This Music Theory thread belongs right here

[onlyclave]

So a C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

[hdracer]

Thanks, That is funny & useful.

[Billnc]

I don't get it, do you have a link to the tabs?

[DeivoxCarnal]

Originally Posted by Billnc

I don't get it, do you have a link to the tabs?

I literally LOL'd

[onlyclave]

What about the circle of fifths? That's really important, right?

[JTE]

So, what mode were they using?

John

[TL5]

Originally Posted by JTE

So, what mode were they using?

John

Depends, for C it ended in an upbeat mode, not so sure about the bartender.

[Bruce Lindfield]

Originally Posted by TL5

Depends, for C it ended in an upbeat mode, not so sure about the bartender.

What do you get, if you drop a piano down a lift shaft?


A Flat Miner!

[251]

Originally Posted by onlyclave

So a C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

"He who would pun, would pick a pocket." - Patrick O'Brien, 'The Far Side of the World'

[mambo4]

The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. ~Edgar Allan Po

[Zolbol]

all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

Hee hee

[onlyclave]

The reason I posted this is because it uses one of the most basic tenets of music theory in a joke form: Intervals.

Every week there is another thread about Circle of Fifths (bullsh*t), Chord-Scales (bullsh*t), Chord Tones (useless without an understanding of intervals), or another "I've mastered [insert useless mode], what do I learn now?" thread.

No where have I found a treatise on intervals, and in a college music theory class day 1 is notes on the staff, day 2 is intervals. If you don't understand WHY you would use and augmented 6th over a minor 7th any discussion beyond TABs and natural minor (aeolian mode, I just had to put that in there because people think the two are identical) is pointless.

I realize this is going to fall on deaf ears, but the next thread extolling the virtues of the Circle of Fifths is going to make me put my fist through my monitor.

[Fergie Fulton]

Originally Posted by onlyclave

I realize this is going to fall on deaf ears, but the next thread extolling the virtues of the Circle of Fifths is going to make me put my fist through my monitor.

LOL this is the point of education, you repeat the same info over and over again and again because it is always new to someone. So long as new players take up music so the same questions will come up again and again. I see why any teacher can become jaded because each year it is new student but the same info.
But i agree on the intervals side. Learning to identify intervals is a great skill to develop and ultimately one of the most rewarding to a gigging/depping player.

[251]

Originally Posted by onlyclave

The reason I posted this is because it uses one of the most basic tenets of music theory in a joke form: Intervals.

Every week there is another thread about Circle of Fifths (bullsh*t), Chord-Scales (bullsh*t), Chord Tones (useless without an understanding of intervals), or another "I've mastered [insert useless mode], what do I learn now?" thread.

No where have I found a treatise on intervals, and in a college music theory class day 1 is notes on the staff, day 2 is intervals. If you don't understand WHY you would use and augmented 6th over a minor 7th any discussion beyond TABs and natural minor (aeolian mode, I just had to put that in there because people think the two are identical) is pointless.

I realize this is going to fall on deaf ears, but the next thread extolling the virtues of the Circle of Fifths is going to make me put my fist through my monitor.

& here I thought you posted for the Humor. Satisfy my curiosity. This is a bulletin board. Why are you reading things that irritate you?

Life is short, find things that make you smile. The rest is landscape. 8-)

[mambo4]

I think that the various aspects of theory (chords,scales,modes,intervals, chord scales etc ect) are so interdependent that a solid understanding of any one will necessarily include a solid understanding of the rest.

Each aspect of theory describes how notes relate to each other in pairs or larger groups.
Intervals would be the most granular way of seeing that, and a certainly fundamental.
but it doesn't make the other patterns irrelevant.

[fearceol]

Originally Posted by 251

Life is short, find things that make you smile. The rest is landscape. 8-)

I agree.

I would have thought that TB was big and varied enough for a person to filter out and enjoy what interests and pleases him.