FARTOFF THREAD NUMBER 1

**Bipslapper** · #1 02-14-2010, 03:41 PM

Hey Roscoeheads - Fartoff's and Muggles alike. Was playing my bass today and got a funny cramp in my hand, like I do often- feels like muscle cramp, and thought it might be interesting to see how others warm up, especially before a gig or rehearsal. Too often I get to the club with little time to spare, set up my gear and then we're off and I feel like we need to start off with easy 1,4,5's and skip "Flight of the Bumblebee" til just before the "ugly lights are turned on" and last call is announced.
What do you folks like to do, anything besides just playing scales?
(Disclaimer: No, I nor my band, do not play flight of the Bumblebee; not a good dance tune for the chicks IMO).

What exercises work best for you?

Pete C.

**Freddels** · #2 02-14-2010, 05:55 PM

Here's a trombone player I used to play with in college.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcqRtNCtJ9k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtESa...eature=related

**Bipslapper** · #3 02-14-2010, 06:51 PM

WOW ! He is amazing.

**Freddels** · #4 02-14-2010, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipslapper

WOW ! He is amazing.

Yes, he practices too much.

lwrthnwhalepoop · #5 02-14-2010, 07:45 PM

Bipslapper,

Sorry to hear about your hand cramps, bro. I can't recall suffering them myself, but it could be that they're being masked by all the brain damage I have from all the bad things I put into my facial orifices back in the day.

I don't have a warm-up routine to speak of. I do try to noodle a bit before a session's first take, though typically what's in need of warming is the aforementioned brain. Once I've had five minutes to get my brain and the bass up to operating temp, I'm good to go.

Here's a general article on cramps, and this one describes dystonic cramps, which may be what you're experiencing. Those are just two shots in the dark - I'm not a doctor and wouldn't presume to accurately diagnose your case.

I usually associate cramps with dehydration, which I'm frequently guilty of since I drink massive oceans of caffeinated beverages. Maybe chugging a Gatorade on the way to the gig is worth trying...?

I suppose you could try mixing some crushed-up Midol or Pamprin tablets into your hand lotion. One possible side effect would be the inexplicable appearance of Barry Manilow melodic figures in your bass lines. We're in uncharted therapeutic waters here, so be careful. Don't get any on your johnson, for God's sake.

Best of luck in this, and feel better fast. Let us know what works so that other sufferers, and I bet there are some, can benefit.

-Dave

**Bipslapper** · #6 02-14-2010, 08:47 PM

Dave, thanks for sound advice. I think I came across too alarmingly at first. The hand cramps are once in a Blue Moon, nothing regular. I thank you for the gatorade suggestion; I think some of the times where my palm cramps is on a Friday night gig, where I have been working all week and the day has been hectic. I own my own business and the stress level/ work level is high and don't get enough water, especially on a Friday so that makes sense.

If any Barry Manilow bass lines entered my mind I would seek the closest and fastest Lobotomy practice and demand a procedure (suggesting cheap bass lessons from a one-armed bassist as possible barter material) We could be Bass Billy Babbit & the Cerebellums

Always loved that name.............................................. What Cha Think?

Jim Nazium · #7 02-15-2010, 05:18 AM

I am disappointed that "Fartoff Thread #1" is not the announcement of a flatulence contest.

Here are some hand and wrist stretches. I like to do a few of these before playing, especially the "horse rider" and "hand push". Remember to do these GENTLY.
http://www.ergocise.com/wrists.html

I don't usually warm up before farting contests, however. I just eat a bowl of split pea soup and et 'er rip.

JOME77 · #8 02-15-2010, 09:52 AM

You know, as a legitimate member of the FARTOFF club (we really should consider a variation to our chosen acronym!) I too have from time to time experienced cramping in my left hand. It always seems related to playing a fairly busy and repetitive bass line in the lower register at the beginning of a gig.

I think that the recommended warm up is the solution. I usually try to take a few minutes to play various selected scales and patterns just prior to the sound check and that usually is sufficient.

Of course sometimes I'm running late and all I have time to do is tune up and play, and of course, that's usually when I have the issues.

mwbonsall · #9 02-15-2010, 11:33 AM

Have you tried a couple of 12 ounce curls, one with each hand, before the first set?

Mark

ubone · #10 02-15-2010, 12:54 PM

As a FARTOFF member, prone to the dreaded cramping hand syndrome I can only tell you my routine to stave off the malady. Heat, Hydration, Stretching, and playing with a LIGHTER TOUCH. Now I have stamina for days, better tone, and increased speed.

lwrthnwhalepoop · #11 02-15-2010, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOME77

You know, as a legitimate member of the FARTOFF club (we really should consider a variation to our chosen acronym!)...

Joe, I completely understand and concur. We'll put you on the "stealth" mailing list. Your newsletters will be sent from the more family-friendly return address of "Prominent Aficionados of Sweet Sub-harmonic Greensboro-built Acoustic Systems." In the interest of saving ink, it'll likely be printed using its acronym, "P.A.S.S.G.A.S."

Darkstrike · #12 02-15-2010, 04:18 PM

Hmmm, interesting stuff, I used to get cramps, but I'm afraid I have no advice..... learning, though...

**Freddels** · #13 02-15-2010, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkstrike

Hmmm, interesting stuff, I used to get cramps, but I'm afraid I have no advice..... learning, though...

It could be just gas.

Darkstrike · #14 02-15-2010, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddels

It could be just gas.

Something I constantly suffer....

StyleOverShow · #15 02-15-2010, 05:22 PM

Cramping not a problem too often, usually after a hard day's work at the store (Print & Copy) sorting papers and the like.

Warmups I usually run scales in thirds (1-3-2-4, etc) three octaves and then triads with 7th's for the fourth note. Couple minutes and I'm good to go.

Gassing is another problem altogether and when I lift my Amp onto a stage it is generally not a good idea to stand directly behind.

-richard

JOME77 · #16 02-15-2010, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lwrthnwhalepoop

Joe, I completely understand and concur. We'll put you on the "stealth" mailing list. Your newsletters will be sent from the more family-friendly return address of "Prominent Aficionados of Sweet Sub-harmonic Greensboro-built Acoustic Systems." In the interest of saving ink, it'll likely be printed using its acronym, "P.A.S.S.G.A.S."

P.A.S.S.G.A.S........... That's much better!

I guess that's better than S.H.A.R.T. (Subsonic Heavy Artistic Rumbling Toot)