My phone rang this morning. It was Richard from INDIA! He was just calling to tell me that my computer had a virus and was about to crash. I said "What are we going to do Richard man?" He told me to turn on my computer and he'd help me fix it in no time. I told him I had a dandy feed of bacon and eggs on the go and I wasn't really in the mood to get on the computer. He warned me against waiting to fix it as the problem would shag up the computer even worse. I said "Is your name really Richard?" Yes he said. To which I replied "I think you're lying to me Richard. Something is telling me that you're full of sh!t." He left me with one final warning "Well your computer is going to crash. Good-bye!" Good-bye Richard. I'm going to miss you.