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1) When playing finger-style, what percentage of the pluck should be up towards me (parallel to the body of the guitar) or perpendicular to the body?
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You should be hitting the string above that string on your return in order to mute it. So if you are playing a note on the A string your finger should pluck it and come to rest against the E string. This allows you to play up (tonally) from the E to the A without having notes on the E still ringing out.
You don't want to be playing at too much of an angle, but a little angle isn't a problem. If your wrist gets sore when you pluck then I would reduce the angle. If you are wearing your strap at a comfortable height you should be fine.
Let your amp do the work whenever possible, however there are certain times when the tone demands you play hard...certain types of rock/metal. I used to have a crappy 10W when I started and I still play too hard because of it.... For the most part if you are happy with the sound then play light, it will leave room for you to play louder when needed to add dynamics, and you will get a cleaner overall sound, you will also find it easier to move around from string to string.
Get your bass adjusted or do it yourself, the action should be pretty low, I would start by making it as low as you can and raising it from there...Personally I like a really low action, its easier to play/play faster/play cleaner IMO. Some people who are into a lot of slapping keep it a little higher but it sounds like your action is way too high. Make sure that the action is even across all your strings (if you have individual saddles on your bridge) There is no reason to "build muscle" this way, it robbing you of dexterity and speed....if you practice enough you'll have plenty of strength and endurance in a few weeks.
As for cramping I agree its probably your action and you should stretch/warm up. A lot of people use scales and arpeggios and warm up drills and they are a great way to sneak in some productive practice every time you pick up the bass.