Practicing and being a father....

[ekspain]

Dear Patrick,

I'm a working bassist, who likes to practice a lot. As it happens, I may be a father in about 9 months. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm wondering about the balance of responsibilities, etc.

I was wondering if you had these "responsibilities" and were you able to balance these, with your dream of being the best you can be?

Thanks for the inspiration!

EkSPAIN

[PNeher]

Hi
You always manage to come up with stumper, challenging questions! I like that but, it makes me think!
My daughter is now in her twenties. When she was borne I was deep in my career building mode and it was often a problem to give full attention to both career and family. Soon after, my marriage disintegrated. I learned a lot about time management after that...perhaps a bit too late for that spouse, but it did strengthen my relationship with my daughter. So, briefly, my suggestion is to really dig deep into your psyche and establish some full life goals, then establish exactly how you will manage your time in accomplishing and supporting those goals. For me, now, family relationships have greater priority than any other goal, but when I was in my 20s and 30s my playing and teaching were priorities.. I am not judging whether career or family are better or "right." You simply must be honest with yourself and manage your time to do what you want to be successful at. And judge what is successful only for yourself and those people and things you care deeply for.
Best, always!
Patrick

Originally Posted by ekspain

Dear Patrick,

I'm a working bassist, who likes to practice a lot. As it happens, I may be a father in about 9 months. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm wondering about the balance of responsibilities, etc.

I was wondering if you had these "responsibilities" and were you able to balance these, with your dream of being the best you can be?

Thanks for the inspiration!

EkSPAIN

[Stick_Player]

Originally Posted by ekspain

... your dream of being the best you can be?

You are, of course, referring to being the best father you can be?

[Jeremy Darrow]

I'm "in the thick of it" right now. We have a three year old and a one year old. I'm reliving the experience all over again with the new baby, and I'm doing a few things differently. This time, I'm committing fully (with little complaining) to my daily jobs with the kids. My wife has a stable job and I'm a freelancer, so part of my daily routine has to be cut due to family obligations.

Practice wise, I'm learning to make the best use of my time, focusing on things that are immediately work-related, like learning new material. I do set aside time every day to play, sometimes it's only an hour, sometimes it's more. Having done this before, I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. When my youngest starts daycare in a few months I'll have much (though not all) of my time back. Lately I have become much more deliberate in my practice habits and I think that I'll be more productive than I was before because of this.

Kids are incredible and if you can learn to see the world as they see it, you'll get the most out of each other. Good luck!

[ILIA]

There is no nobler excuse for bowing out of the audition circuit rat race than erasing audition practice time in order to spend time to take care of your kids.