Do you really care what others think?

[wcnewby]

I often wonder why people are ashamed of admitting that they care what other people think. We are, all of us, human beings that are genetically inclined to be social.

As far as art, what artist does not care what others think... really... This whole "I don't care" thing is very common among artists. We are cats, and not the lion type. We are sensitive, it just is. If you aren't, I doubt that you are a popular artist, or ever will be. It is your ability to be sensitive, to tap into the sensitivities of others that make people appreciate your work.

The "I don't care" tactic. It is a defense mechanism. You do care... so much that you have to pretend not to in case someone dissaproves. It is pretty basic psychology. If you didn't care, a booing audience would mean as much to you as a cheering audience.

You should be proud that you care, because that is what will make you worthy of hearing. That will make you practice till your hands cramp. Admit you don't make sound for yourself, and you will find that you could improve, that criticism is sometimes worth listening to.
If you don't want to be criticised then learn to recognise your own short comings and correct them before others see them.

Thank Jebus that David Gilmore cares or his soloing wouldn't make me all misty when I get drunk.

[Means2nEnd]

I care a lot. Crazy but I want the audience to dig the band and music when we gig but man it means so much more what other musicians think. We could play for a couple hundred people and we get applause and compliments and that’s’ so cool but man it means so much more when even 2 guys from other bands come up and say something positive. Inferiority complex with other musicians maybe but that’s the way I’m wired.

[mongo2]

Others think...?

Who'da thunk it.

[Zooberwerx]

I listen and weigh constructive input from others who possess greater experience in certain disciplines.

IOW, there are folks out there who have more "smarts" than I. OTOH, we also contend with so-called experts who, all too frequently, don't have a clue. The trick is discerning between the two.

Riis

[Beltdrive]

I am also 50 years old and I stopped worrying about what people thought about me after the first gig. My advice is to find an axe you like, plug it into your favorite amp and go have fun.

[MarkMgibson]

Even the OP cares or he wouldn't have asked the question. After all, if you really don't care what people think, you wouldn't care if other people care what other people think of them. If you were completely carefree, then the idea of asking whether caring what others think wouldn't occur to you, as you wouldn't care anyway.

[bolophonic]

I would be lying if I said no. I have spent a long time cultivating my skills and so I hope what I do is enjoyable for other people to listen to. I have curated my rig to suit myself, but I don't pretend that compliments are beneath me when people notice that my gear is respectable. I make an effort to look presentable onstage out of self respect, not purely out of a desire to be comfortable.

[SquierJazz72]

In my opinion, everyone who claims to not give a sh1t about what others think about their looks etc. is lying to themselves BIG time! And don't try to get along with the beloved statement "I'm just doing it for myself!"...that's BS. At least I am not showering, making my hair, get shaved, using deodorant and dress properly everyday just for myself.

Well, to me, those things are in the fitting in category, stuff that people pretty much expect of each other whenever they interact. Obviously if you show up smelling like a dead skunk, it probably won't matter how well you play. Some things do need to be cared about.

Let me put it this was, just for myself:

I'll show up clean, groomed, well dressed, with all my equipment and accessories. I care about all that stuff. It's just good professionalism, in my opinion.

But, if I can do all that, and play what needs playing, then if they just don't like my looks or my equipment for no particularly good reason, or really lame reasons, I don't care.

[MrMeacham]

Let me put it this way, just for myself:

I'll show up clean, groomed, well dressed, with all my equipment and accessories. I care about all that stuff. It's just good professionalism, in my opinion.

But, if I can do all that, and play what needs playing, then if they just don't like my looks or my equipment for no particularly good reason, or really lame reasons, I don't care.

That's what I was driving at. I wasn't advocating being unprofessional. I was wondering where the line was drawn. For me it's after professionalism.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Beltdrive

I am also 50 years old and I stopped worrying about what people thought about me after the first gig. My advice is to find an axe you like, plug it into your favorite amp and go have fun.

I'm 59 I care about what people think of the band and my performance at every gig. I'm there to entertain them, why would I only care about me?

Another reason why I contend some are in this business for the wrong reasons.

I would think, if you don't care what people think, why play for them?
Blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by SquierJazz72

Well, to me, those things are in the fitting in category, stuff that people pretty much expect of each other whenever they interact. Obviously if you show up smelling like a dead skunk, it probably won't matter how well you play. Some things do need to be cared about.

Let me put it this was, just for myself:

I'll show up clean, groomed, well dressed, with all my equipment and accessories. I care about all that stuff. It's just good professionalism, in my opinion.

But, if I can do all that, and play what needs playing, then if they just don't like my looks or my equipment for no particularly good reason, or really lame reasons, I don't care.

+1

SquireJazz, you "get it" and your in this for the right reasons.

blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by MrMeacham

Besides having a good sound and the ability to play the song in an acceptable manner do you really care what people think of you? Do you care what other people think about what your gear looks like, if you play with a pick, use a capo, have flats or rounds, your bass is road worn, etc. I'm not putting people down who do but as I've reached 50 I could care less. I'm interested in how things work or sound so I can achieve my goals. Am I just old and jaded.

I disagree Mr. Meacham,

I'm 59, I'm older but not old by any stretch.
Also if your your interested to me that means you care.

Blue

[Johnny Crab]

My favorite physicist says:

[Kmonk]

Originally Posted by wcnewby

I often wonder why people are ashamed of admitting that they care what other people think. We are, all of us, human beings that are genetically inclined to be social.

As far as art, what artist does not care what others think... really... This whole "I don't care" thing is very common among artists. We are cats, and not the lion type. We are sensitive, it just is. If you aren't, I doubt that you are a popular artist, or ever will be. It is your ability to be sensitive, to tap into the sensitivities of others that make people appreciate your work.

The "I don't care" tactic. It is a defense mechanism. You do care... so much that you have to pretend not to in case someone dissaproves. It is pretty basic psychology. If you didn't care, a booing audience would mean as much to you as a cheering audience.

You should be proud that you care, because that is what will make you worthy of hearing. That will make you practice till your hands cramp. Admit you don't make sound for yourself, and you will find that you could improve, that criticism is sometimes worth listening to.
If you don't want to be criticised then learn to recognise your own short comings and correct them before others see them.

Thank Jebus that David Gilmore cares or his soloing wouldn't make me all misty when I get drunk.

There is a difference between caring about what people think and worrying about it. Some people care and worry so much that they become defensive and avoid taking risks. I think if you care too much you are more likely to become defensive because any time somebody doesn't like what you do you are more likely to take it personally. I hope people like what I do but if they don't its not a big deal. No matter what type of art you create there are people who love it, people who hate it and people who don't care one way or the other. Think about your favorite band. Some people love them and some hate them. Even The Beatles have their haters.

[klaus486]

I care. I like hearing positive feedback about the music I make. But I really do it for me first & foremost.

I, however, play original music of a non "pop" variety.

If I was a hired gun or in a cover band it'd be all about what other people think.

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by Johnny Crab

My favorite physicist says:

If you want to find truth, start by turning off your television.


"But I love TV"

blue

[bluewine]

Originally Posted by klaus486

I care. I like hearing positive feedback about the music I make. But I really do it for me first & foremost.

I, however, play original music of a non "pop" variety.

If I was a hired gun or in a cover band it'd be all about what other people think.

I'm curious, do you gig? If yes, why?

If you don't care what people think of you, your performance or your original music why play it for people?

Blue

[Winemule]

Originally Posted by MrMeacham

I'm interested in how things work or sound so I can achieve my goals.

That sounds like "caring" to me.

In the world of performance, you are your reputation.

Areté is what it's all about.

[affprod]

MrMeacham. Wait until you hit 60. I still care, but everyone is always kind to the wise old bass player with all the cool vintage gear who plays pretty darn good for a freaking dinosaur.

[MrMeacham]

Interesting responses. Who knew? I still put little stock in what people think of my gear or style as long as it works and is professional. That doesn't mean I disrespect them or don't want them to attend the gig. What doesn't matter is if they like my bass guitar, if I should play with a pick or fingers, if I should have certain cabinets or play through the house, if real bass players just plug in, etc.

I'm chasing a sound and my gear is the tool that gets me there. I value opinions when it comes to gear as long as its about construction and sound, style is different. Look at the pros; Keith plays a 5 string and Levin a 3. Swallow uses a metal pick, somebody decided to hit strings with their thumb and Rush never made a disco album.

(I get that hired guns have expectations they need to meet, that's a different situation)

The best advice I've gotten on TB is that if it works for me, it works for me! You may be different...it's all good.