That's a very common problem. I've known lots of seasoned musicians that don't make the difference betweeen a dotted eighth + sixteenth and a tripleted quarter + eighth note group.
The key is to learn to subdivide the beats properly. If you want to play a dotted eighth followed by a sixteenth note, you must subdivide the beat in four equal parts, and tie the first three. Think of a four-syllable word or phrase like "Victor Wooten". From each metronome click to the next, you must be able to pronounce those four syllables equally. You're doing a sixteenth note subdivision. Having that in mind, think of joining the first three syllables (Vic-tor-Woo) in a single note duration and leave the last one (-ten) alone.
In the case of triplets ("swinging"), your're doing something similar, but instead of subdividing the metronome clicks in four equal parts, you're subdividing in three. Again, think of a three-syllable word or phrase ("Les Claypool") and make sure the three syllables are equally distributed on each beat. Then join the first two in a single duration and leave the last alone.
I'm posting a link for downloading some audio examples I created for you (I wanted to post them as an attachment, but I've just noticed that zip files aren't valid anymore. Why?). In these recordings you'll hear a metronome, the desired rhythm played by a piano along with my voice subdividing the beats. That subdivision is what you MUST sing in your head while performing the rhythms. For subdividing, I've used "ta-ca-ta-ca" (sixteenths) and "ta-ca-ta" (triplets), but again, you can use any word(s) you want. Note that both examples are played exactly at the same tempo. The timing difference is minimal, but the character is VERY different from one example to another. For practicing, you can play scales with those rhytmic patterns very slowly and gradually increase the tempo. Make sure that the difference between both rhythms is clear for you and for anyone who hear you (recording yourself is a good idea).
Link:
http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3...V3JF6FDID3SEM8
Let me know if this helped, Leanne.
P.S.: The file will be available for the next seven days only.