First, that's a nice solo to learn, have you checked out Cannonball's solo? Also, there's some recordings of the outtakes/studio rehearsals for this recording out there; it's pretty interesting hearing Bill Evans and PC struggling with the intro
As far as critique - I'd like you to pull up the video and close your eyes and listen to it. Don't listen to the notes, the sound you're getting or anything like that; just listen to you and Miles playing. The thing that I hear, almost without fail on every phrase, is that you're out in front of the timestream. I hear you play before Miles.
The second thing is articulation - you're attacking pretty much every note, Miles isn't. Do this again, for yourself, but record your bass in such a way that you don't hear the Miles solo. Then listen to Miles, then play the soloed bass recording and see if you hear what I'm talking about.
I know for many folks out there, transcription is just datamining - let me get some phrases to play. But, for me (thanks to my teacher, who got this from HIS teacher, Lennie Tristano) by using transcription in some pretty specific ways, you actually get to practice the root methodology of improvising in this medium. That is, you hear something with enough clarity to get the notes out of your head/ear and into the air through your instrument.
If I might suggest, if you haven't already taken Miles' solo off of FREDDIE FREELOADER (if you have, try this with the next solo you wnat to transcribe), try the following - pull the solo into AUDACITY (or some other program) that will allow you to take the tempo to half speed without changing the pitch. Listen to the solo A LOT, listening for all nuances of attack, sustained notes, legato/staccato phrasing, vibrato, where the note is placed in the time stream, dynamics - and the start singing along with the solo. Sing in the same pitch range, match all of those nuances you hear. You want to get to a place where the sound coming out of your mouth is so in sync with the recording that it's hard to hear any difference. Then take the full speed recording and do the same thing.
By the time you can sing the full speed recording with ALL the nuances of phrasing, then you just pick up your bass and play what you're singing. I guarantee it's going to be big step forward in your playing.
) but otherwise i thought it was pretty solid.
