My Cadaver (vocals, gothic industrial, work in progress)

[BrickIsRed]

Listen here: [soundcloud.com]

Obviously still needs another verse and more detail. Hopefully you guys will listen.

[mambo4]

I'll bite -I used to hit the goth clubs every weekend.
Just constructive crit/opinion, pleas don't take any of this as a slam or a "yer doin it wrong"

-missing the disco : like it or not Goth /industrial is primarily club music and this beat lacks dance appeal. Primarily the quarter note high hat: try 8ths or 16ths instead.Ref Meat Beat Manifesto or skinny puppy...

-missing electro drum flavors : kudos for using real drums -or at least samples thereof. But again, primarily club music, so those electro flavors are part of it.
At least throw and 808 kick in there..but whatever you do, DONT put the kick 4 to the bar like every damn VNV nation track...

-vocal line sounds like just a verse. hopefully the chorus will take it elsewhere... Probably yelling something angsty

-there is a "hole" in the EQ spectrum, in the upper register (like flute /violin range the highs are mostly the noisy crinkley sounds...needs some upper range muscality like shimmering synth chords or Cure / Cocteua Twins -like guitar stuff.

certainly approaches the flavor though. Nice to see people still tryign to make this stuff.

[BrickIsRed]

Originally Posted by mambo4

I'll bite -I used to hit the goth clubs every weekend.
Just constructive crit/opinion, pleas don't take any of this as a slam or a "yer doin it wrong"

-missing the disco : like it or not Goth /industrial is primarily club music and this beat lacks dance appeal. Primarily the quarter note high hat: try 8ths or 16ths instead.Ref Meat Beat Manifesto or skinny puppy...

-missing electro drum flavors : kudos for using real drums -or at least samples thereof. But again, primarily club music, so those electro flavors are part of it.
At least throw and 808 kick in there..but whatever you do, DONT put the kick 4 to the bar like every damn VNV nation track...

-vocal line sounds like just a verse. hopefully the chorus will take it elsewhere... Probably yelling something angsty

-there is a "hole" in the EQ spectrum, in the upper register (like flute /violin range the highs are mostly the noisy crinkley sounds...needs some upper range muscality like shimmering synth chords or Cure / Cocteua Twins -like guitar stuff.

certainly approaches the flavor though. Nice to see people still tryign to make this stuff.

Much appreciated. It's not really intended as a dance track. The existing vocals is just verse 1. I plan on adding some guitar and maybe more synth work to fill the hole.

Thanks again.

[BrickIsRed]

Song has been significantly updated. My Cadaver v.3 by Morgan's 303 on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free