Too scared\insecure to play in front of people..

[kydnav]

I can play the tunes I need to play, I can play them in front of the people I know and trust (IE, I can play in front of my teacher and girlfriend) but every other person and I chicken out, start sweating and can't play to save my life anymore..

The worst part of it is of course trying to play in a band.. I want to, and I know I'm good enough for it. I'm just too scared.

And I have a band auditioning soon. The songs aren't out of my league, I can play them. No prob.
Just not with people there.

So, please help a sister out!

[Baryonyx]

Relax, and don't make eye contact with anyone if you're bricking it. If you can, try wearing sunglasses, they give you something to hide behind.

[JimmyM]

If you stink up the joint with your playing, nobody will beat you up. So go play and have fun!

[Rune Bivrin]

Remember:
Nobody notices or cares about how you look, except yourself.
Nobody notices or cares about your playing, except yourself.
It's when you start talking people notice how incoherent you are, and they'll attribute it to your being nervous rather than an asshat.

Me, I work the other way around. Playing to wife, kids or friends in a small setting can be nerve wrecking. I'll have to be able to look them in the eyes the next day. Playing on a large scene in front of a thousand people is like taking the subway. Just a bunch of faces, and they're just as disinterested in me as I am in them.

So, in the words of Winston Churchill: You've got nothing to fear but fear itself.

[bassforce]

Rune Birvin wrote a very wise words. If they're not enough - use this marvelous tools



Essencial for me

[Rune Bivrin]

Suddenly Kiss, Slipknot, and The Residents makes sense. Scared bunch of losers, all of them.

[Mark Perry]

Originally Posted by Rune Bivrin

Me, I work the other way around. Playing to wife, kids or friends in a small setting can be nerve wrecking. I'll have to be able to look them in the eyes the next day. Playing on a large scene in front of a thousand people is like taking the subway. Just a bunch of faces, and they're just as disinterested in me as I am in them..

+1. I've had few problems playing in my church band (once to about 1000 people), but i struggle if it's just me and a bunch of mates, or me trying a bass in a guitar shop. Though it'd be different, if i was playing a straight gig, where there was more attention on my playing.

ime, (from someone who's naturally shy) playing in front of people is something you get used to.

[Deacon_Blues]

When I was playing the flute in music school (age about 12-14) I once had to perform a classical piece solo in front of a small audience of perhaps 20 people. I literally shaked on it, resulting in a huge vibrato, lots of cold sweat and a red face, not nice . I just felt too insecure on the flute and with the classical music. Neither did I have a very developed musicality back then.

Later I started playing the guitar and sing, and I formed my first band around '95 at the age of 16/17. I've never had any issues with nervousness when playing the guitar or sing. Sure I get nervous sometimes, especially if I'm going to play in front of a totally new kind of audience, but it usually disappears once I start playing. I know what I can do and I'm pretty confident in my playing and singing.

On stage, only thing I'm not too confident in yet is to handle the talking between songs...

[Humblerumble]

When I was a youngster around 13 or 14 years old I used to jam with a much better guitarist who was and still is brutal on other musicians. It was hard to have any confidence, but if you find a group of musicians that are "normal" and about your skill level you will grow more comfortable and confident. I remember playing my first real paying gig in a local bar and being nervous as a cat. When the music kicked off it was a surreal moment because my mind was racing BUT my hands were playing the song that I had practiced so many times flawlessly. Almost like auto pilot. Practice hard, find a good group of people to jam with and the hat and sunglasses aren't a bad idea either

[ALiP BoB]

Originally Posted by Rune Bivrin

Suddenly Kiss, Slipknot, and The Residents makes sense. Scared bunch of losers, all of them.

Quote worthy man, quote worthy.

[DocBop]

Just get out there and do it, it's no different than anything we all do in public. Same as walking down the street, going to park to play a game, your just going out to have some fun. After you play the first couple notes all the fears go away you focus on playing with the other members of the band. You look back at the audence and they are bouncing to the music and all is good. Relax and enjoy.

[omeany2]

First of all don't worry about the band. The initial nerves will wear off after one practice. If they are not cool to you then F them. For most music you don't have to be brilliant on the instrument to be a solid bass player. Most rock bass playing is 3 notes and relies more on timing and feel. I would be honest up front when you audition. Say, I'm relatively new to the instrument, this my first band and I'm nervous. Chances you don't give yourself as much credit as you deserve. (IF you practice..)

On stage always remember. No one in the audience notices your mistakes. Honestly, on rock bass, it takes a pretty big screw up to cut through the problems in the mix and all of the general noise in a club. Your band mates might notice something but audience members will have no clue. Trust me. I've walked off stage many times completely defeated because of a bad performance, only to find that no one I talked to had a clue what the hell I was talking about. In fact you tend to look worse if you complain about your performance for that reason. So, remember that no matter what happened on stage, when you are walking around talking to people after the show, you KICKED ASS UP THERE.

I used to get stage fright. I would have this exact thought while up there, "what if I forgot the entire song right now." And sure enough, at that moment I would draw a blank, my face would go flush, every face in the audience would warp and start laughing at me. Then seconds later I'd realize that I'd started playing the song again and would laugh at myself.

I got over that problem by letting muscle memory do all of the work. Basically, like in many sports, you want to dumb down and let your hours of practice take over. Don't think about what you are playing, just let your feel for the music take over. And, don't look at people in the eye. I like to look over everyone to the back of the room. Most of the time you can't see anything past the lights anyway. If you look through or beyond the audience, I think it gives a larger than life air. Maybe I'm full of ****.. I do know that it keeps you from locking eyes with someone up front and getting distracted. If you are really to nervous, then trun your back to the crowd. F'em. See Jim Morrison.

If you learn the songs. know them inside and out, you can learn to let muscle memory take over on stage.

Anyway I'm rambling...Just try to have fun. If it ain't fun then you should go read a book instead.

[BassChuck]

Originally Posted by Rune Bivrin

Remember:
Nobody notices or cares about how you look, except yourself.
Nobody notices or cares about your playing, except yourself.
It's when you start talking people notice how incoherent you are, and they'll attribute it to your being nervous rather than an asshat.

Me, I work the other way around. Playing to wife, kids or friends in a small setting can be nerve wrecking. I'll have to be able to look them in the eyes the next day. Playing on a large scene in front of a thousand people is like taking the subway. Just a bunch of faces, and they're just as disinterested in me as I am in them.

So, in the words of Winston Churchill: You've got nothing to fear but fear itself.

+1 on everything except that quote... it was FDR.

[bassclefman]

I don't get nervous playing to a crowd of ordinary people they won't notice your mistakes but when you're playing a gig and there's other good cats in the audience then i tend to get a little shaky and lose my focus, what i learned is to totally ignore them pretend they are not there and play you heart out and have some fun a good bass player in the audience will notice your mistakes but don't let that stop you from having fun and relax.

[freakonaleash]

Originally Posted by Deacon_Blues

When I was playing the flute in music school (age about 12-14) I once had to perform a classical piece solo in front of a small audience of perhaps 20 people. I literally shaked on it, resulting in a huge vibrato, lots of cold sweat and a red face, not nice . I just felt too insecure on the flute and with the classical music. Neither did I have a very developed musicality back then.

Ach! I had a very similar experience at the same age playing classical piano to a fairly small audience, twas horrible!

I find smaller audiences nowadays still harder to play to than gigging with the band to a bigger crowd, but not to the same extent as when I was younger, in that I am more comfortable with myself and happy to be doing what I am without worrying what others think.

[chasfr]

Stage fright is perfectly normal, and most people will experience it at one time or another. For some, experience will help to overcome it. Work on relaxation, and *remember to breathe*. Really.

If that's not enough--and for some people, stage fright can reach the level of a phobia--you might want to talk to your doctor to see if there's help available for you there.

And remember, have fun!

Good luck,
Chas

[metalmariachi]

When I started I was like that, I could jam with any one but not play to an audience.
The quick solution is, bring a change of cloths, just before going on wet yourself, throw up and change cloths.
Ok that worked for a friend and me in jump school. He’d wet himself and I’d throw up, go jump out of the plane and do it all over again until we graduated.

I can't do the ‘picture the audience naked’ thing, there’s always one woman in the audience (several after a beer or two) who make me forget my bass lines without that image.

So I would just concentrate on the drummer and ignore every thing else. It finally got better.
Now I’d rather play in front of strangers than friends. Friends and band members will rag you all week about what you wore, or the mistake on the 10th song, and strangers will just say ‘You suck’ or ‘That was awesome let me buy you a beer’ either way I get paid for making noise and having fun.

MM

[christobass 416]

I don't know about you, kydnav, but being afraid to play in front of people was part of a much bigger problem for me. I had all kinds of ridiculous anxiety. At my lunch table in high school, if I heard someone laugh across the room, I'd think they were laughing at me. I used to almost always think people were mocking me.
Of course, it's different for everyone, but realizing how ridiculous I felt helped me out. I know I couldn't care less about making fun of someone who's doing absolutely nothing wrong, so why would anyone else? And if people are mocking me, who cares. F*ck 'em. Why bother with 'em?
You have to realize it's all you, it's all in your head. There is nothing outside of your head that is making you feel that anxiety or pressure.

[Rune Bivrin]

Originally Posted by BassChuck

+1 on everything except that quote... it was FDR.

Yeah, it was a shot in the dark. Most good quotes are either Churchill, Mae West or Groucho Marx. Out of these three, WC seemed the most likely offender.

[Just J]

I've DJed (not a wedding/mobile DJ, I played clubs, parties, etc) for a while, so that helped when it came time to play in a band in front of people. However, as a DJ, I'm only directly involved in what people are hearing maybe for 15 mins out of an hour long set, as a bassist, I'm "on" the entire song. I'm also in a acoustic duo with the singer. That's a bit rougher because you're more "out there," no loud electrics and no drummer to help enforce the rhythm.

I used a few things to help calm my nerves playing out.

1) Your position on stage allows you some spots to "hide". You can stand back next to the drummer behind the guitarist and attract very little attention. This helps keep the eyes off you as most people will likely be watching the singer and/or lead.

2) Your average person will NOT notice you screw up unless it's bad. Many people don't even notice the bassline, they just notice the bass is there. If you're throwing down a wicked bassline, people will notice. If it's adequate to keep the song moving, people won't, they'll just notice the song rocks.

3) Wear glasses/hats. It's weird, but whenever I feel like I'm going into an uncomfortable place, I usually leave my sunglasses on. People can't see my eyes, so I can feel like I'm hidden and can watch everyone. My shades are dark enough to where people can't see my eyes, but light enough and polarized so as long as the place has decent lighting, I can see clearly.

4) This kinda goes with 3 because it's easier to do with shades. Avoid looking for approval from the crowd. I just kinda watch people and see what they're doing. If I see someone dancing, or watching in approval, cool, but I'm usually just "people watching" for entertainment.

5) Enjoy the music. Seriously, this'll take you at least a few songs before you can relax enough, but don't be afraid to "get into it." I've seen many many great guitarists, bassists and drummers just playing with little to no emotion. Have fun. If you're getting into the song, it comes out in the music and other people feed off of this.

When it came time to do the rehersal, the most important thing I tried to remember was "Do what you can do."

Do NOT get fancy. Avoid throwing in crazy fills all over the place, avoid trying to spice up the rhythm more than neccessary. Just do what you can do, show them you can be a rock on the bottom end and with time you'll be able to have more fun.

I don't consider my self a great bassist, but I'm in two "bands" (full band, and the acoustic duo) and actively gigging. I've also been invited to start another band, and was in one for a while about a year ago. I'm also SUPER shy, and really don't like playing infront of people either. If I can do it, I know for sure you can.