Being young is not fair at all.

MammaryVest · #1 11-14-2006, 10:33 PM

I've been trying the craigslist thing for a couple months now trying to get a band together, but whenever I get in Email correspondense with someone, one of the first things they ask me is how old I am. After I tell them that I'm 18, they never email me again. Is this because of my age? Should I start lying about it? Anyone feel my pain?

VanillaO · #2 11-15-2006, 07:40 AM

dunno what craigslist is.. But lying to a band before you know them is never a good start. Whenever I contact someone about jamming iwth them or whatever, I always tell them 'a few things first: I'm 19, I'm a little overweight [it matters to some bands sadly], and I have a very odd sense of humour. I"ve jammed with a number of bands, for fun, as part of the band, etc and most seem to be content with my being upfront with them. Of course you could grow a wicked beard, die it gray and say you're 50.

guy n. cognito · #3 11-15-2006, 08:02 AM

In many states, club owners can't allow anyone under 21 into a bar, including the band. An experienced band may not want to deal with that. Furthermore, there can be huge maturity issues with an 18 year old that may be unappealing to older band members.

Don't lie about your age, because you'll get caught eventually. That type of behavior certainly won't give any potential band members confidence in 18 year olds.

Think being young is unfair? I am always seeing listing for bands that specifically state that the maximum age is 29, regardless of talent. That sword cuts both ways .

Baryonyx · #4 11-15-2006, 09:52 AM

I would laugh if one of these "29 and under" missed having Steve Vai apply for guitar duties simply because of that clause in the advert. Similarly, Kofi Baker played on Abstract Logic when he was 17, and he was amazing.

However, as has been said, a lot of bands will need someone over 21-bars are a mainstay of gigging bands, so they need complete assurance that their members will be granted access, no problem.

ulrich · #5 11-15-2006, 10:34 AM

This too, shall pass.

You'll get no sympathy from me. At 43, I imagine, I'm too old for more bands than you're too young for.

Look on the bright side; In a couple years, you'll be older.

For now, just cowboy up, and keep looking.

MichaelVee · #6 11-15-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Think being young is unfair? I am always seeing listing for bands that specifically state that the maximum age is 29, regardless of talent. That sword cuts both ways .

+1, for sure.

It gets harder and harder to get into a band when you get into your 40s and 50s. Unfortunate, because older musicians frequently have much more to offer a band.

jomahu · #7 11-15-2006, 10:45 AM

ahhh, another Mass-hole.

+1 on club regulations. we've had some 20-year-olds in the band and had to get special permission from clubs. fortunately, we're not a band of drinkers, so it works well for us.

are you in college? or high school? try meeting some folks in your age range. as much as age doesn't matter....sometimes, it kinda does.

craigslist is very iffy, so take it with a grain of salt. but then again, the two bands i've been in since college have been thru craigslist.

good luck! and be honest - it's just a matter of hooking up with the right folks with the right frame of mind.

MattBlackLamb · #8 11-15-2006, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jomahu

ahhh, another Mass-hole.

+1 on club regulations. we've had some 20-year-olds in the band and had to get special permission from clubs. fortunately, we're not a band of drinkers, so it works well for us.

are you in college? or high school? try meeting some folks in your age range. as much as age doesn't matter....sometimes, it kinda does.

craigslist is very iffy, so take it with a grain of salt. but then again, the two bands i've been in since college have been thru craigslist.

good luck! and be honest - it's just a matter of hooking up with the right folks with the right frame of mind.

If craigslist (whatever that is

) is a bit iffy then try www.musofinder.com that's quite good & the people on the formus are genrally very freindly

I'm called Lamb21

jomahu · #9 11-15-2006, 12:03 PM

just for reference: http://www.craigslist.org

nad · #10 11-15-2006, 12:56 PM

Being old isn't fair either, FWIW.

jonpeck · #11 11-15-2006, 01:00 PM

try been 16 and looking for someone to do really small gigs as a singer

lawsonman · #12 11-15-2006, 04:23 PM

Times have definately changed.I was playing in bars when I was 16. Of course that was almost 40 years ago!

guy n. cognito · #13 11-15-2006, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawsonman

Times have definately changed.I was playing in bars when I was 16. Of course that was almost 40 years ago!

Nowadays, many club don't want to take the risk of having someone under 21 in a bar. It can be difficult to monitor them for alcohol consumption, but they could be held criminally and financially liable if that minor does get drunk then hurts himself or others.

Spoiled Grape · #14 11-15-2006, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Nowadays, many club don't want to take the risk of having someone under 21 in a bar. It can be difficult to monitor them for alcohol consumption, but they could be held criminally and financially liable if that minor does get drunk then hurts himself or others.

Many clubs are also visited by undercover cops.

There is a forum member, Mike Money, who is playing at a club in December with Long Beach Dub All Stars. From the looks of it, they are under 21, although I could be wrong. When I was under 21, I played that place and security told me to unload my gear, and than sit outside until it was time to play. After I played, I was suppose to leave immediatly. I ended up (hiding)staying inside the entire time in fear of being caught. It was a very un-fun time for me and the rest of the band.

Stuff like that can happen pretty frequently. Some bars won't even let you in, regardless of whether you are playing or not.

jomahu · #15 11-16-2006, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawsonman

Times have definately changed.I was playing in bars when I was 16. Of course that was almost 40 years ago!

yeh, i started playing in clubs at 15. then again, there's no real age limit for drinking/clubs where i'm from...

tplyons · #16 11-16-2006, 01:06 PM

Yes, it sucks, but on the other hand, I disclose it immediately in the first email I respond to ("I'm a 19 year old bassist from Madison NJ and feel my playing could be a good match for your band..." and so forth and so on. Works more than it doesn't and more often than not, I'm the one who breaks communication when they start getting flaky.

Just hang in there and good luck.

emblymouse · #17 11-16-2006, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelVee

+1, for sure.

It gets harder and harder to get into a band when you get into your 40s and 50s. Unfortunate, because older musicians frequently have much more to offer a band.

This just smaked me upside the haid yesterday. An ad I was considering was pulled, then re posted with the word "younger" inserted in front of "bass player". I really forgot that I was possibly 'too old', I was too busy trying to decide if they were 'mature' enough.
Cuts both ways indeed.

Munjibunga · #18 11-16-2006, 10:36 PM

From this, you've learned a very important lesson at a very young age: Life is not fair. Remember that.

Munjibunga · #19 11-16-2006, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelVee

+1, for sure.

It gets harder and harder to get into a band when you get into your 40s and 50s. ...

This has not been my experience. I'm 58, and have passed every audition I've done. I pick and choose the band. In the end, however, I recruited and auditioned my current band because I was tired of dealing with drug users and alcoholics. An added bonus is that no one in this band smokes, which means we can practice for 3 hours straight without having to stop every half hour so the addicts can go out and get their nicotine fix.

invader3k · #20 11-17-2006, 07:05 AM

Something you learn when you're in your twenties...being a teenager indeed does suck, and high school isn't as important as everyone makes it out to be.

My advice would be to keep practicing, and try to find some friends to jam with. Don't put pressure on yourself to get out and start gigging right away. Once you do get a little older, you'll be more talented, wiser, and ready for any kind of band you'd want to play in.