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08-29-2011, 02:15 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Central NY | | | Bluegrass humor
A musician at a bluegrass gig recently popped this one-liner. I share for your enjoyment.
"Well, you know what they say: if you've heard one bluegras tune, you've heard'em both!"
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No frets. No worries.
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08-29-2011, 02:31 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: London, Ontario | | | Q: How are an investment portfolio and a banjo player alike?
A: Eventually they both will mature and make some money!
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Brian Joyce
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08-30-2011, 04:57 PM
| | | Did you hear about the bas player who was depressed about his bad timing.........
He threw himself behind a train.
Sorry.  |
08-30-2011, 09:22 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: New Hampshire | | | Do you know why there are no banjos on Star Trek?
Because it's the future. |
08-30-2011, 09:32 PM
| | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Osage Beach Missouri | | | How many lead guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One--He holds up the light bulb and the world revolves around him!
Sorry, not actually a bluegrass joke but still priceless.
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P&W #873
Fender Jazz Bass
Genz-Benz Streamliner 600
Ampeg 8x10-OhYeah!
Last edited by Matt Lake : 08-30-2011 at 09:36 PM.
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08-30-2011, 09:52 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: San Francisco, CA | | | Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: People cry when you chop an onion into little pieces.
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Disclaimer: Actually, I love banjos. |
08-31-2011, 11:40 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Walla Walla, WA | | | How do you get a banjo picker off your porch?
Pay for the pizza. |
08-31-2011, 11:45 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY | | | What do you call a banjo player in a suit?
The defendant. |
08-31-2011, 11:46 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: The REAL LA -- Lower Alabama! | | | q: How many bluegrass pickers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to bitch because it's electric!
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... and the ignorant shall ignore... it's what they do best.
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08-31-2011, 11:47 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Phoenix | | | How many bluegrass bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1...5...1...5...1...5 |
08-31-2011, 11:34 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Perth Western Australia | | | How do I know the toothbrush was invented by a banjo player?
If it had been invented by anyone else it would be called the "teethbrush"!
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My instrument touches the ground!
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09-01-2011, 09:51 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY | | | What's the difference between a banjo and a chainsaw?
The chainsaw has an "off" switch. |
09-01-2011, 11:53 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: NYC | | | A NY writer has a serious case of writer's block and Too Many Distractions in the city so, on a friend's advice, finds a little cabin in the middle of nowhere in Appalachia and settles in to do some writing. And sure enough, with absolutely NO people around, he gets an amazing amount of work done. The only human contact he's had for 6 weeks is when he takes the 8 mile walk down the mountain to the only gen'ral store in the "holler".
But one afternoon, there's a knock on the door and lo and behold there's a gentleman of the hills come a'callin'.
Says Mr. Hill William " Wayull, since I reckon yer here for a spell, I might as well be neighborly. If y'all ain't doing nothing come the evening, why dontcha come on over to my place fer a shindig?"
To which Mr. New York Writer responds " Thanks, I'm really ahead on the work I'm doing and I could use a break. What time should I come by?"
HW - Wayull, anytime after sundown would be alright, I reckon. I gots to warn ya though, may be some drankin' going on.
NYW - Hey, no worries. I'm a writer, that's what we DO.
HW - Alright then. But with all that drinkin', liable there's to be some fightin' too.
NYW - I was a Golden Gloved middleweight in college, I think I can hold my own.
HW - Alrighty then. But when it starts gettin' late there may be some f***in' goiin' on.
NYW - Well, it HAS been a little lonely up here. I think I'm OK with that.
HW - Shore nuff! Wayull, I'll see ya a little later then.
NYW - Hey, before you go; I've never been to a party in this neck of the woods before, what should I wear?
HW - Oh it don't matter much, just gone be you and me....
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"It takes a pretty great drummer to be better than no drummer" -Chet Baker
BECAUSE AWESOME CAT IS AWESOME!!!!!
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09-02-2011, 08:53 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: London, Ontario | | | That joke made me squeal like a pig with laughter!
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Brian Joyce
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09-02-2011, 03:48 PM
| | | | I fought my paw, and the paw won. |
09-05-2011, 08:31 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: SE PA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bejoyous  That joke made me squeal like a pig with laughter! |
Aww thats bad......PADDLE FASTER I hear Banjo muisc
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Pennsylvania Bassists Club #30
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09-05-2011, 07:42 PM
| | Registered User
A&R, Soulless Corporation Records | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Round Rock, TX | | | One I heard from my dad's soundman friend:
Q: How many soundmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 5. One to do it, and 4 to stand around and say "I would've done that differently." |
09-05-2011, 07:54 PM
|  | Groovin' Eskrimador
Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Santa Cruz Mtns, California | | | What's the difference between a monitor mixer and a toilet?
A toilet only has to deal with one a$$hole at a time.
Obligatory bluegrass joke:
What's the least common sentence in the English language?
"Hey, isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"
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Originally Posted by KillianRussell The best hat for metal, is the hat the dude, Kesslari wore the other day to open for The Ohio Players. | Funkranomicon
Fretless Instrumentals: Folk in A
Zon, Genz Benz, BFM and LDS
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11-04-2011, 08:17 PM
| | | | Q: How many banjo pikkers does it take to make dinner?
A: Two, One to watch for cars, and one to scrape it off the road! |
11-05-2011, 10:24 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: Nashville, TN | | | Q: How many soundmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: TWO, TWO, TWO. |  | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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