The Praise and Worship Band Bassists Club part 22

[joelb79]

Originally Posted by MissingHighs

This guy (singular - he only operates that way) will not talk to me; full-stop! Approaching him would have returned nothing more than snarls.

No offense to anybody- but this is the reason why I will not play at church after a unpaid career of over 15 years doing so. I walked out of church and have never looked back. You can only walk into a church building for so long being ignored, scowled, laughed at, or gossiped about for so long before you realize that your not among the called out ones.

For me in the 7 years with this church not one conversation from the pastor one on one. In fact, the pastors would run and avoid me when I was around except for the time when we pray before the service. If I tried to engage them, I would get the blank amused stare that said "Oh no, the weird one is talking to me." Not one thank you from any of the three pastors, except the music director. But I would watch the pastors thank everybody else and bend over backwards to invite them over for whatever to their house after church. But for me not one invite over to their houses to hang out and fellowship even though the rest of the band did regularly. Not one attempt to make it past acquaintance pleasantries ever. No, the typical conversation was about being a consumer. Or football. Or their iPhones. Or iPad. Or, what every is trending on the internet.

When my family was without food, we went without food. Even if the church knew about it they would make people apply for government food assistance and housing assistance before they would help you; yet they required you to give 10% regardless of your income. When we had threat of being homeless, no help there either. But of course, they also expected me to come up with $1500 to spend on airfare and their "accommodations" so I could do a missions trip in some other country at an orphanage they basically payed to put up; so I could see "real poverty." All the while I am seeing real poverty, eviction notices, bill shitoff dates, ect. You name it. The irony.

I started to feel as though all this rock n' roll, rap, electronic, dance music, art shows, coffee bars and whatever-version-of-the-bible-makes-this-verse-sound-best-to-our-itching-ears-feel-best modern and culturally relevant gospel is man made bricks and mortar not built on the Chief Cornerstone of the bible. I had to go with my gut and I have left the church after 15 years of bass playing in them and I refuse to go back; there is no denomination or church around that looks attractive to me anymore. They are all Rick Warren "Purpose Driven" atrocities to me in my area. Very few churches actually are doing what the bible says anymore. They Focus only on baby food for the masses and never diving into the real meat of the bible, ect.

I don't know why I'm posting this- I never joined this P&W club. I've posted here a few times maybe that's why I feel the connection and why I spent 30 minutes typing this. I really just feel called to say this and leave it at this. I'm not looking for a pitty response back, I know my experience might be different at some other church, but at this point in my life I doubt it. I've grown up in church my whole life.. and let me tell you what; the deeper inside them you get the darker they get. My dad was a pastor in an area church and we found out the hard way how un-biblical a church can be: When ladies in the church came to my father in counseling about what sexual abuse one elder was doing to them (multiple victims) only to have my dad loose his job of many years when confronting the elder; who also just happened to be the superintendent of the school system that employed my mother as a librarian.

My reason for posting this to get somebody to think about what their clique driven mega do to people who never fit in except just when they are volunteering. After everything that I've learned from churches in my lifetime from their behavior, I have to think that there is a better way. I am done going to church and refuse to play in their bands from now on. I have been burned too hard by it all. When I hear other people saying they cannot even engage in conversation with people, it hits home too hard. I cannot image a loving God being too happy about all this.

[SoVeryTired]

^ Welcome to the human race. We're messed up in every way possible and we need help. Find a group of poeple willing to admit it and you'll be alright.

[joelb79]

Originally Posted by SoVeryTired

^ Welcome to the human race. We're messed up in every way possible and we need help. Find a group of poeple willing to admit it and you'll be alright.

I thought Christians were supposed to be those people. What about all the bible verses with the words "Let not be found among you.." What happened to repentance?

I hope this isn't seen as "trolling", rather just want Christians to think on these things. I consider myself a Christian, so I really hope this isn't seen that way among us.

[SoVeryTired]

Originally Posted by joelb79

I thought Christians were supposed to be those people. What about all the bible verses with the words "Let not be found among you.." What happened to repentance?

I hope this isn't seen as "trolling", rather just want Christians to think on these things. I consider myself a Christian, so I really hope this isn't seen that way among us.

One of the big ways people are messed up is pretending to be something they're not. And, like it or not, the Church is made up of people. Whatever your motivation I don't read it as trolling, it's pretty much truth, to varying degrees amongst different gatherings. We'll never find the 'perfect church', just some doing better than others.

I've seen my fair share of the ugly side of people and churches (my Dad's a pastor). All I know is that I make sure my faith is in God, not people - the latter are 100% guaranteed to fail (me particularly). And the more open people are about their imperfections and the less they try to put up a shiny Christian front, the more I'll connect with them.

[MissingHighs]

Originally Posted by joelb79

No offense to anybody- but this is the reason <--snip-->

I got this far and thought "hoo boy! here we go, I'm gonna get a right royal blasting for posting what I did on TB", picked up my coffee, and continued reading....

...and finished by crying.

The way I could react to my situation is to just pack my kit and walk. Why put up with all this nonsense. Well, if Christ had done the same thing, looked at us, and said "no way", and packed His kit and walked, where would we all be?

He never gave up on me. So why give up on others? I've asked that He grace me with the humble ability to show them how it is meant to be done. I've messed up, and been forgiven. Therefore, how many times must I forgive this sound guy?... till I have lost count and then some.

And, by the way, it is often the 'weird' people who land up being the most interesting to talk to!

"Who am I to hold my arms folded in front of me, not letting anyone near, while personally benefiting from Christ's outstretched arms.... as they drove the nails home".

May God richly bless you, bring you back into His fold, and lead you to a Church you can call 'home'.

M. <><

[SoVeryTired]

^ One thing I've learned in life - there's always someone who can express what I'm thinking better than I can!

[SoVeryTired]

It's a bass-free week for me (I'm sure I'll find a way of coping). Actually, that's a good thing - I'm meant to have a break from playing once a month but usually end up covering for someone else. This week I can just worship without worrying what anyone else is doing - it feels almost selfish compared to helping others to worship but we all need a chance to step back and for it to just be about God.

We had a meeting last night to discuss music for our Christmas production. refreshingly, and deliberately, it's not the common practice of 'overload all the guys who are already doing loads'. This year we're doing three services (more presentations really) involving lots of acting, dancing, singing and some music as well. Just three songs, some extra instrumental work for the keys, and that's it. It feels wonderfully relaxed compared to Christmas past!

[joelb79]

Originally Posted by MissingHighs

I got this far and thought "hoo boy! here we go, I'm gonna get a right royal blasting for posting what I did on TB", picked up my coffee, and continued reading....

...and finished by crying.

No crying allowed! Joking

Originally Posted by MissingHighs

The way I could react to my situation is to just pack my kit and walk. Why put up with all this nonsense. Well, if Christ had done the same thing, looked at us, and said "no way", and packed His kit and walked, where would we all be?

He never gave up on me. So why give up on others? I've asked that He grace me with the humble ability to show them how it is meant to be done. I've messed up, and been forgiven. Therefore, how many times must I forgive this sound guy?... till I have lost count and then some.

Quite right. It wasn't right for me to just give up, but I did fight it out for a year after making the decision; and I came every week with the intention to change my interactions with everybody and to make it a point to be more involved and fellowship but it made no difference. I do forgive them all; but this church I was in is still part of the body and therefore a part of us as a whole as well.

Originally Posted by MissingHighs

And, by the way, it is often the 'weird' people who land up being the most interesting to talk to!

"Who am I to hold my arms folded in front of me, not letting anyone near, while personally benefiting from Christ's outstretched arms.... as they drove the nails home".

May God richly bless you, bring you back into His fold, and lead you to a Church you can call 'home'.

M. <><

Thank you for your advice and I do hope to find another church some day. I have kids who got involved and a wife too with a similar story with the same church rejecting her and being judgemental, ect even to her face. She lost interest in going for over a year, but I kept going being the selfish bass player getting what I could out of the situation myself. It's been rough just walking away, but it was the right thing to do.

Making it harder, nobody has come after me or even said "what gives" even after 7 years of being their bass player they loved to hear play but never talked too. People seem to not care that we're gone after 7 years of being around, wife, kids, funky bass and all. The new bass player seems to be more a friend than me; but it's good to know that my leaving has gifted them with somebody not so strange that fits in with the whole football iphone culture thing better.

I guess I should highlight that I'm a sinner, who makes mistakes and will probably keep making them. Just like everybody. The problem with them not fellowshiping with me could have been totally my own problem as well, perhaps I pushed people away without knowing it. This decision to leave could have been the wrong decision. I'm open to that idea. But even you said you'd leave given the circumstances.

But.. even in our mistakes grace abounds. More the reason to grab an instrument and play some praise to the One who blessed us the talent in the first place.

Originally Posted by SoVeryTired

^ One thing I've learned in life - there's always someone who can express what I'm thinking better than I can!

Looks like that was the reason for me posting/replying to that specific post. Isn't it cool when that happens?

[MissingHighs]

Originally Posted by SoVeryTired

It's a bass-free week for me (I'm sure I'll find a way of coping).

Only a week! You're blessed, bro. Try a bass-free month...

... but I'm not actually complaining. People (especially those in charge) get oddly tetchy around this time of year - the stress of planning 'community carol services' etc. seems to play havoc with their patience.

Time to get that simple technique I keep getting wrong sorted out, another note on the fretboard more ingrained in the grey matter, working on fingering consistency..... oh the list goes on and on.....

M. <><

[SoVeryTired]

Originally Posted by MissingHighs

Only a week! You're blessed, bro. Try a bass-free month...

Or, as I like to call it, 'August'.

[jmclearnon]

Oh dude, i also play cello....... (why do i have to good ) every service with one instrument or the other lol.

I just moved to Essex for a year for work and i haven't played since i went home for a funeral and was HEAVILY exploited lol.

We all need breaks after about 7 years at every service i stopped playing for about a year because the worship leaders didn't realize i need a break once in a while because you need time to sit and worship without playing....

I'm going home on the 14th dec and its going to BE awesome after a few months break , hopefully i will be not taken for granted so much and appreciated a bit more .

[SoVeryTired]

I play acoustic and electric guitar and sing as well as play bass, so more often than not there's someone who isn't available for one of those things. I'm definitely not complaining, I love being involved whatever I'm doing (especially bass, of course) - it does mean though that I really appreciate those occasions when I'm not playing/singing.

[5StringFool]

Originally Posted by LAG

Ouir churches Pearl Epro electronic drum kit "disappears" in the mix when the band is playing and vocalists are singing. When played alone, the drums can be heard. The kick and toms can be heard a rumbling (in our boomy room) but the snare and cymbals get completely lost in a band mix.

Anyone else experience similar with your Pearl Epro drum kit?

We have a Roland kit, never had any problems with it though. What you're experiencing sounds to me like an issue with how individual channels are eq'ed and their respective levels in the mix.

Eq should be used so that elements in the mix sit "beside" each other instead of "on top" of each other, and since the electronic kit is completely dependent on the PA to produce sound this becomes doubly important.

[jmclearnon]

^^^ exactly that, especially in boomy rooms, try not to boost a low frequency similar to the resonant frequency (or low partial) for the room, it makes it VERY boomy lol.

[JebDude]

@joelb79 I don't know all the details, but I can say that what you experienced was not the Church of Christ. Do please look for another body to fellowship with. I can tell you that not all churches are as you described. My family goes to a small church in a small town and our pastor holds firmly to the Bible as his source. I can guarantee that someone would have greeted you on your first visit here.

JB

[joelb79]

I think they are a part of the body of Christ. A lot of people go to this church and seem to get plugged in; and I know that there are good people there. But I found the upper management of the church to be lacking, without biblical elder structure. I was turned off mostly by the pastor and his life; drinking, ect. There were many things that turned me away from being a part of that church. But being in the band for so long, and even on iTunes with this band, I have to say.. I'm glad to be done with their brand name. And I'll avoid any other churches with that brand name from now on. The way they do things is not for me.

I agree I'll have a better experience anywhere else, but once you've stepped out the door it gets harder to step back in. But getting around others in fellowship would be great. I'm just having a hard time getting outside that comfort zone right now. I've been on stage for too long at the one church, its bound to get me some looks when I step foot in another church from 1 or 2 people and might start some awkward conversations I don't want to have. I feel as though it is best to separate ways without starting controversy which is why I am not naming names. This is not the place for that anyways. We're bass players..

[bassman314]

Originally Posted by joelb79

I agree I'll have a better experience anywhere else, but once you've stepped out the door it gets harder to step back in. But getting around others in fellowship would be great. I'm just having a hard time getting outside that comfort zone right now. I've been on stage for too long at the one church, its bound to get me some looks when I step foot in another church from 1 or 2 people and might start some awkward conversations I don't want to have. I feel as though it is best to separate ways without starting controversy which is why I am not naming names. This is not the place for that anyways. We're bass players..

God did not close that door for you to languish and suffer. He is good and has something amazing planned for you and your family. Keep your ears and your hearts open.

[jmclearnon]

I have been to a lot of other churches and played and quite a few in guest worship bands. I would go around and see what ones are bible focused, if people ask questions and you don't want to answer and the peeps understand thats generally a good sign lol.

I don't like people trying to force stuff on me. It interesting going to other churches from time to time and seeing how welcome i feel. Massive spread lol. And just because one church in that "Denomination" does mean all of them are like that... just something to bear in mind lol.

anyways i hope you find a good church

[mkandolf]

Originally Posted by joelb79

I think they are a part of the body of Christ. A lot of people go to this church and seem to get plugged in; and I know that there are good people there. But I found the upper management of the church to be lacking, without biblical elder structure. I was turned off mostly by the pastor and his life; drinking, ect. There were many things that turned me away from being a part of that church. But being in the band for so long, and even on iTunes with this band, I have to say.. I'm glad to be done with their brand name. And I'll avoid any other churches with that brand name from now on. The way they do things is not for me.

I agree I'll have a better experience anywhere else, but once you've stepped out the door it gets harder to step back in. But getting around others in fellowship would be great. I'm just having a hard time getting outside that comfort zone right now. I've been on stage for too long at the one church, its bound to get me some looks when I step foot in another church from 1 or 2 people and might start some awkward conversations I don't want to have. I feel as though it is best to separate ways without starting controversy which is why I am not naming names. This is not the place for that anyways. We're bass players..

Joel, be careful that you don't step out the door too long, because you may find out that being out too long makes it near impossible to get back in as well. My wife and I walked out on one church but promised ourselves to get plugged in immediately to another. We planned on church hunting and thankfully were able to find a home right away and shortly plug in. I can't imagine not being active or alone in the Kingdom.

I feel bad for the way you were treated, don't know why you are considered different. Just sucks. And if that pastor has drinking problems??? Yikes! There's those of us in our church that take it hard when we get comments that we're not a welcoming church but the few of us can't be everywhere for everyone and we know churches tend to be cliquish. But go out there and try to find some clique for you I guess.

I'm rambling, aren't I?

[mkandolf]

Originally Posted by mtb777

Time to bring a nice SVT fridge rig on stage and just go with that and be done with it.

or a fEARful cab with a GB9.2!!! (if you've ever had the pleasure of playing through one of those!!!)

Originally Posted by BlueLine1

Wish they had 6-string sets. Looks like I'll have to put some on the 5'er and try them out. I'm with mtb777. Nothing sounds, looks, or intimidates like an SVT and 8x10.....
Alan

Originally Posted by steve_rolfeca

Never really felt like my mission in worship was to intimidate...

;-D

But aren't we supposed to scare the h-e-double hockey sticks out of them???