I'd really try to steer you away from anything too "cookbook", and toward looking at the overall setup. If your goal is to have low and quiet action then realize that aside from being counterintuitive you have to have everything falling into place. The nut height, the saddle height, the neck angle, the relief, and the fret job, all have to be pretty much optimized. A neck with the occasional high fret will make you use more relief, for instance, or make some other correction.
When you say "plucked pretty hard" it means that you are introducing a lot of string excursion, and that means that the string needs room to vibrate. So you are really looking to have enough clearance, just, for the string to vibrate without hitting the frets. That is going to be depending on *your* technique, and also your string choice.
Unless I am diagnosing a specific part of the neck I measure relief between the 1st and 12th fret, and I don't use a feeler gauge. I am looking for a nice even curvature and good "daylight". I dial the neck in with the strings off, adjusting to get basically zero relief and using a fret rocker and a 12" and 24" straightedge to help find any problem areas. I had a 18" with a notched end that was perfect betwen the 1st and 12th on a 34 or 35" bass, but it got stepped on! Once strung up, I am usually within a quarter turn of super low and flat.
Or buy a Zon and forget all of that junk! I have never touched the neck on my Sonus and it is still the nicest playing bass I have ever owned
