Mom wants students changed to guitar

oniman7 · #1 03-04-2013, 04:41 PM

I'm inheriting some students from a teacher at a studio that's retiring. He confided that he has two students who are awesome on bass and have advanced to the Wooten/Claypool level with some double thumbing and tapping and things of that nature. But the mom wants them switched to guitar. She said one in particular she wants to learn a classical style and the other is more flexible.

Now I don't have the details but my gut feeling is that she wants them doing the more "glamorous" or "respectable" instrument based on the fact that she's talked to the other instructor and I about it. Keep in mind these are my words and not hers.

Any thoughts from people on how to handle this are great. I'd hate to see them switched to guitar if bass is where their heart is at. That kind of thing can ruin a person's passion for music. But at the same time, she's their mother and those are her kids. And she is the one paying for the lessons. I've decided to take a passive role until such time as I decide there's a definite way to go.

jchrisk1 · #2 03-04-2013, 04:44 PM

BAD MOM! BAD MOM! BAD MOM!

Kidding. Seriously though. I would ask the kids what they want.

vegas532 · #3 03-04-2013, 05:02 PM

Sorry to the mom, but it's TOTALLY up to her kids. If I had kids with an interest in music, I would play it the same way.

Pilgrim · #4 03-04-2013, 05:03 PM

Need to talk with the kids and mom separately. If I had the chance I'd talk with them forst to find out if they want to switch. If they are that talented, they can play either instrument - but they should play the one they want, not the one she wants them to play.

RxFunk · #5 03-04-2013, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegas532

Sorry to the mom, but it's TOTALLY up to her kids. If I had kids with an interest in music, I would play it the same way.

I agree, but a lot of the time the parents don't play an instrument, so they pick something for you that they like, thinking that you'll be happy just to play anything. Or at least that was my experience.

Mushroo · #6 03-04-2013, 05:09 PM

No pics = no hot mom.

bassinplace · #7 03-04-2013, 05:20 PM

I'd just have a casual conversation about it with the kids at their lesson. If they express they'd like to stick with bass, you should pass that info along to the mom. If they get forced to switch and end up not liking it you might lose them as customers anyway, so it can't hurt to try to provide the best service you can.

**Rick Blanc** · #8 03-04-2013, 06:38 PM

Unfortunately some parents take the attitude that they are paying therefore they call the shots. These two sound a lot like that

soitainly · #9 03-04-2013, 07:59 PM

My opinion is that music is music, and at that age being exposed to different instruments and styles can't be all bad. If the kids don't really care then it's an easy decision. If they can already play bass at a high level, that won't completely go away and they can always go back to it when they are able to make their own choices. The main thing is to learn about the basics, rhythm and harmony and developing your ear, learning about theory. These will apply to any type of music or instrument they take up later in life. The only negative is if they are forced to play an instrument or music they don't like it could ruin their motivation to play/practice.

If they ever need a gig, they will come back to bass

angryclown5 · #10 03-04-2013, 10:45 PM

Learning a chord instrument is a good idea along side learning bass. Piano or guitar. Double thumbing a la Wooten or Claypool will only take one so far.

oniman7 · #11 03-04-2013, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angryclown5

Learning a chord instrument is a good idea along side learning bass. Piano or guitar. Double thumbing a la Wooten or Claypool will only take one so far.

This is true but that thumb and finger dexterity will be great going to the classical guitar! haha. I guess I'll roll with it for now and see what happens.

Orangeclawhamme · #12 03-05-2013, 05:54 AM

CALL CHILDREN'S PROTECTIVE SERVICES!! IMMEDIATLY, IF NOT SOONER!!!!!

Disclaimer: I am a retired CPS worker. I just want to drum up some business for my colleagues who are still working and maybe need more cases.

MalcolmAmos · #13 03-05-2013, 06:28 AM

Mom pays for the lessons, so Mom rules.

Hopefully Mom knows what is best for her kids. I for one would pull my kids out of your studio, if you were not teaching them what I asked you to teach them.

I see nothing wrong with taking on a new instrument. It opens new doors. You got them started on bass, challenge them to take what bass has taught them and fold that into the new instrument.

Let them be something beyond a one trick pony.

dalkowski · #14 03-05-2013, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalcolmAmos

Mom pays for the lessons, so Mom rules.

The Golden Rule, domestic corollary.

(How old are the kids, or did I miss that?)

I don't think it's a bad idea at all for kids to learn more than one instrument, particularly if they've achieved such proficiency on one.

However, it all comes down to the ol' leading a horse to water thing. Mom can pay for guitars and lessons, but if the kids don't love it, they ain't going to practice. Then there's the whole resentment thing. If she's going all Tiger Mom on her kids, she could be doing more harm than good.
Music should be fun above all when you're a kid.

You're smart to be passive before you have all the facts. Good idea to talk to the mom when the time comes and really understand where she's coming from. As a pro teacher, you're in a position to listen to her and then share the pros and cons of what she wants to do. I'll wager she isn't aware of most of them.

Good luck!

fearceol · #15 03-05-2013, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalcolmAmos

Mom pays for the lessons, so Mom rules.

Hopefully Mom knows what is best for her kids. I for one would pull my kids out of your studio, if you were not teaching them what I asked you to teach them.

I see nothing wrong with taking on a new instrument. It opens new doors. You got them started on bass, challenge them to take what bass has taught them and fold that into the new instrument.

Let them be something beyond a one trick pony.

I can see the point you are making. However if a person is forced against their will, for whatever reason, to take on an instrument that they are not particularly interested in, they may not stick with it.

What's wrong with being a one trick pony, if it's what you want to do, and you perform that trick to an excellent level ?

**zcwilkes** · #16 03-05-2013, 07:03 AM

I think the Mom and the kids need to have the talk. I like to think it would be up to the kids to choose. I might tell the kids, "hey if you would rather play bass than guitar you need to tell your mom that". I wouldn't steer them one way or another, its really not my business.

guy n. cognito · #17 03-05-2013, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegas532

Sorry to the mom, but it's TOTALLY up to her kids. If I had kids with an interest in music, I would play it the same way.

Actually, you've got that backwards. If the mom is paying for the instruments and lessons, then it's totally up to her.

funkybass · #18 03-05-2013, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalcolmAmos

Mom pays for the lessons, so Mom rules.

Hopefully Mom knows what is best for her kids. I for one would pull my kids out of your studio, if you were not teaching them what I asked you to teach them.

I see nothing wrong with taking on a new instrument. It opens new doors. You got them started on bass, challenge them to take what bass has taught them and fold that into the new instrument.

Let them be something beyond a one trick pony.

I pretty much only play bass. I know some basic guitar, but I don't claim to be a guitarist. If I was forced to learn guitar I wouldn't practice or enjoy it. My heart is playing bass. Just because the mom is paying for the lessons doesn't mean she knows what's best for her kids. She'd make one heck of a politician though

blue4 · #19 03-05-2013, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Actually, you've got that backwards. If the mom is paying for the instruments and lessons, then it's totally up to her.

This is true, but what a great way to shoot herself in the foot in regards to getting her kids a musical education. If its not a moral, schoolwork, or responsibility issue, imposing one's iron will rarely works out the way you've planned. I can see wanting them to branch out, but there is more than one choice. I tried to halfway force guitar lessions on my daughter and failed. Then I gave her a ukulele on a whim and now she plays. I should have listened better IMO.

dmusic148 · #20 03-05-2013, 08:05 AM

When someone has advanced to the 'Claypool/Wooten level,' you can't realistically expect them to simply drop the instrument for another. But you could urge them to ADD an instrument to their skill set.