harsh criticism would be nice.

brentonkim · #1 07-23-2010, 10:43 PM

Hi, so, the other day, I decided to record something with my bass, and I decided that the Jaco rendition of "Blackbird" would be fun and easy. I did this in one take, and no warm-up, just kind of a spontaneous once for fun kind of thing. Anyway, I know I messed up that Am7 Pentatonic, and I do get off a bit, but anyway, any criticisms would be nice. I'm not very good, I picked it up as a hobby, haha. I'm always looking for advice to get me better, haha. Thanks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkXQDIMR24o

And if this isn't the right place, I am sorry, forgive me, and put it where it belongs.
Thanks.

Ed Fuqua · #2 07-23-2010, 11:08 PM

I don't know about harsh, it just sounds kind of mechanical. You heard this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw-X5GTiYGw

JimmyM · #3 07-24-2010, 01:22 AM

sorry brenton but i have to agree with ed nugent. i'm not getting any emotion out of your playing. you play very well, but the notes all sound the same and it sounds, well, mechanical. if i were you i'd slow it down a bit, try to throw in some dynamics, try to play more like paul mccartney sings it, and try to feel the meaning of the song rather than just get the notes right.

Reynoldbot · #4 07-24-2010, 01:44 AM

Here's some harsh (well, honest) criticism: stop trying to play like Jaco and start developing your own voice. I'd rather hear a composition written by you than have to hear another tortured rendition of a jaco bassline.

Kyo6JM · #5 07-24-2010, 05:35 AM

Good playing, but I never liked Jaco's interpretation of the tune all that much in the first place!

MalcolmAmos · #6 07-24-2010, 05:49 AM

If melodic was what you were shooting for you are on the right track. If laying down a groove was what you were shooting for - missed it.

What were you shooting for?

ubado · #7 07-24-2010, 05:50 AM

For picking it up as a hobbie ... rather nice job.

Nothing harsh/bad to say, except work on your extra string noise during changes ... it's a bit off putting; detracts from the beauty of the song; and makes it seem as the others have described so well ... mechanical. A smoother set of rounds will help that a lot.

Other than that ... keep up the good work.

brentonkim · #8 07-24-2010, 01:02 PM

awesome!
thanks for in the info, will work on it.

brendanbassist · #9 07-24-2010, 01:08 PM

Its actually sounds pretty good. The timing is a little bit off. I'd recommend playing it a little slower, at least until playing it becomes second nature. Playing slower will help you to be able to incorporate more "feeling", like the others suggested.