Anyone every make a conscious decision to throw in the towel

michaelc · #1 01-13-2010, 08:20 AM

My heart is just not in music anymore. Lately I've been listening to primarily books on tape and talk radio. When I was younger I used to stay up till 4 in the morning listening to the albums I loved over and over again, but now that I'm married and working a dead end job I just don't seem to get anything out of it. I used to write 2 or 3 songs a week every week, I've written one original tune in the last year. Right now my biggest focus is to keep paying my bills and get back to school so I can get out of this job that is slowly eating my soul.

I'm thinking of just putting the bass in the closet ( because of the 27 basses I've owned in the last 4 years its the only one I really don't want to sell) maybe selling to rig to help pay for school, and hopefully when I'm ready some day a few years down the road, going back to it.

Anyone else ever made a simular decision in your life? How did it work out for you?

**kenstee** · #2 01-13-2010, 08:44 AM

You didn't mention what exactly it is you want from music. Answering that truthfully - I'm talking brutally honest - may be the first place to start.

Also, read this...http://www.basssessions.com/oct07/Randall.html about your Bass GAS. 27 basses in 4 years is a bit - shall we say - excessive? That's like 1 every 2 months or so.

Good luck. Believe it or not things will work out.

kesslari · #3 01-13-2010, 08:48 AM

Sometimes you need to take a break. Keep a bass around, though. I sold mine when I felt overwhelmed by family pressures and expenses - my wife was wise enough to insist that I buy a cheap one to have around. Years later, I picked up that bass, and that catapulted me back into playing music. Life is not linear - take the break if that's what you feel.

clmayhew · #4 01-13-2010, 08:52 AM

I went through the same thing a few years ago. I was tired of playing with the bands I was in and I had a baby on the way. I sold my 2x15 cabinet and head and went without an amp for a long time. I eventually bought a 100w combo for when I actually had the time to play. Now I find myself picking up the bass more often and spending more time recording my own music. I still don't have the time to gig or rehearse with a band, but I find some time to play and record because it's something I still love.

Hoover · #5 01-13-2010, 08:54 AM

Not exactly "throwing in the towel" and not bass per se, but about four years ago I made a concious decision to cut back on the amount of freelance audio engineering work I was accepting because I felt it was interfering with time I could otherwise devote to playing bass, or doing some recreational activities with my wife. I turned down a lot of work, and the recording studio I built in our home, which in itself is tying up a lot of capital, has gone largely unused for much of this time. I find myself less & less interested in audio geekery, I rarely frequent the pro audio engineering forums I used to post in daily, and I haven't bought any new audio gear in ages. This is the career I was involved in ever since I was a wee teen 35 years ago, the thing I majored in as an undergraduate, the job I've held in some way/shape/form for all my life...consigned to an occasional one-off job, reduced to what the IRS would barely consider an "avocation".

And I've never felt better in my life.

I don't believe for a second that I won't eventually rekindle a strong enough desire to get behind the console that I'll re-hang my shingle, get back to doing more engineering, and get excited about pro audio again...some day. But I'm in no rush, and if it never happens I've made my peace; I'm doing something instead that, at least for now, feels more rewarding.

No reason why the same couldn't be happening for you (OP). You're not necessarily "throwing in the towel", you're just hanging the towel up to air-dry. And most towels need a good air-drying.

jchrisk1 · #6 01-13-2010, 09:38 AM

I suffered some wrist damage about five years ago and had trouble playing for any length of time and also, newly married with a kid, looking to support my family I had to make a decision about what was the most important. I chose my family and sold all of my gear. I didn't play for three years and became a workaholic. During the three years my wrist healed but I was very unhappy that I no longer had a musical outlet, but I still chose not to play. My wife, who I am divorced from now, could see how not playing was affecting me and suprised me with a new bass and combo amp. I couldn't have been happier. I regret giving up music becuase it is the only thing that keeps my sanity and also it took a long time to get back to my level of playing. Music is the only outlet that I have and I can't do without it. I think everyone goes through a sort of stagnant time with their creativity, but you will get it back. I think as we get older our priorities change. It is only you who can decide what is best for you, and all I will say about it is this, I wouldn't let music get in the way of my responsibilities and i wouldn't let my reponsibilities keep me from doing what i love to do.

etechstan · #7 01-13-2010, 10:14 AM

Back in 1982 I was playing the bars and over imbibing in the fringe benefits; booze, drugs and sex. Not always in that order and most of the time all three at once. After waking up in the front lawn of a country club with no recollection of anything after halfway through the first set the night before, I went immediately to the USAF recruiter and got away from it all. Got back into it last year but being a lot more mature and responsible now.

tycobb73 · #8 01-13-2010, 12:39 PM

I gave up playing for about 10 years to go to school, get married, have kids, etc. When things ettled downed (which meant my wife was pregnant with our first) I came back to it.

68Goldfish · #9 01-13-2010, 11:10 PM

Just don't get rid of your gear. Or keep a modest setup tucked away in the bedroom closet. You just never know what will happen and if you keep your stuff you'll be ready to go. After playing for more then ten years when I was younger my interests changed and I really got into muscle cars. Did that for many years but I kept toting all my gear from house to house.....to house to house. Never really gave it a second thought, it just sat in the corner closet. I'd drag the bass out every now and again and say to myself I should really get back into it but I never did. Then out of the blue my old guitar player called me and asked me if I'd be interested in getting together. We did, got the old band going again and I've been hardcore into it for the last five years. I play better now than I ever did and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Point is keep your gear, you never know what corner your life will turn.

becker4567 · #10 01-13-2010, 11:20 PM

I think everyone will have some piece of advice, most of it good, but the one common thread that everyone will agree on is don't get rid of your fav bass and amp. Speaking from experience, there will come a time when that old feeling will hit again, and when you reconnect with that patiently waiting old friend, you will remember why it played such a big part in your life.

kiwlm · #11 01-13-2010, 11:25 PM

I have had my bass for 7 years but I am still at around 6 months proficiency, yeah, I have thrown in the towel from time to time over the 7 years, I work as a programmer for my day job, and from time to time I do part time work, which I lately realize have been sucking the fun out of all my life. I asked myself one question, which is what will I do in the future when I have earned enough money? Play bass? Nah, I can play it now.

David1234 · #12 01-13-2010, 11:41 PM

As above, keep one full rig (bass, amp, stand whatever) and take a break. Let the break be 6-12 months with an option for longer. The time will come when you miss it. Wait one more month!!

It sounds like there are other things in life that are also failing to give you joy. Don't entirely ditch music, but give it a rest. You'll get some perspective on what's really getting you down. At least the bass won't mind being neglected for 6 months, unlike work, relationships, pets ....

StyleOverShow · #13 01-13-2010, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kesslari

... Life is not linear - take the break if that's what you feel.

Sometimes a little time off helps you get deeper the next time around. Have had several 'rest' periods in my 45 years of playing.

BKBassDude · #14 01-14-2010, 12:07 AM

I had an incident where I broke my hand and could not play for several months. This coincided with the breakup of my 8 year band relationship (the first I ever had). For 3 years I barely played at all. But in the past 2 years I've rekindled my love with the bass and music in general, and now am working weekly doing what I always loved. Occasionally we just have lapses in remembering what that is. And it may not be music. But do what you love regardless of what it is.

tekkentool · #15 01-14-2010, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BKBassDude

I had an incident where I broke my hand and could not play for several months. This coincided with the breakup of my 8 year band relationship (the first I ever had). For 3 years I barely played at all. But in the past 2 years I've rekindled my love with the bass and music in general, and now am working weekly doing what I always loved. Occasionally we just have lapses in remembering what that is. And it may not be music. But do what you love regardless of what it is.

I'm a bit young, and kind of ADHD'ish. so my lapses last about 3 month's. i pendulum between computer programming and music. I can't concentrate on the two at the same time so i swing between them.

ThunderV · #16 01-14-2010, 12:34 AM

There are'nt many things that I can say "I will be doing this for the rest of my life". I could'nt imagine a life without playin bass. Sometimes I feel like my bass is the only thing that I can control. I must not know what you are truly talking about because it sounds like you are about to give up something you love for a couple of things that you hate. When I was younger I gave up playin' bass for a girl whom was jealous of everything I did that did not have to do with her. One and a half year later and she was gone and I lost my job. At that point I told myself that I would never ever stop playin again. Once again, no I would not quit and if you do, you will regret it.

michaelc · #17 01-14-2010, 08:09 AM

It's not that I'm giving up music because of my job. It's that I'm giving up music so I can change my life overall. Employment outlook here in Michigan is grim. Not just like next couple years grim, like next couple decades grim. If I stay a factory rat for the rest of my life, I'll always be financially unstable. So it's not giving up my music so I can work more, it's giving up my music so I can someday maybe enjoy doing my music again while also being financially sound.

One of the other posters asked me what I am really looking to get out of music. I could sum that up a couple ways. Out of music it self: wonder, awe, genuine amazement. These are emotions I almost never experience any more in day to day like. Up to the last year or so, I got that from music, but lately it just hasn't been there. The other thing I am looking for in music is friendship and brother hood. At this point I have zero interest in joining an band of people I don't know no matter how good they are. The drummer I've been jaming with is getting ready to move to Colorado though, and the guitar player I jam with will certainly want to replace him with someone I can't stand (because everyone he's ever invited out to our jams has a personality like a cheese grater).

I've decided to hold off selling my gig rig untill next weekend to give myself more time to think, but I am really leaning towards putting the bass aside. I might use the money from the sale of my rig the beef up my home project studio. I might just try offering some free recording to friends and local singer song writters. Being involved in something musical 5 or 6 hours a week every couple months, might just be enough. And if they happe to want bass one something, well that bass will still be right there in the closet.

Tony G · #18 01-14-2010, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michaelc

I'm thinking of just putting the bass in the closet ( because of the 27 basses I've owned in the last 4 years its the only one I really don't want to sell) maybe selling to rig to help pay for school, and hopefully when I'm ready some day a few years down the road, going back to it.

That sounds like a perfectly rational thought.

HaMMerHeD · #19 01-14-2010, 08:11 AM

It is your life, chief. You should do what you feel is best.

For me, the older I get, the more I love it. The more stressed out I am, and the more my other responsibilities with my job and family take me away from music, the more I want to get back to it.

Sijjvra · #20 01-14-2010, 08:17 AM

Being from Michigan myself , I was in exactly the same spot about 10 years ago after I graduated high school. Found myself in a craptacular factory job for several years that left me with little time to do anything but sleep and pay bills. Sold all of my equipment and got out of music for a good 8ish years, except for keeping one cheap bass around (that I still have).

Once things got better financially and otherwise, I began to pick it back up about 2 years ago. Yes, the outlook in Michigan is absolutely utterly awful right now and will be for a long time, so your idea to put the bass in the closet while you work towards getting a more sound footing in this crap economy is not a bad idea. Keep your favorite bass and when things eventually do get better for you... it'll be there waiting.