The Ten Commandments Of Bass Amp Ownership

[Bassman316]

This is freaking awesome.

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by BurningSkies

Might as well get this over with....

The Lord is my drummer; I shall not rush.
He maketh me to rest in tasteful spots;
He leadeth me beside cool meter changes;
He restoreth my "one".
He leadeth me in the right repeats
For His name's sake.

Yea, though I read through the trickiest road maps,
I will fear no train wrecks;
For You are with it;
Your ride and Your snare, they comfort me.

You setteth up a solo for me
In the presence of mine guitarists;
You annointeth my lines with drive;
My groove overflows.

Surely good feel and swing will follow me
All the tunes of each set;
And I will dwell in the pocket
The whole gig long.

Absolutely priceless. A true classic...

MM

[JimmyM]

Originally Posted by levis76

7) Thou shalt lock it in the pocket and provide all with foundation who hath none
8) Thou shalt follow thy drummer and not stray from his beat nor his groove

Thou shalt shoot thyself in thine head before following these commandments.

The pocket is good sometimes, but other times thine bandmates need to provide a pocket so thou can rock.

And do not follow the drummer, lest he lead thou into ruination and hellfire. The bass, being good, shall do the leading, and the drums shall follow, though thou shalt not tell the drummer, for his ego is larger than his brain.

[JanusZarate]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

And do not follow the drummer, lest he lead thou into ruination and hellfire. The bass, being good, shall do the leading, and the drums shall follow, though thou shalt not tell the drummer, for his ego is larger than his brain.

I thought that's why we didn't follow the guitarists?

[pgk]

thou shall play Bass, not treble

[BassmanPaul]

Thou shalt not equate a 5881 with a 6L6GC!

Paul

[ulrich]

Thou shalt use only speaker cables to connect speakers.
Thou shalt use balanced, and unbalanced signal cables, corectly, as detailed in the holy document: Rane Note 110.
Thou shalt not use the term "ohmage."

[derrenleepoole]

Thou shall abstain from G.A.S..... (yeah right!)

[Jaco who?]

Thou shalt have enough sense to notice when one is veiwing threads as lame as this one, it is then time to go offline and practice.

[The Growler]

Originally Posted by JimmyM

And do not follow the drummer, lest he lead thou into ruination and hellfire. The bass, being good, shall do the leading, and the drums shall follow, though thou shalt not tell the drummer, for his ego is larger than his brain.

Priceless Jimmy

Thank you

[bassybill]

Originally Posted by Jaco who?

Thou shalt have enough sense to notice when one is veiwing threads as lame as this one, it is then time to go offline and practice.

Amen.

[NorCal Dog]

Originally Posted by pgk

thou shall play Bass, not treble

AMEN brutha

[jokerjkny]

Originally Posted by jbassbob

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors bass.

or at least in this lounge, "amp"...

[jokerjkny]

Originally Posted by Jaco who?

Thou shalt have enough sense to notice when one is veiwing threads as lame as this one, it is then time to go offline and practice.

[fdeck]

11) No, you can't borrow it.

[fishinmuzician]

One of my guitard buddies sent this to me awhile ago. Kinda fits this thread ...

(Attributed to Tony Levin)
It was a Fender probably a Precision, but it could have been a
Jazz---nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old. Definitely pre-CBS.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good, in fact, and couldn't be improved upon at all (although men would later try). And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo, the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful sunburst red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments. Thus reverb came to be. And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at His handiwork.

In the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo, it was funky. And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go, man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound that sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the moving of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying, "Don't do that!" Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that is another story).

And God heard this---how could He miss it---and lo, He became bugged. And he spoke to the man, and Hesaid, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off the bass that God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies
and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And his voice was thunder as He spoke to the man. He said, "OK for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. LO, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of.

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And I shall make you to always stand by the drummer, and he shall play so many notes thine head shall ache. You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass.

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this: that all the other instruments shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too fast or too high all the other musicians shall say ‘wow’, but really they shall hate it.

"And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and they shall find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night.

"And if you finally when you do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

[joeyl]

thou should always have a lot of headroom

[boamedt]

Originally Posted by fishinmuzician

One of my guitard buddies sent this to me awhile ago. Kinda fits this thread ...

(Attributed to Tony Levin)
It was a Fender probably a Precision, but it could have been a
Jazz---nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old. Definitely pre-CBS.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good, in fact, and couldn't be improved upon at all (although men would later try). And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo, the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful sunburst red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments. Thus reverb came to be. And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at His handiwork.

In the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo, it was funky. And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go, man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound that sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the moving of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying, "Don't do that!" Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that is another story).

And God heard this---how could He miss it---and lo, He became bugged. And he spoke to the man, and Hesaid, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off the bass that God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies
and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And his voice was thunder as He spoke to the man. He said, "OK for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. LO, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of.

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And I shall make you to always stand by the drummer, and he shall play so many notes thine head shall ache. You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass.

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this: that all the other instruments shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too fast or too high all the other musicians shall say ‘wow’, but really they shall hate it.

"And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and they shall find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night.

"And if you finally when you do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

that....was great........ "and it was so"

[gary mitchell]

me and my drummer will become one are i will kick is ass and get another.

[jokerjkny]

Originally Posted by joeyl

thou should always have a lot of headroom

HALLELUJAH