No blender, but how 'bout a baby?

[VroomVroom]

Sometimes I swear the world conspires against bass solos. (Which, granted, isn't always a bad thing. )

So, on last night's gig it wasn't Adam's pina colada drink order that got in the way, but rather a young lad with an amazing set of lungs. This kid was at least 30 feet away from the band, and before you ask, yep....his parents were getting dirty looks from all corners. There was actually a small bit of applause when the family left.

Anyway...a brother gets to take a solo on "Georgia" and the anti-bass-solo gods intervene:

Georgia

Lame joke aside, I offer this mostly to once again share just how awesome the Roscoe sounds running through the GB Shuttle. Excuse the bass playing, but dig the tone. Here's one mo':

Blues

[Asher S]

A screaming fan- could be worse!

[RocketMusic]

Jerry - I think the kid was just letting you know that he prefers palm muting... he was comping a nice droning horn part along with your "Georgia" solo until you switched right hand technique. Then he went silent, until finally he just had to more vociferously protest the lack of palm muting.

[VroomVroom]

Greg, I think you're right. My first thought was that he was just saying, "Dude. Suck less."

[RocketMusic]

Originally Posted by VroomVroom

My first thought was that he was just saying, "Dude. Suck less."

Man... I'm really, really torn... on the one hand, I don't mind a little bawdy humor among friends... on the other hand, this is a public forum probably with some religious folks on it who might not appreciate a steady diet of that sort of thing... and then on the third hand, I have a guy from San Fran saying "Dude. Suck Less."

I'm a conflicted, conflicted man this fine evening... so many funny ways to go... but I will refrain. I think Data's S&M basses were enough for the week (not to mention, they'd be mighty hard to top on the humor scale).

By the way, Jerry - as always, your playing is terrific. Screamin' baby or not.

[CrashClint]

I think bass solos are covered in this piece religious bass doctrine.


In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Roscoe, probably a LG, but it could have been a SKB - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old… definitely pre-Gardfather

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'natural' naked wood, and he loved it. He played upon the open B string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.) And it was good. And God heard that is was good and He smiled at his handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound, which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying, "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion.

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it, but now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass, which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you pal. You have not heeded My word, Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you, you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night."

And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

[VroomVroom]

Originally Posted by RocketMusic

Man... I'm really, really torn... on the one hand...on the other hand...and then on the third hand...

Dood...you're torn? I've got material pourin' out my ears over a cat with three hands. Good stuff, Greg - thanks for the morning laugh!

[dataBASS5]

Originally Posted by VroomVroom

So, on last night's gig it wasn't Adam's pina colada drink order that got in the way...

I'm about to BEAT you like you owe me money. Or at least a blue PJB amp.

Originally Posted by RocketMusic

I think Data's S&M basses were enough for the week (not to mention, they'd be mighty hard to top on the humor scale).

Yuck it up, fairy.

[JOME77]

Originally Posted by CrashClint

I think bass solos are covered in this piece religious bass doctrine.


In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Roscoe, probably a LG, but it could have been a SKB - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old… definitely pre-Gardfather

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'natural' naked wood, and he loved it. He played upon the open B string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.) And it was good. And God heard that is was good and He smiled at his handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound, which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying, "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion.

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it, but now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass, which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you pal. You have not heeded My word, Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you, you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night."

And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

So ..... is that a quoted from I Clint or did the Dr. increase your pain killers?

Actually quite original...... maybe even original sin!

[CrashClint]

Originally Posted by JOME77

So ..... is that a quoted from I Clint or did the Dr. increase your pain killers?

Actually quite original...... maybe even original sin!

Someone sent it to me a long time ago, I changed the bass name to be Roscoe.

[Gard]

Originally Posted by CrashClint

Someone sent it to me a long time ago, I changed the bass name to be Roscoe.

The first time I saw it, it was in Tony Levin's book. Don't know if he wrote it or not, but I gotta credit T-Lev for the first sighting in my life.

[lwrthnwhalepoop]

Originally Posted by VroomVroom

Sometimes I swear the world conspires against bass solos. (Which, granted, isn't always a bad thing. )

So, on last night's gig it wasn't Adam's pina colada drink order that got in the way, but rather a young lad with an amazing set of lungs. This kid was at least 30 feet away from the band, and before you ask, yep....his parents were getting dirty looks from all corners. There was actually a small bit of applause when the family left.

Anyway...a brother gets to take a solo on "Georgia" and the anti-bass-solo gods intervene:

Georgia

Lame joke aside, I offer this mostly to once again share just how awesome the Roscoe sounds running through the GB Shuttle. Excuse the bass playing, but dig the tone. Here's one mo':

Blues

Jerry, I finally got a chance to listen to your clips. The kid, a young struggling bassist, was obviously blown away by your chops and was despondent thinking that he'd never achieve such mastery on the bass and would have to abandon it for a lesser instrument.

I've been there. The same thing happened to me the first time I saw Jaco live. Luckily it was a loud outdoor gig; my wailing had no apparent effect on Jaco's wailing. I pondered switching to drums or guitar but in the end manned-up and went to the woodshed.

Nice stuff on both clips.

I can recall a visual interruption from a gig many years ago. A really drunk guy with a really big gut and no a** was dancing with a "new friend" he'd just met, right in front of the stage, when suddenly his pants dropped to his ankles. As luck would have it, he'd "gone commando" that evening, and in his stupor didn't realize his wardrobe malfunction until my bandmates and I had completely come unglued and stopped in the middle of the tune. He turned, bleary-eyed, to cuss us out for stopping and then realized his boo-boo. The whole joint roared for 10 minutes straight. He pulled his pants up and went right back to belly-rubbin' when we finally got ourselves started again. We didn't get back in the groove until he and his friend finally went off to do what drunk people do.

Keep it up.

[VroomVroom]

I don't know if it's the long winters, or all those lakes...but cats from Minnesota have absolutely the best forum posts. Thanks for the kind words, but even more so for the priceless story.

[lwrthnwhalepoop]

Originally Posted by VroomVroom

I don't know if it's the long winters, or all those lakes...but cats from Minnesota have absolutely the best forum posts. Thanks for the kind words, but even more so for the priceless story.

I think it's the long dark winters and all the Scandinavian immigrant genetic stock (not me - I'm Irish/Italian) that makes for fertile ground for dark humor. Have you ever read Ibsen? And the Coen brothers are from here.

The best gigus interruptus tale is one I heard about a performance by Sinatra at one of the big Vegas showrooms. To open and close the stage curtains at the beginning and end of the shows, they had an elephant in each wing that grabbed a big rope with its trunk and tugged the curtain open or closed. At the very finale of Sinatra's encore - "My Way" - when he and the orchestra paused dramatically before the last note, one of the elephants fills the silence with an enormous foghorn-like blast of flatulence. It was so loud Helen Keller could have heard it. Of course Sinatra, orchestra, crew and audience ROFLMAO-ed for quite a while. I guess the Chairman never did collect himself enough to belt out that last note. Even a consummate professional occasionally encounters a kink he can't straighten out, I guess.