Accomplished, Veteran Bassist Who Doesn’t Want to Teach – Should I Feel Guilty?

[jaywa]

I am what would probably be best categorized as an “intermediate/advanced”, semi-professional bassist. I have been playing for 31 years and have been active in my current market since moving back here from Chicago 15 years ago.

During my time here I have played in numerous bands as well as my church and currently among those venues I probably average anywhere from 6 to 10 onstage appearances in any given month. As far as I know I have a very good reputation in the market both for my abilities and general professionalism and demeanor.

Over the last several years I have been approached several times about giving lessons. Prospective students have ranged from a kid in 7th grade at the time to a guy who’s probably at least 65. Each time I say no, and although I don’t give these as my reasons for declining, they are:

1. I’m pretty impatient.

2. I’m almost entirely self-taught and primarily an “ear” player. Roughly the first 25 years of my playing were done entirely by ear and only since then have I taught myself to sight-read notation and work off of chord charts. Since I have so limited experience as a student, I don’t really know how to function as a teacher.

3. I’m not terribly well rounded, stylistically. Rock, blues, country and contemporary worship are where I spend 98% of my time and make all my money. Slower jazz standards I can handle, but fast bebop, harder jazz and fusion are way beyond me. As far as technique, I’m pro-level fingerstyle, but can barely get by with a pick and can’t slap for anything. All of which is to say I’m not sure I’ve got the repertoire myself to be teaching others unless their interests and techniques align with mine and I’m not sure that’s what you want in a teacher.

4. I think I would have a hard time explaining a lot of what I do because I’ve never really thought about it. I’ve just learned over time what “works” for me (even if a lot of it isn't technically the "right" stuff)... and I’m not sure a lot of the things that have been gained through my years of experience can be passed on or “shortcut” through a teaching process. Maybe I’m wrong on that. Also I would hate to steer a student down a path that was wrong for him/her just because it worked for me.

5. I'm pretty opinionated about what I do and don't like in music. If an 18-year old showed up at my door with a pick and a 6-string bass wanting me to teach him how to play death metal I'm not sure I could do that objectively.

So my first question is… should I feel guilty about declining these requests to teach? At 45 years old I feel like I should be passing on what I know and have learned to the next generation… but I also know that good players don’t always make good teachers and I fear that would be the case if I were to take on students. I want to pass along what I’ve learned to younger players that could benefit, but I’m really not sure in my case that a traditional, “teacher/student” relationship is how that would best be done.

My second question is, what is the best way to turn down future requests in a way that leaves no doubt but also doesn’t make me look like a D-bag?

Apologies for the length, and thanks in advance.

[MalcolmAmos]

Understand I have never taught music, however, teaching was my profession.

As a self taught musician, advertise yourself as such and see how you like it. Lot of great teachers were not the front runners in their chosen field and being a front runners does not guarantee being a great teacher. Does help that you know twice as much, about the subject, than your student. The old hold two degrees more than the student criteria. Being self taught do not hold yourself as being beyond that.

Should you decide to not teach I'd suggest the following answer; Thank you, but, I do not teach. You could add, if you chose, "However, I would not mind showing you a few things."

Good luck.

[onosson]

I really feel very similar to you in most of what you say, with the exception that I have probably a stronger theory background. I have taken a handful of students in my 25 years of playing (mostly in the past ten years) and have never thought of myself as a great teacher. But I would say that, in some respects, that is a very good quality as a teacher. You probably don't consider yourself highly qualified because you are fairly self-critical, as am I. But that same ability to critique can be really useful in a teacher-student relationship. I think you might find that not every student is for you, as was the case for me, but if you can find the right students it can be a really enlightening experience. Just my two cents.

[Nickthebass]

Originally Posted by MalcolmAmos

Understand I have never taught music, however, teaching was my profession.

If you do not think you will enjoy teaching, you will not.

Suggested answer; Thank you, but, I choose not to teach.

Good luck.

+1 The other thing to consider is that if you don't want to teach then the chances are you won't be very good at it and IME a bad teacher is worse than no teacher at all. IMO the most important thing about teaching is wanting to be there to impart knowledge and getting a kick out of guiding someone. If that doesn't push your buttons then don't teach and don't feel guilty about not wanting to do it.

You can always suggest that they come to your gigs and watch instead.

[dougjwray]

If you can come up with that many reasons not to, you shouldn't teach. No one's making you. I think the best teachers are the people who enjoy it.

I've played for 41 years, pro and now semi-pro, and I don't teach because:
a) I'm a lousy disciplinarian and I would be bewildered and stumped by someone who didn't practice.
b) I have a basic belief that if someone REALLY wants to learn bass, he will teach himself (like, walk 20 miles through the snow, barefoot, just to watch a pro's hands through the window of a crowded nightclub).
c) I have a kind of Zen (or maybe just plain wimpy) feeling about music: if a student, even a beginner, played something differently than I would, or than a classic method book said... hey, maybe the student's way is better... who am I to tell someone how to play? Maybe that 9-year-old plucking with his pinkie and holding the bass just above his ankles is on to something.

I realize that these excuses are somewhat lame and silly, but obviously I'm not driven to teach, and that's what counts.

[jaywa]

Originally Posted by Nickthebass

You can always suggest that they come to your gigs and watch instead.

Good suggestion, however, the majority of my gigs are in bar bands and in my market that would preclude anyone under the age of 21 from seeing me.

Thanks for the thoughts, all. Keep em coming.

[SMILEYSIXX]

After only two years of playing, I have received quite a few requests to teach people. I have a heavy theory background, can play almost any musical style and can finger, pick, and slap fairly well. I have made most musicians in my town's jaws drop when I tell them I have only played for two years. I've been compared to some musicians who I greatly admire. And yet, my capacity to teach is so minimal, even I can't understand it. I firmly believe that to teach, you have to believe you can and believe you want to. I've tried teaching quite a few people, but I'm not used to people going slowly. Given my theory background, I picked up the mechanics of bass very quickly, and quickly became very good at it, but my impatience gets the best of me. I'm not used to someone not knowing how to finger an octave or walk up the neck. If you can't teach, you can't teach. Simple as that.

[Rockmusician]

I have been playing since 1978 and have absolutely no interest in teaching even though I am constantly being asked to. Maybe it's because I am completely self taught.

[SMILEYSIXX]

Also, I think being self-taught has an effect. If you learned yourself, it can be hard to grasp how to transfer your internal processes to teaching someone else.

[jaywa]

Yeah I'm thinking my opportunities to pass things along may be in a more informal, mentoring relationship where I see a younger player that already has the "mechanics" of bass well in hand and just needs to know how to step it up to the next level... whatever that might look like for him or her.

The other thing with me is, I'm a fervent believer that the best way to get good fast, is to play with other people. I didn't actually play with a real live drummer till my senior year of high school and in that one year I got better than I got the first three years when I was playing by myself. So rather than having players practice by themselves every week and then sit with me for another hour a week playing scales to a metronome, I'd rather help them make connections with other people where they can get into a band situation as soon as they're capable of functioning competently in one. I am very much a pragmatist... probably to a fault. The heck with theory and bedroom technique, what are the things that are gonna get you up on a stage and playing for pay? Those are the things I'm probably better equipped to help some cats out with. But that's not gonna happen an hour at a time in some practice studio someplace.

[dougjwray]

Originally Posted by jaywa

Yeah I'm thinking my opportunities to pass things along may be in a more informal, mentoring relationship where I see a younger player that already has the "mechanics" of bass well in hand and just needs to know how to step it up to the next level... whatever that might look like for him or her.

The other thing with me is, I'm a fervent believer that the best way to get good fast, is to play with other people. I didn't actually play with a real live drummer till my senior year of high school and in that one year I got better than I got the first three years when I was playing by myself. So rather than having players practice by themselves every week and then sit with me for another hour a week playing scales to a metronome, I'd rather help them make connections with other people where they can get into a band situation as soon as they're capable of functioning competently in one. I am very much a pragmatist... probably to a fault. The heck with theory and bedroom technique, what are the things that are gonna get you up on a stage and playing for pay? Those are the things I'm probably better equipped to help some cats out with. But that's not gonna happen an hour at a time in some practice studio someplace.

And once you separate from "Have page 16 ready for next week" it gets hard to come up with a structured fee and that kind of thing.
I've always been very generous with people who informally ask questions, but once it gets structured and I feel like I have to be accountable for them getting their "money's worth", I run away.

[mward69]

I m in the same boat..20 yrs of playing, self taught although I am dabbling in Theory and know enough to "talk shop".
My stepson is 12 and learning guitar. I tried showing him the most basic theory, simple chords, TRY to teach him the strings and the 1st 5 frets of each.....I end up getting frustrated as heck because he doesn't want to learn that "boring" stuff, he wants me to teach him songs........UGHH!!! Whats wrong with these damn younins!

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by jaywa

I am what would probably be best categorized as an “intermediate/advanced”, semi-professional bassist. I have been playing for 31 years and have been active in my current market since moving back here from Chicago 15 years ago.

During my time here I have played in numerous bands as well as my church and currently among those venues I probably average anywhere from 6 to 10 onstage appearances in any given month. As far as I know I have a very good reputation in the market both for my abilities and general professionalism and demeanor.

Over the last several years I have been approached several times about giving lessons. Prospective students have ranged from a kid in 7th grade at the time to a guy who’s probably at least 65. Each time I say no, and although I don’t give these as my reasons for declining, they are:

1. I’m pretty impatient.

2. I’m almost entirely self-taught and primarily an “ear” player. Roughly the first 25 years of my playing were done entirely by ear and only since then have I taught myself to sight-read notation and work off of chord charts. Since I have so limited experience as a student, I don’t really know how to function as a teacher.

3. I’m not terribly well rounded, stylistically. Rock, blues, country and contemporary worship are where I spend 98% of my time and make all my money. Slower jazz standards I can handle, but fast bebop, harder jazz and fusion are way beyond me. As far as technique, I’m pro-level fingerstyle, but can barely get by with a pick and can’t slap for anything. All of which is to say I’m not sure I’ve got the repertoire myself to be teaching others unless their interests and techniques align with mine and I’m not sure that’s what you want in a teacher.

4. I think I would have a hard time explaining a lot of what I do because I’ve never really thought about it. I’ve just learned over time what “works” for me (even if a lot of it isn't technically the "right" stuff)... and I’m not sure a lot of the things that have been gained through my years of experience can be passed on or “shortcut” through a teaching process. Maybe I’m wrong on that. Also I would hate to steer a student down a path that was wrong for him/her just because it worked for me.

5. I'm pretty opinionated about what I do and don't like in music. If an 18-year old showed up at my door with a pick and a 6-string bass wanting me to teach him how to play death metal I'm not sure I could do that objectively.

So my first question is… should I feel guilty about declining these requests to teach? At 45 years old I feel like I should be passing on what I know and have learned to the next generation… but I also know that good players don’t always make good teachers and I fear that would be the case if I were to take on students. I want to pass along what I’ve learned to younger players that could benefit, but I’m really not sure in my case that a traditional, “teacher/student” relationship is how that would best be done.

My second question is, what is the best way to turn down future requests in a way that leaves no doubt but also doesn’t make me look like a D-bag?

Apologies for the length, and thanks in advance.

a simple "gee thanx,but my schedule doesn't allow for students at present"......if you feel that some mentoring you received in the past needs to be paid forward,or that what you have learned could be passed on you could try mentoring one student and see how it goes.....if teaching ain't your bag you will find out soon enough....and there certainly is no shame should that be the case...

[kesslari]

Nobody "should" teach. It takes not only the skillset, but time, inclination, and ideally, passion for teaching.
You have the skillset, but it seems you don't have the other three things.
No harm or shame in that.
"Sorry, I don't teach, but I can recommend you a good teacher" (assuming that you can) is a very polite and reasonable way to decline.

[Russell L]

Well, no, you should not feel guilty for not teaching. But, if it made you feel better, try a student or two and see how it goes. You never know if you have a knack for it. However, for me, I taught for a few years, one at a school, two, or so at a music store. What I found is that I am a very good teacher, but for good students. I got tired of students who just didn't get it, or who didn't try, or who were there only because their parents wanted them to be. And the ones who asked , "How long will it be before I can play a song" made me wanna pull my hair. Only two, maybe out of 25 wanted to understand any theory. Only one wanted to study jazz (and he became better than me within a year). He was a close friend, though, so it was a pleasure having him over so we could chat and jam. We would do that anyway. But he wanted me to teach him theory, and when I did, he skyrocketed. But, the other teaching was mostly a hassle for me. There were a few students who I really liked, though, some whom I've even played with in the years afterwards, good musicians. But, students come and go a lot, and most folks don't really delve into it seriously, so be prepared for that.

I'm not saying it's all bad, it just didn't work for me for very long before I grew weary of it. Right now, I might consider one or two students, but they would have to be special.

BTW, Im', 61, have a B.A. in music theory, and work regularly in two bands, blues and a variety band. I also have a son who plays, but he doesn't ever want me to help him, it seems.

[Jim Kernan]

Don't feel guilty, as a student I would rather someone who wants to teach. Be polite when you tell them no.
I did ask someone once and was told no I play by ear. I had no problem with the response.

[dougjwray]

Originally Posted by mward69

I m in the same boat..20 yrs of playing, self taught although I am dabbling in Theory and know enough to "talk shop".
My stepson is 12 and learning guitar. I tried showing him the most basic theory, simple chords, TRY to teach him the strings and the 1st 5 frets of each.....I end up getting frustrated as heck because he doesn't want to learn that "boring" stuff, he wants me to teach him songs........UGHH!!! Whats wrong with these damn younins!

Long ago, I had a guitar student. Before the first lesson, he told me that he wanted to learn to play KISS guitar solos. I said, okay, let's see how much you know. His first question was, "Do you put your fingers on the shiny metal things [frets], or between them?"
I still gave it a go, but he had no interest in learning how to tune, how to hold a pick, etc. He only wanted to learn how to play those guitar solos. He also got irate when I brought up Jimi Hendrix, and asked, "So why, exactly, was Jimi Hendrix any better at all than the guy in KISS??" That was when I gave up.
Yup, what's wrong with these damn youngin's, indeed.

[SLaPiNFuNK]

If i teach, its only on an advanced level. Dont feel guilty...

[mward69]

Originally Posted by dougjwray

Long ago, I had a guitar student. Before the first lesson, he told me that he wanted to learn to play KISS guitar solos. I said, okay, let's see how much you know. His first question was, "Do you put your fingers on the shiny metal things [frets], or between them?"
I still gave it a go, but he had no interest in learning how to tune, how to hold a pick, etc. He only wanted to learn how to play those guitar solos. He also got irate when I brought up Jimi Hendrix, and asked, "So why, exactly, was Jimi Hendrix any better at all than the guy in KISS??" That was when I gave up.
Yup, what's wrong with these damn youngin's, indeed.

I know we were all beginners, and didn't know was the heck we were doing, and I never thought about how hard it was to just tell someone to play a G {example}
I spent yrs in my room with records and tapes...mom yelling at me Maybe because I am getting old {41} but it seems the ones starting out nowadays want to tune down to C and go....my step daughters BF is a pretty good player, but didn't even know the notes from open to 12 started over at 12 down....I was like WHAT? you HAVE to learn the basic no brainer theory!

[fenderhutz]

I am not a good teacher and I tell that to people that ask me to teach them.

That's not being arrogant, I am just saving them a few bucks.