Song-like Tune From My Band

[funkycarnivore]

We recorded this about a year ago, but I thought I'd post it here to get some feedback. The band's still around, going through a name change and a drummer change (which is kinda sad because the guy we got was pretty good). Anyway, I play bass on this one--I recorded using my Lakland Joe Osborn into an Avalon U5. Not much of a slapper, so I didn't feel very confident about the last parts. Also, there's supposed to be a saxophone over the ending part, but our guitar player moved his studio when he moved houses so we never got around to it. Definitely a work in progress, but I like it overall. Feel free to disagree.

http://www.foshiz.net/blamejames/bla...%20tempest.mp3

[funkycarnivore]

Dude...nothing?

[20db pad]

I dig it - there's some good ideas and performances there. It's obviously a work in progress, but I don't hear anything that would indicate you guys don't know what to fix and how to do it.

I'd explore and expand the chord changes and mood in the intro of the tune - you know, and up/down thing in terms of intensity compared to the chorus.

Personally, I'm a reformed Mark King slap-a-holic who is in atonement for the sins of my younger thumpin' days. I'd play the end of the tune fingerstyle. It's not that you don't sound good doing the slap part, but I think the song is served better with a less forward approach.

Of course, I'm not a Grammy winning producer or songsmith, so the proverbial grain of salt applies to my remarks.

[Cacklingjackyl]

I enjoyed it. There were some good things going on in there.

[Oysterman]

I too like it, overall. I have a thing a thing against building song parts on repeating the same phrase 4 times, and then moving to the next part. Happens much too often in pop/rock IMO, and this song is no exception. Not a lot, but it does happen. It wouldn't take much to please me on this "issue", though - a slight harmonic variation here and there, a break, a fill, just a small thing to keep the listener on his toes. I pick up some variations you do have already, but I want more!

And if it was my song, I also would have set ending right after the final sung words. No drums fills or final hit.

Other than that small thing, I found it very enjoyable! Especially the scat singing...

[Whafrodamus]

Is that first guitar out of tune a little or is it just me?

[funkycarnivore]

That's what happens when your guitar player runs the studio! I think the layering stuff is pretty cool, except we have to work harder to fill stuff in when we play live.

Thanks everyone for your observations. Oysterman, you're right that we end up doing a lot of things in blocks of four by default. I think it's funny because we try to add odd meter stuff to keep things interesting, but then we end up doing four of each. Kinda defeats the purpose, huh?

Anyway, thanks again for listening. Here's another tune that I think I might've posted a long time ago on TB. It's an older song with a different drummer and it was the first thing I recorded with this band. It's a little bit more straightforward--kinda like a pop song I guess.

http://www.foshiz.net/blamejames/2wakedeamo.mp3

[Erlendur Már]

I liked it, good job!