| I think a lot of it is tonal center and exposure. First, the more and more exposed you are to this type of harmony, the more and more you can recognize patterns. I strongly believe jazz studies are critical for this. I've found a lot of Monk and Coltrane tunes to have very interesting harmonies, that I spend a decent amount of time analyzing. (Real Book). So, exposing yourself to it aurally and visually is extremely beneficial.
Also, with tonal center, you can refer what you're hearing to the overall key of the song. While you're still going to have odd tensions that don't always make clear sense, but for the most part, you can understand how something is being resolved, better understanding the original tensions.
Does that help at all, or am I smoking crack? |