What can I do better?

[DeanPlaysBass]

YouTube - Fragile - The Dean Kheroufi Group

Hey TB!! This is a video of my group playing a song of mine. I'm 15 and I've been writing for about a year now and I'm wondering what I can do better with my composing, playing and leading a band. Be brutal with me say what sucks

Thanks!
Dean.

[sammyp]

i'd say tell the shaky camera person to stop drinkin on the job LOL ....keep doing what you're doing ...sounds great ....

[Rockmusician]

I like the song. My only criticism is the fact that the bass is the lead instrument and sounds too much like a guitar. I would rather see the the bass and guitar trade back and forth or maybe add another instrument like a sax to give the song some texture. Other than that the writing is very good.

[redhot zeppelin]

Originally Posted by Rockmusician

I like the song. My only criticism is the fact that the bass is the lead instrument and sounds too much like a guitar. I would rather see the the bass and guitar trade back and forth or maybe add another instrument like a sax to give the song some texture. Other than that the writing is very good.

+1 !

[superbassman2000]

i think it sounded fine with the bass as the lead, I think dynamics are the next step for the whole group. The whole song goes loud-quiet-loud, almost solely because the bass drops out, which isn't necessarily bad, but with such a static vamp, it can lead a boring sounding piece, kind of like this run-on sentence. I would also accent the rhythm more, to bring a little more life to the piece. Otherwise, it sounds good!

[Ric5]

1- Leave the mike on the stand.
2- wear cool clothes. Is it a gig or a student council meeting?
3- don't turn your back to the audience.
4- develop more stage presence.
5- look at the audience more.
6- lower the bass a little.

keep playing ...

[sammyp]

sinse we're nitpickin' i've always disliked how the "band leader" in jazz combos always turns and gets the tempo for the drummer....but if you guys are trying to be real traditional - you're on the money!

[DeanPlaysBass]

Thank you very much! I'll disregard all the joke comments although I enjoyed them lol! I've been told the same thing about dynamics before so I'll work on it with the group to see where we play our best. And I really do have to stop turning my back to the audience haha. I really do wish I could have a sax or something but it's hard a finding a high school student around here who likes jazz enough to be comited and who is a good hang.

[superbassman2000]

as far as dynamics go, your biggest aid will be listening to everyone, and everyone listening to everyone else. Listen for the natural crescendos and decrescendos, and listen for when the soloist starts to get aggressive or passive, and respond to that. It's not always an easy thing to do right away, but with practice, you'll be on top of it.

[Beatle-man16]

I must say I was anticipating pretty mediocre unpolished song but that was pleasantly suprising. The others have already given you advice on my critisms, it just needs an extra layer to give it more depth such as a Sax that was previously mentioned. In terms of appearance I think that could also be addressed more. Also I'd say utilise the guitar just abit more for variety to give it abit more energy within a live atmosphere. Good playing on bass aswell. If you had a few more members I'd think you'd make a pretty good extravagant jazz band.