[X] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[X] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[X] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Hmm Notduane.... I just forked out $1000 to have my car fixed.. this'll cripple me... you'll get your damn registration later :p

:D:D

Merls

Why would i have to tick almost all of them? is it because i am a youth into death metal? heehee

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: James______________________
INFRACTION DATE:
All the time____________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[x] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[x] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[x] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[x] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ] Playing audibly $25
[ ] Faking changes $25
[ ] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ] Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[ ] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[x] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[x] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[x] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[x] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100


At least $1760, and that's if the 8th and 16th note fines are one offs.....:eek:

Originally posted by Brendan


Dang...that's alotta money...crap! I'm not yet violating the Fretless, and Custom bass above four, but I'm working on both...Heck, I even violated some upright, and I don't play it but once or twice a year!

[Edited by Brendan on 12-27-2000 at 05:46 PM]

well there's blacking out during ballads, but what about blacking out during the death-metal finale?








ouch!

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: _____'brad________
INFRACTION DATE: _________???______________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[XXX] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[x] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[] Failure to play written walking line $75
[] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[?] Playing eighth notes $5 each-who doesn't?
[?] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each-just don't get it...
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal-my band likes it!
[x] Dragging fast tempo $75
[] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[] Blacking out during ballad $200
[] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000-have the feeling i won't need to!

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[] Tuning during ballad $30
[] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[] Forgetting strap $10
[] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50-NOT YET!
[x] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[] Skull decals on bass $150
[] Bringing fretless bass $500-again, NOT YET!

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[] Asking bone player about their day gig $10-no 'boners to make fun of this year!
[] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[] Practicing $150
[] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[x] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

so...carry the one...$815, not including notes, which everyone plays.

Lets see here...

NAME OF OFFENDER: ____Bigfeet________________
INFRACTION DATE: _______10/01/02_______________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[/] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[/] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[/] Playing written-out walking line $50
[/] Failure to play written walking line $75
[/] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[/] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[/] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[/] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[/] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[/] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ] Playing audibly $25
[ ] Faking changes $25
[ ] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ] Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[/] Checking hair between tunes $15
[/] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[/] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[/] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[/] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[/] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[/] Using electric tuner $15
[/] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[/] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[/] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[/] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[/] Practicing scales during break $25
[/] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[/] Practicing $150
[/] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[/] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

=$1485 + immediate dismissal

*rips up ticket and drives off*

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: lneal
INFRACTION DATE: Every Night.

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[X] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[X] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[X] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[X] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[X] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25(I always ask for A)
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[X] Playing written-out walking line $50
[X] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[XXXXXXXXXXXX] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX....] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[X] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[X] Blacking out during ballad $200(Does watching the TV's on the bar's walls count?)
[X] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[X] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[XXXXXXXX] Checking hair between tunes $15
[X] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[XXXXXX] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[X] Playing with a pick $50(Only on "Imitation Leather Shoes")
[X] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[X] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[X] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[X] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[XXXXX] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[X] Using electric tuner $15
[X] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[X] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[X] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[X] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[X] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[X] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[X] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[X] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[X] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25(Does "Silly Putty" count?)
[X] Practicing scales during break $25
[X] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[X] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[X] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[X] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: iplaybass
INFRACTION DATE: last night

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[x] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line $50
[ ] Failure to play written walking line $75
[ ] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[x] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[x] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[ ] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[ ] Playing audibly $25
[ ] Faking changes $25
[ ] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[ ] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo $30
[ ] Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[ ] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[ ] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[ ] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[ ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[x] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[ ] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[x] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[x] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[x] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Somewhere around $1750 :D Fun gig last night. Yeah! Eh... make that 1800. :D

Originally posted by notduane
[B]BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: __________Tufnuts_________________
INFRACTION DATE: __________ALWAYS__________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[/ ] Playing loudly during warm up $10

[/ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25

[/ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20

[/ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20

[/ / / / / / ] Playing eighth notes $5 each (Parallel Universe
[/ / / / / / ] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each (See above)
[/ ] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal (Can't shake it)

[/ ] Following drummer's tempo $250

ELECTRIC PLAYERS

[/ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25

[/ ] Playing with a pick $50

[/ ] Attempting last word on final chord $50

[/ ] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC

[/ ] Using electric tuner $15

[/ / / / ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50

[/ / ] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass

[/ ] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE

[/ ] Practicing $150


BASIC STUPIDITY

[/ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20 (Who doesn't?)


$1635 w/o the 8th and 16th. No mention of 32nds? Nothing about fudging up triplets? What about bad inotation?

Me and my whitesnake shirt are going home.

Hey... Where's the offence for turning off everyone's amps except the bass at solo time?


:D

Originally posted by notduane
BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: TRASH_BAGS
INFRACTION DATE: At large since 1994

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[x] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[x] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[x] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[x] Failure to play written walking line $75
[x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[x] Dragging fast tempo $75
[x] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[x] Blacking out during ballad $200
[x] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[x] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
[x] Showing up before first downbeat $25
[x] Playing audibly $25
[x] Faking changes $25
[ ] Slapping $150
[ ] Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
[x] Excessive sweating $25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
[x] Asking leader for a solo $30
[x] Accepting solo when offered $50
[ ] Taking second chorus $100
[ ] Playing solo arco $400
[xxxxxx] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[x] Checking hair between tunes $15
[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[x] Tuning during ballad $30
[x] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[x] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[x] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[x] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[x] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[x] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[x] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[x] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[x] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[xxxxxxxxx] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[x] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[x] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[x] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100

Well, so much for rent and food and stuff.

[XXXXX] - Oweing this dude 1,000,000$ - Priceless

There are some thing money can buy, for everything else theres Moms paycheck

Moms paycheck- everywhere you want to be

BASS PLAYER OFFENSES

NAME OF OFFENDER: Brandon
INFRACTION DATE: Nov. 9

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
<b>[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10 </b>
<b>[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 </b>
<b>[X] Loud cursing after mistake $10</b>
<b>Oops....</b>
<b>[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20 </b>
<b>[x] Playing written-out walking line $50 </b>
<b>Well.. you have to do <i>something</i>during Geometry...</b>
<b>[x] Failure to play written walking line $75 </b>
[ ] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
<b>That drives me crazy! Count in your <i>head!</i><b>
<b>[ ] Playing eighth notes $5 each <b>
Uh oh.. :rolleyes:
<b>[x] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each </b>
<b>[x] Dragging fast tempo $75 </b>
<b>[x] Dragging ballad tempo $100 </b>
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
<b>I <i>zone</i> out....</b>

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
<b>[x] Checking hair between tunes $15 </b>
<b>[x] Experimenting with odd meters $25 </b>
[ ] Playing with a pick $50
<b>I tried. I can't. So now I have no feeling in a few of the tips my fingers. Literally. </b>
<b>[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50 </b>
<b>[x]Achieving last word on final chord $100</b>
<b>[x] Long gliss down to final note $200 </b>

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[ ] Forgetting strap $10
<b>Always in case.</b>
<b><i>[x] Using electric tuner $15 </i></b>
<b>I'm sorry... I'm sorry...</b>
<b><i>[x] Forgetting to turn amp on $40 </b></i>
<b>I <i>always</i> forget.</b>
<b>[x] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50 </b>
Got 2 in the basement. Black Widows. 2 18" and a 10" I think. Dad told me the specs once.
<b>[x] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 </b>
<b>Nothing over 4.</b>
<b>[X] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass </b>
<b>Peavey T-40 and Fender Jazz.</b>
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
<b>ROFL. Just a Garfield sticker. .. yes, the cat.</b>

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
<b>[x] Practicing $150 </b>
<b>Every day, baby.</b>
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
<b>I tried. Still can't play acoustic. But that was because I was like.. "dang, I can play this on my bass." So I did.. and forgot about it.. and then remembered and put it up. I love bass, not acoustic, sorry.</b>

BASIC STUPIDITY
<b>[x] Continually asking "where are we?" $25 </b>
<b>I do that all the time anyway...</b>
<b>[X] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 </b>
<b>Guilty in the 3rd degree.</b>

I don't have that much, lol. Haven't earned my allowance in a long time hehe.

I'm a punk bassist,
the eighth notes alone put me in the red!


Guess I'll be wearin' a barrel for the next coupla weeks.

So, what is the fine for the DRUMMER to borrow the Real Book for "All of Me?"

I would think at the very least an hour in a dunking chair:D :D

MUSICAL OFFENSES FINES:
[x] Playing loudly during warm up $10
[x] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
[x] Loud cursing after mistake $10
[x] Playing high and fast after mistake $20
[ ] Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note $25
[x] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
[x] Playing written-out walking line $50
[x] Failure to play written walking line $75
[x] Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
[x] Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
[x] Playing eighth notes $5 each
[x] Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
[x] Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
[ ] Dragging fast tempo $75
[x] Dragging ballad tempo $100
[ ] Blacking out during ballad $200
[x] Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
[x] Following drummer's tempo $250
[ ] Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
[ ] Checking hair between tunes $15
[ ] Experimenting with odd meters $25
[x] Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
[x] Playing with a pick $50
[ ] Tuning during ballad $30
[ ] Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
[ ] Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
[x] Attempting last word on final chord $50
[x] Achieving last word on final chord $100
[x] Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
[x] Forgetting strap $10
[ ] Changing strings after every set $15
[x] Using electric tuner $15
[ ] Setting up mic "just in case" $75
[x] Forgetting to turn amp on $40
[ ] Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
[ ] Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
[ ] Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
[x] Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
[ ] Skull decals on bass $150
[x] Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig $10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break $10
[ ] Quoting "Birdland" $25
[x] Practicing scales during break $25
[x] Practicing scales during drum solo $50
[x] Practicing $150
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
[ ] Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $10

BASIC STUPIDITY
[ ] Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
[ ] Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
[ ] Asking when the rock set starts $20
[x] Continually asking "where are we?" $25
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
[ ] Asking bone player where "1" is $50
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's $100


i dont even wanna know how much i owe!