I take in recovering pedals, which range from over-fuzzing in the streets to echoing to themselves in a corner. Please help them find a loving, caring environment to continue blossoming into the fine, upstanding pedals i know they can be.
First up, for
$SOLD, is the lovely Vox Wah. He appeared to have been brandished by a gang leader named "Guttermouth" who specializes in changing perfectly good guitar pedals into pedals working better with bass frequencies. The wah appears to be satisfied with his new appearance, so we have not tried to reverse the damage done. He was originally spotted at a Grateful Dead concert at Mrs. Kitties tent, seemingly addicted to grass.
We found him under the bleachers in a sleeping bag at the concert and brought him in, hoping for a full recovery.
This poor
Behringer BDI-21 ($25) is the victim of a gambling addiction. We were writing a story on the dangers of gambling, when lo and behold, we came across this poor addict gambling his presence and blend knobs away when he only had 5's high at the high stakes poker table.
This
Boss DS-1 ($SOLD) is also a victim of the gang-leader Guttermouth, having been brandished by his traditional modification sticker. It appears that a traditional Keeley mod schematic was used, though this particular DS-1 had a hankering for bass, so some parts were changed. He now holds his low-end better, but still works on guitars the same way he always did, just with much more ass for both guitars and basses. This may be one of our more tragic discoveries, as he was found in an alley, living in a box...
He was seen driving off in a limo with a rather large black man, believed to be Samuel L Jackson, and was later found passed out in an alley. We believe he has been selling himself in exchange for certain products.
An
EBS Multicomp ($SOLD) stumbled across our door one day, willing to seek help. After introductory rehabilitation, he fell off the wagon and was found hiding in his usual hiding place. T3ch's Beer Fridge is a club notorious for safehousing alcoholics, thugs, and Canadians.
When we tried to approach him to come back to the recovery center, he ran off and was found when the fire department was informed of a person on the ledge of Wine Towers. He demanded a pallet of Mickey's 40oz, a helicopter, and some Schlitz for the ride. Unfortunately for him, he was too intoxicated to properly negotiate, and he willingly jumped into the big inflatable mat that was laid out, because "it totally looked fun, dude".
Our last pedal for adoption is a wonderful pedal who denies having any problems, though he displays a very obvious addiction to 1-ups. This poor
Flashback Fuzz ($35) is living in the past. In his prime, he was a studio drummer for many funk and disco bands in the 60's and 70's. You can see him at work in the following photo...
Success went to his head and his debt to 1-up dealers exceeded his earnings. We found him cuddled up in an alley next to his latest purchase. He is currently 5 months sober.
I'm sure there are plenty of loving, caring people in the continental US for these pedals to go to. We're running out of room at the Pedal Recovery Institute in DC, please lend a hand. Help better our society while receiving a valuable new friend.
Great ad - you had me rolling this morning! Thanks!
Bass is the foundation of my life...
