I get my students to grab the neck like they're grabbing a ham sandwich. Nice, camello.
Seriously, though - try this...
Get a plastic bag and put a few paperback books in it. Okay, maybe a few more.
Hang it off the headstock so there's a rather noticeable weight shift to the neck.
Now, TRY TO HOLD THE NECK UP WITH YOUR THUMB. Make a "thumbs up" sign, and using the part of your thumbprint opposite your thumbnail, push up on the neck (use your bicep to hold it up).
Put your fingers on the strings and see how far you can spread your fingers out.
Doing this experiment will help you get a better feel for what different thumb positions can achieve. It's worth a try.
