Playing the bass- a good help or not?

J.Nuno · #1 11-13-2012, 03:58 AM

Hi,

My girlfriend likes music a lot but she has a big "problem" with rhythm and even with notes themselves. She can't do basic clapping patterns or even sing any popular theme-song that we've heard since we were kids, without missing notes or getting the wrong rhythm.

I'd like her to play the bass (or any instrument really - I have a few at home) and I've encouraged her to learn how to play it but she doesn't seem interested and gives up minutes later because of her "inability". So I think she doesn't really try at all...

Do you think she should really try to learn how to play, as with time she will do it and it might help her or will it certainly be hard, frustrating and hard for her to play anything?

Cheers

(Not sure if right forum)

Joe Nerve · #2 11-13-2012, 04:10 AM

No. I don't think it's a good idea at all. For about 1000 reasons. Let her find something she wants to do and is good at, and then support her in doing that. Pushing her to do something she's not good at and doesn't enjoy is only going to make her have bad feelings towards herself, and you.

lowfreq33 · #3 11-13-2012, 05:12 AM

Dude, don't waste your time trying to push her to learn something she really isn't into. She's humoring you right now, but in the long run it'll just cause arguments. Honestly, you don't have to be joined at the hip.

**Rick Blanc** · #4 11-13-2012, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Nerve

No. I don't think it's a good idea at all. For about 1000 reasons. Let her find something she wants to do and is good at, and then support her in doing that. Pushing her to do something she's not good at and doesn't enjoy is only going to make her have bad feelings towards herself, and you.

What he said.

No Neck Shrek · #5 11-13-2012, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Nerve

No. I don't think it's a good idea at all. For about 1000 reasons. Let her find something she wants to do and is good at, and then support her in doing that. Pushing her to do something she's not good at and doesn't enjoy is only going to make her have bad feelings towards herself, and you.

^^^^THIS ^^ Listen to Joe Nerve (its what I would have said if he hadn't already

)

J.Nuno · #6 11-13-2012, 06:43 AM

I get your message

But maybe I didn't explain it correctly. I don't desperately want her to play, I just think it would be fun if she did. Never did I push her towards it or insisted. Nothing like that.
The only thing I ever told her was "look, maybe if you try and practice you'll understand rhythm and get good at it".

It's just... what if she actually likes it and just doesn't try because she thinks she can't do it? You don't let autistic people alone and quite, you encourage them to interact! (just a random analogy

)

Lo-E · #7 11-13-2012, 06:47 AM

Fun for you, or fun for her? It sounds to me like she's not into it.
She shouldn't play bass because you're into the idea, she should play because she's into the idea - and it sure doesn't sound like she is.

J.Nuno · #8 11-13-2012, 07:03 AM

I was thinking of it more like a therapy that she could end up enjoying. She loves music after all...

You all think I desperately want her to play. You're misinterpreting me.

My question was more: do you think playing music could help a person with rhythm/sound problems, the same way exercising the brain helps people with neuronal problems?

fearceol · #9 11-13-2012, 07:04 AM

I agree with what has been said so far. I'm sure your girlfriend is mature and intellegent enough to know what she does and does not like.

If she does not want to even try and see if she would like playing the bass, then that's her call, and you should respect it.

VeganThump · #10 11-13-2012, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.Nuno

You don't let autistic people alone and quite, you encourage them to interact! (just a random analogy

)

The fact that you compared your girlfriend to a person with autism made me laugh harder than I probably should have, how about you make that same comparison to her next time she quits practicing and let me know how that goes over haha!

jamminology101 · #11 11-13-2012, 07:38 AM

Do this...if u play bass which I assume since u r on this thread...learn the bass line to a song u know she likes and play along in front of her....if she thinks its kinda cool teach it to her. If she doesn't dig that than there's no shot...

Chief2112 · #12 11-13-2012, 08:13 AM

It makes absolutely no difference if you were "pushing" her to try to learn or not. The bottom line is that if she was REALLY interested in learning you'd know it already.

J.Nuno · #13 11-13-2012, 08:32 AM

Nobody is even listening (reading) right so thanks but forget it.

Hulktopus · #14 11-13-2012, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Nerve

No. I don't think it's a good idea at all. For about 1000 reasons. Let her find something she wants to do and is good at, and then support her in doing that. Pushing her to do something she's not good at and doesn't enjoy is only going to make her have bad feelings towards herself, and you.

This +100000000000000

AaronMB · #15 11-13-2012, 08:39 AM

Quote:

My question was more: do you think playing music could help a person with rhythm/sound problems, the same way exercising the brain helps people with neuronal problems?

Perhaps - but the individual has to want to seriously do it for themselves, not for someone else. I think the misinterpretation here--that you're not understanding--is that this sounds more like 'your' idea and not totally hers. If she came to you with this specific request it would probably be taken a little differently; it's hard to really know why she's giving up only a few minutes into it, but for what it's worth, and no offense, it sounds to me, too, like she's humoring you because this is your idea. If she really wants to try something like this, start with clapping/tapping along with a metronome. ...Watch Footloose?

Tmw2011 · #16 11-13-2012, 11:49 AM

I see both sides of the argument here and there's a lot of valid points.

OP, if you were to approach doing this, your route would need to be 'fun' for not only both of you, but something she'd enjoy doing alone. You say she digs music. Does she like games (PS3/XBox360/PC)? Something to consider (while slightly expensive) is Rocksmith by UbiSoft. (Check the threads around here). I know a few people that have been rhythmically challenged and wouldn't necessarily think of picking up an instrument enjoy the heck out of this game and playing music.

It also does have several benefits pertaining to your situation as well. You can get an additional input cord so you both can play together. It's got an ok selection of music available that's growing larger (and will hopefully continue at a nice pace). It has an adaptive leveler for learning the songs. At bare minimum, it gets the player to still feel like they're playing along, even though they may not be hitting all the notes. And unlike the Guitar Hero type of games, it doesn't discourage you by having the audience boo you for a poor performance.

Just be warned, it does have it's quirks though (especially the PC version as of late... grrr) and can get really expensive if you get caught up in it and start getting all the DLC. And I know a few people around here may look down on it, because it really teaches NOTHING about the theory side of things. But it does at least have technique tutorial videos and mini-games aimed towards different techniques that you can unlock as well.

Just a thought that came to my mind. Just don't continue to push it on her if she does try and isn't having a good time.

Disclaimer - I have no relationship with Ubi other than using their product for my personal enjoyment and edification.

drummer5359 · #17 11-13-2012, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.Nuno

I was thinking of it more like a therapy that she could end up enjoying. She loves music after all...

You all think I desperately want her to play. You're misinterpreting me.

My question was more: do you think playing music could help a person with rhythm/sound problems, the same way exercising the brain helps people with neuronal problems?

No, it won't help in my opinion. I've been playing music for over forty years. I have a brother who has been a musician even longer.

We have a sister who couldn't clap in time at gunpoint. It annoys her to no end, particularly when people comment on our musical family. But, as much as she would like to get better, it just will never happen. Keep in mind that my sister has the desire to learn.

Without natural ability or desire it is unlikely that your girlfriend has a chance.

fearceol · #18 11-13-2012, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.Nuno

Nobody is even listening (reading) right so thanks but forget it.

I think people are listening/reading very well indeed. It's just that you did not get the replies that you were hoping for, or expecting.

Chief2112 · #19 11-14-2012, 12:49 AM

Based on your OP everyone certainly read it correctly.

If you just wanted to know if there is help for anyone "rhythmically challenged" then you should have left your girlfriend out of it.

My wife has zero rhythm and, in turn, has zero interest in doing anything that magnifies it. :-)

Spin Doctor · #20 11-14-2012, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.Nuno

Nobody is even listening (reading) right so thanks but forget it.

Yeah, forget it is a good way to go. You're looking for a certain answer. You want someone to say "yeah, it's a good idea. It will be cool."

It won't be. I mean, really. The girl can't even clap her freakin hands in time. How the hell do you think she's gonna be able to play bass? Clue???