parenting and practicing

[kingbiscuitpant]

First and foremost my family is my highest priority and I’m cool with that; at the same time doing artistic endeavors are a big part of my personality and are what gives me the most personal satisfaction.

For example I currently have committed to a reasonable project which entails composing and recording one bass line a week for my friend Nick’s latest album. The problem is being able to sit and play without my 2 younger children bugging the piss out of me. Even if I’m locked away in my bedroom I hear the tell tale call of children about to do something dangerously stupid and off I have to go to save the day. And that doesn’t include the general hours of home maintanance.

Now at night when my wife gets home from work I try to spend some time with her because she has such rotten hours (5am to 6pm M-F & Sun) then my mission is making sure the kids don’t wake her up.

I suppose that’s why when you read so many biographies of great artists they tend to have been such ****** parents overall; it’s the only way it seems to get things done.

[TXArchitect]

What do they love to do more than anything (it has to be an inside activity)? Watch Barney videos? Play Mario Brothers? Draw?

I suggest that you make an agreement with them; they EARN the right to have an hour of uninterrupted activity time each day if, and only if, they make full use of it (for older kids, you might add stuff like "and they've finished thier homework, or done their chores, or simply changed or bathed...). Do not mention that they must leave you alone. Stress merely that, if they truly value their special activity, then they will pursue it, and it alone, for the specified period. If they wander off, or pursue OTHER actvities during the SPECIAL ACTIVITY TIME, then they LOSE their activity time for the next day (or two). For this to work, the "special activity" must be available to them ONLY DURING THIS DEFINED TIME; if they can play it later, your leverage is shot.

The trick is to make it ALL ABOUT THEM, and NOT AT ALL ABOUT YOU. It is like telling someone not to scratch; all they have in their mind after that is the idea of scratching...so DO NOT mention yourself or your activities to them, or they will be thinking about YOU and not their own activities.

If they are very young, you may have to have a collection of "acceptable" activities, but the AREA in which they can be enjoyed must be strictly defined, and rules about trips to the bathroom or for snacks must be clear and firm (I'd advise potty before activity and snacks only before or after).

This approach will be a great learning experience for homework habits later...

And, I think it will solve your practice problem, because they will be so fixated on preserving their personal activity rights, they won't chance losing them by bugging you.

Let me know.

[kingbiscuitpant]

good idea i was thinking asking them "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"