Critique my playing?

[Psycho]

I'd love to hear what I can improve on.

I know there's a little flub in there, but other than that could you all be so kind as to tell me what needs work?

Just a re-worked original piece: Dreaming in a Nightmare - Melodic bass solo - YouTube

[Admpres]

To me, it seems like you just need to work on the smoothness and transitions. Try and get rid of the buzzies, and get your Triplets down, and it would be amazing!
(Try learning the main riff to Schism by Tool, and just get that motion down.)
Throw in a little reverb in the mix, and you just can't go wrong!
Great job, and I'm really diggin' the white Warlock look!

[GRAHAM SG1]

This is a good idea, its nice to see someone put a clip on here for members to comment on, constructive criticism is the best way to progress especially with such a huge member base which must have some great players .
Nice playing by the way

[Psycho]

Thanks! I had done my usual practice during the day, so my fingers on my left hand were really hurting by this point in time.

And funny enough, the main riff of Schism is where I got the idea for the intro.

Thanks for the help, i'll definitely know what to work on now.

[Jay2U]

1) Counting, counting... (metronome?)
2) Raking somtimes (which is not a problem, I just noticed).
3) Very ambitious, I like that.

Keep up the good work. If you're a little less tense, I'm sure you'll do even better.

[Herbie 80's]

Work on your timing (play with a metronome - all of the time, and clap out rhythms with a metronome for better practice).

Work on your fluidity in your playing (finger technique, and especially in what you're doing with your left hand. In Electric Bass, all of those buzzes and gross sounding notes always comes from your left hand. Once you develop it, you can start blaming problems on your right hand.

Learn rudimentary theory so that you can tell when the piece is meant to sound minor, major, dissonant, or what have you. If you also understand how chords are constructed, and why they sound a certain way, it'll allow you to make the piece a lot more interesting melodically and harmonically.

Don't shift positions when you don't need to - it'll cause you to fall out of time, and create gross sounding notes.

Edit: Also, as a last note, use the 'matchstick method'. Take ten matchsticks (or cutips, or whatever have you), and if you play the piece perfectly, move a matchstick to the other side. If you don't play the piece perfectly, restart this process. It'll kick your @$$, but you'll know the rhythm, melody, harmony, and the feeling of the piece much more.

Also, one more thing, remember that every note is not an 'indefinite' amount of time. Control the time, be fluid, and never let that inner drummer in your head lose count.

Keep playing!