band problemo

quadebass17 · #1 12-03-2007, 06:12 PM

hello.

i've heard this story before kinda.

here we go.

i just recently joined a "remnant" band of the previous band they were in. I am their promoter/producer and so ive known them for a while. and i know their personalities.

i origanally didn't really want to do this. I was kinda forced.
The guitarard seems to think he's the best singer and guitarist the world's EVER seen. I will admit he's good, but his vocals are..... well, decent. I have gotten commented before and most everyone wants me to be lead singer.

everytime we practice or get together, i ALWAYS get to hear about how "beginner" i am or how much i need to "learn" and all this and that. I'm not the best, but i've worked very hard and i know that i can play with most people.

and i'm tired of it.

and i know this statement will touch some waters,
BUT he wants me to "use a pick to learn it since i suck"

honestly, i just about NEVER use picks and i don't like the sound of playing with a pick usually.

he also wants me to get a pedal to distortion my bass.

so, in a burst, i said

" if i wanted to be a guitarist, i would've started along time ago"

(refering to the pick and distortion thing)

anyways, i'm already fed up with it.

What should i do?

and some more background,

the drummer is my best friend, and He and I were "recruited" to this band.

The rhythm guitarist is a good friend, but we don't hang all the time.

the lead guitard/vocalist is a friend, but he gets on my nerves.
he's one of those guys who doesn't bend his decision.

The old rhythm guitarist QUIT becuase the lead guitarist didn't want to change HIS song to rock like the rhythm guy did.

The lead guitarist experimented with it and the song was a hit as a rock version. He still fumes over that.

???!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

help!?!?!?!!?

dman_113 · #2 12-03-2007, 06:15 PM

wrong forum brother try the "band management" forum

Bass Mule · #3 12-03-2007, 06:26 PM

I wouldn't worry if I were you. Just remember:
You're only in middle school for a few years, then it's high school, where none of that middle school b.s. matters. After that, college, where none of that high school b.s. matters.

SoLongJake · #4 12-03-2007, 06:31 PM

I'd tell the sweetheart who keeps talking down to you to kindly get bent, and shove his band where the son doesn't shine. Life's too short to put up with crap like that.

BassBob185 · #5 12-04-2007, 06:09 AM

Unless you are in servitude I'm not sure why you are still in this band.

vegas532 · #6 12-04-2007, 12:02 PM

If there is one person who is a problem, get rid of that person! If it's his band, let him do it himself...the rest of you should do your own thing. It seems to me that this guy is in it only to have his ego stroked, not to make music!

DZIB · #7 12-05-2007, 10:51 AM

Since you really didn't want to do it in the first place, why not quit? Sounds like typical prima donna lead guitarist to me. It doesn't matter how talented someone is if they can't play with other musicians. As he gets older he will either realize he's an a-hole or will wind up getting a MIDI setup so he can "collaborate" with non-human musicians. We've all dealt with these idiots. Since there is really nothing on the line, I would either kick him out, leave, or reform the band with your friends and get a guitarist that you all can get along with and have fun.

My best friend growing up was exactly like that. Brilliant keyboard player (and songwriter) as long as he was by himself. Cost me a huge, long-term gig with Neil Cloud (Rabbit, Trevor Rabin, Peter Frampton) because I brought him in. He pissed Neil off so badly the whole thing started falling apart. He would stay on his keys playing Keith Emerson licks while Neil was trying to discuss arrangements, etc. Always trying to impress, but when it came down to it he couldn't play even the simplest stuff because he never thought in context about anything. It was always about him. I haven't talked to him for 15 years. Last I heard he was delivering pizza and doing MIDI crap that nobody will ever hear. It's poetic justice, but kind of sad too.

Good luck and don't listen to people like him. He will tell everyone they suck as that raises his relative status in his own skewed opinion. He's obviously extremely insecure.

tZer · #8 12-05-2007, 11:43 AM

A good thing to learn early on is that you cannot control or change people. You can only control and change yourself.

If you are in a situation where another person is too much to deal with, you have the ability to choose to leave, choose to ignore him, choose to... But the bottom line is that you need to choose how you allow this person's behavior to impact you.

If I were in your shoes and was half way interested in the band, I'd simply tell him that I'll take his suggestions into consideration and thank him for his input. Then I'd do whatever the hell I felt like doing. If you keep letting his commentary roll off your back without any reaction or response other than, "Thanks! I'll take that into consideration!" - then you go about things your own way, eventually he'll either implode or figure out that he should keep his opinions to himself.

vegas532 · #9 12-05-2007, 11:34 PM

We used to have a saying in a cover band I played inmany moons ago..."You are a unique individual who brings his own unique experiences to the table, and you can never be duplicated...you can, however, be replaced!"

Deathblade Eric · #10 12-06-2007, 12:24 AM

Walk, or sack the banjo player.

Your choice.

Audiophage · #11 12-06-2007, 03:10 PM

Your guitarist sounds like a putz, I wouldn't play with him.

quadebass17 · #12 12-07-2007, 10:57 PM

yeah, we had another practice, but the rhthym guitarist, who is the medium between us, wasn't there. so the lead guy and i got all into a huge argument about my bass lines so i told him i was leaving. i picked up my bass and drove home. he called and apoligized. I'm kind of interested in this band, but i don't want to screw him over. he's a great songwriter, but he wants to do his own thing now i hear.. i don't know.
but i'm working something together with a friend of mine, who plays guitar, on a band and i'd bring the drummer with me. I'm hoping that will work out.
i'm still not happy with the other band, but hey, i guess if they pay me for the shows its all good.

anyways, i just got a new 410 and a new Ampeg Classic and i swear to god if he touches it, i will break his precious SG in half.

anyways, i'm going to be tons louder than him, so i'll have to restrict myself a bit. but i'm going to have some fun while i'm at it. Stage antics always make me feel better! :]

BassBob185 · #13 12-08-2007, 05:42 AM

Good luck dude and good for you for standing your ground. Whenever he decides to dump on you just crank up your amp all the way and tell him you can't hear what he is saying.

DZIB · #14 12-08-2007, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quadebass17

yeah, we had another practice, but the rhthym guitarist, who is the medium between us, wasn't there. so the lead guy and i got all into a huge argument about my bass lines so i told him i was leaving. i picked up my bass and drove home. he called and apoligized. I'm kind of interested in this band, but i don't want to screw him over. he's a great songwriter, but he wants to do his own thing now i hear.. i don't know.
but i'm working something together with a friend of mine, who plays guitar, on a band and i'd bring the drummer with me. I'm hoping that will work out.
i'm still not happy with the other band, but hey, i guess if they pay me for the shows its all good.

anyways, i just got a new 410 and a new Ampeg Classic and i swear to god if he touches it, i will break his precious SG in half.

anyways, i'm going to be tons louder than him, so i'll have to restrict myself a bit. but i'm going to have some fun while i'm at it. Stage antics always make me feel better! :]

If he's a good player and you guys are getting along that's good. You want to play with the best musicians you can to elevate your playing. Just stand your ground. The fact he apologized quickly says a lot.

Good luck bro'!!