|mellowinman ||12-11-2012 06:40 PM |
Do You Care About Whether or not I Care About What You Care About?
I know, that sounds cumbersome, but bear with me.
Do you care about whether or not I care about what you care about? And do you care about whether or not anyone else cares about what you care about? What about caring about not caring about things that you don't care whether or not anyone cares about?
Personally, I don't much care about caring about whether or not anyone cares about caring about anything that I do care about, but sometimes I find I do care just a little bit about caring about whether or not anyone doesn't care about caring about things I don't care about.
When I was a kid, I had a naive, simple belief that when I truly didn't care about caring or not caring, I could express it by saying, "I COULDN'T CARE LESS."
THAT was a simple, declarative sentence, without a hint of irony. I literally couldn't care less!
So my friend Scott, when we were about twelve, is arguing with me about something, and he's being a turd, and he says, "I COULD CARE LESS."
I could care less?
Man, that whole thing set my world on edge. So you COULD care less? So you care SOME? What does that MEAN???
I was thrilled in my cognitive superiority over Scott, who wasn't the brightest boy, and I was certain he meant to say "I COULDN'T CARE LESS," but had heard it wrong, like Archie Bunker would do from time to time, and then I realized something that almost struck me dead right on the spot.
WHAT IF SCOTT WAS EMPLOYING IRONY????
Saying "I COULD CARE LESS" as a SARCASTIC DECLARATION, where the declarative phrase means the OPPOSITE of what it sounds like it means!!!
I immediately busied myself, not only not caring about whatever I had cared not to care about, but also making sure to not care about things I had always cared about, and reached a level of apathy that made me realize that not only couldn't I care less, but I had come all the way full circle, and truly COULD care less.
It was a gala day, and really, a gala day is about all I can handle.