Can't figure my daughter out

notverygood · #1 02-12-2010, 09:13 PM

My seven year old started asking for music lessions about 6 months ago. She wanted me to take lessions with her so I bought a bass and we started playing. I really am enjoying it and wish i would have started earlier. She was really excited all through the process of buying her guitar, she was excited in the car all the way to the lession. Then, as soon as she played one note it was over. Now she whines every time I ask if she wants to practice. I don't mind that she doesn't want to play, that doesn't bother me, it's the fact that she refuses to try before quitting. Is this a common thing with kids? I've never seen her so excited before, then it's like someone flipped a switch in her head. Do i push her to play hoping that when she learns a song it takes off, or do I back off, not say another word, and see what happens. I don't want to send the wrong message.

trunkshope6 · #2 02-12-2010, 09:21 PM

hmm,i say try to keep her into it man,i dont have any kids ,but when i do id want to push them into playing something,maybe drums,every girl ive met is fascinated with drums

SH69 · #3 02-12-2010, 09:23 PM

As much as I love the bass I'm not sure a 7 year old has the strength to fret the strings. Who chose bass? I dont think its the right instrument for a kid that age.

My 8 year old has been playing the violin for 3 years now and loves it. He loves listening to bass (becuse he love me

) and one day may pick it up and when he does he will kick ass.

kevbassman · #4 02-12-2010, 09:23 PM

She's 7 years old. It might be a passing fancy......or she might want to do it in a year or so. Kids mentality is why practice when I can play Rock Band & sound great!

somedumbguy · #5 02-12-2010, 09:25 PM

Nothing kills a child's passion for something faster than being forced to do it.

Encourage her to play, and even try finding ways to keep her interested (instead of learning scales - try teaching her how to play along to her favorite hannah montana song).

But other than that, there isn't much you can do.

And about being common to kids - yes very much so. Your story is EXTREMELY common, just replace "bass lessons" with virtually anything else.

notverygood · #6 02-12-2010, 09:25 PM

It seems like kids should come with a instruction book. Myself, I always resented being pushed, but now i wish my parents would have.

SH69 · #7 02-12-2010, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notverygood

It seems like kids should come with a instruction book. Myself, I always resented being pushed, but now i wish my parents would have.

Me too that's why I pester my son to practice. No one pestered me and I wish they would have.

notverygood · #8 02-12-2010, 09:28 PM

I'm the one playing bass, she plays a little laguna short scale guitar. I go with her to her lessions.

robass · #9 02-12-2010, 09:37 PM

I have two kids, a son (16) and a daughter (14) and , ya know there's no way of knowing what motivates kids at any point in their development. Maybe she just really wants to hang with you, and that wasn't the right thing for her and you to do together. The BEST experiences I've had with my kids were the unscripted ones, or the ones where I (and we) thought it was going to be one thing, but it ended up being something totally different. What I DO know, is that the moments that really stick with both them and me are the ones where I taught them something (or hell even they taught me something) that was more about who I was, not what I thought they should be.

fdeck · #10 02-12-2010, 09:54 PM

Just a couple of thoughts here. First, do you have a teacher and method that is tailored to small kids? Second, what are y'all trying to learn? Melodies or chords? I suspect that small kids would rather learn melodies -- songs.

My kids are both in the Suzuki string program. My son, age 7, plays cello. My daughter, age 9, plays violin. The music is all classical, which kids at that age seem to enjoy. I am not sure that little kids really get rock 'n' roll. The teachers are all good with kids, or they wouldn't be doing it.

I was pushed, and I'm glad of it. I push my kids in the following way. I would not force them to continue with something that they really hate, but if they seem to be enjoying it, I will help them maintain a continuity of effort and also, the encouragement to get through the difficult work.

Maybe you should read Nurtured by Love by Shinichi Suzuki. It's a bit corny, but a lot of Suzuki parents think that the book is full of wisdom.

notverygood · #11 02-12-2010, 10:14 PM

Thanks for all advice. I'm glad to hear i'm not the only one whose kids started music young. Her teacher is pretty good, he taught my wife when she was a kid. I think I'll keep taking her to her lessions and I'll look for some sort of kid's songbook to make it less like practice. I hope what ever she decides she at least gives it a good try.

Never_grew_up · #12 02-12-2010, 10:24 PM

She's practicing to be a woman. They change their minds all the time.
My daughter wanted to learn bass because she thought the *idea* of playing bass was cool. But it made her fingers hurt and "Don't worry, after a while you'll get get over that" wasn't good enough.

MalcolmAmos · #13 02-12-2010, 10:38 PM

Kids have short attention spans and wake up in a new World every day. I did the same thing with our Granddaughter when she was that age. Her enthusiasm lasted about as long as your experience. The guitar is still in her closet, when we visit I have a guitar to play.

She is now 17. Head cheerleader, National Honor Society, varsity golf, Key Club, helps with the nursery at church and works three hours three days a week.

Don't worry too much about this just be there for her, it was a fun experience and you built a memory.

Roy Vogt · #14 02-12-2010, 10:51 PM

I'd just keep it low key-seven is awful young. The youngest student I've had was 8 and it didn't last long. I'd probably put zero pressure here, just leave the bass around. If she seems interested in a little bit, I'd maybe find some simple songs to play with her (as in a couple of notes that sound good in a simple Rock/Children's song). It should be fun at 7.
On the other hand, if you'd like her to grow up to be a Doctor, Lawyer, or Engineer I'd give her piano lessons and force her to practice. Considering my childhood peer group it's guaranteed....

ericw · #15 02-12-2010, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roy Vogt

give her piano lessons and force her to practice

+1
Recently being a kid.. we're lazy. You've got to force us to actually stick with something. And I wish I had been forced to take piano lessons from the get-go; getting the reading and theory down from the beginning has to be a huge advantage.

PZapdos · #16 02-12-2010, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notverygood

My seven year old started asking for music lessions about 6 months ago. She wanted me to take lessions with her so I bought a bass and we started playing. I really am enjoying it and wish i would have started earlier. She was really excited all through the process of buying her guitar, she was excited in the car all the way to the lession. Then, as soon as she played one note it was over. Now she whines every time I ask if she wants to practice. I don't mind that she doesn't want to play, that doesn't bother me, it's the fact that she refuses to try before quitting. Is this a common thing with kids? I've never seen her so excited before, then it's like someone flipped a switch in her head. Do i push her to play hoping that when she learns a song it takes off, or do I back off, not say another word, and see what happens. I don't want to send the wrong message.

def keep at it. dont be mean, but make her do it once a week or something.

I didnt want to do karate as a kid, but my parents pushed it and i ended up going into Cage fighting (16-18 yrs old).. then into training and now i am a personal trainer (after going through college) So you never know :P

Now im not saying your daughters gonna be a cage fighter, but you need to push it till she is at least decent at it. then you'll knwo if she likes it or not.

its easy to try somethign that requires a lto of skill and suck, and not like it.. its hard to stick with it for a while and realize "hey this is really fun!"

its even harder for kids.

fenderfunker · #17 02-12-2010, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somedumbguy

Nothing kills a child's passion for something faster than being forced to do it.

Encourage her to play, and even try finding ways to keep her interested (instead of learning scales - try teaching her how to play along to her favorite hannah montana song).

But other than that, there isn't much you can do.

And about being common to kids - yes very much so. Your story is EXTREMELY common, just replace "bass lessons" with virtually anything else.

This^^^. Plus, that's the way I teach too. If you don't keep them interested by showing them songs to play along to, they'll turn off. It has to be fun....When they're addicted, then out comes the nasty stuff, like scales and chords.

VinKreepo · #18 02-12-2010, 11:15 PM

To be honest, I hated music for years (my sis used to sing that bad, she drove me crazy : [ ). Anyways, my friend in college kept pestering the mess outta me bout learning an instrument. Their reason? "All your other friends are musical and play one!" even though they themselves didn't. Needless to say, those two finally broke through. I asked for a bass for Christmas after I proved to my mom I could play guitar. She told me, if throughout December, I learned guitar, then she would get me a bass. I practiced so freakin' hard, that my friends now want me to play guitar instead of bass cause I can play both now. Moral of the story? My friends annoyed me and my mom encouraged me. So where are my friends now? They are off doing whatever and don't care what the heck I'm doing (the dropped out and never kept contact). Where's my mom? 6 feet in front of me on the couch : ) encourage your daughter. If she wants to play something else, tell her before you spend the money, to learn that guitar. If she won't do that, then I can promise you she won't have the heart to stick to the next instrument that suits her fancy.

Roy Vogt · #19 02-12-2010, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericw

+1
Recently being a kid.. we're lazy. You've got to force us to actually stick with something. And I wish I had been forced to take piano lessons from the get-go; getting the reading and theory down from the beginning has to be a huge advantage.

I was actually sharing that these poor folks who were FORCED to play didn't when they grew up......
I was pretty much left alone/tolerated when I started playing bass and I ended up doing it for a living. On bad days I wish for the piano lessons and medical school-good thing there's not to many of 'em.

VinKreepo · #20 02-12-2010, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderfunker

This^^^. Plus, that's the way I teach too. If you don't keep them interested by showing them songs to play along to, they'll turn off. It has to be fun....When they're addicted, then out comes the nasty stuff, like scales and chords.

AMEN! I was good enough to be asked to play in the pep band by the director himself at my college. I didn't know what major or minor chords were or scales or anything. Pep band forced me to learn because I needed it bad. So does being in a band. Now, I have people asking me to be a music major and join the Jazz Band at my college (super hard mess). When she knows songs, sahe'll love the guitar. And then when the music theory comes, her love for guitar will surpass any hardship she finds in lesson/learning. And trust me, even being a bassist and knowing music theory makes playing songs so easy. I write music and do all the sheet music for my band and tell them what chords they are playing.

When you play baseball do you go out and try out for a team and practice? No. Your dad usually is the one who first teaches you catch and then you play with friends and then once you're in love with baseball you go try out and practice officially even though you've been practicing all along.