funny bass wanted ad

[3 crotch grabs]

We've been gigging around Boston as well as Massachusetts for a while now and are looking forward to our second show next Fall. Our bassplayer is quitting, though, and we need a replacement ASAP. We need someone who can rip it up on the 10 Foot Bass, fretless or fretful..... whatevs. It helps if you can jump off things while playing (Chairs, couches, milk crates, the ground) and do a rock karate kick in mid-air. We love that kind of thing, and fans do, too!!!!!!

Our current lineup features drums, tuba, lead tuba, oboe and tuba. Our songs are in the rock and roll genre. Must be a dedicated musician willing make a serious go at this thing. We practice twice a month on Saturday or Sunday, sometimes Thursday, Tuesday, or Friday. We can also do Monday and Wednesday. We're serious about this. We don't care about pleasing the masses. If the music rocks, then f*** 'em. We're the type of band that would walk right into Macy's, pass the dressing room and buy all the socks without even trying them on. The type of band that buys small French Fries then Supersizes. We don't care.

So, if you can play a 10 Foot Bass drop us an e-mail and we'll send you mp3s of us just doin' it..... We FrenchCock all the time. We've got a song on our site. Pay no attention to the title, though, "I really want to kill myself, this isn't a joke. This is a cry for help."

[superbassman2000]

sweet...i have a ten foot bass.....i can jump of couches....I've boughten socks without trying them on....Maybe i should try out!

[Josh Ryan]

No way man! I can do flying Elvis kung fu kicks off milk crates whiloe playing!

Lead tuba backed by tuba is so cool.

[Squidfinger]

Frenchcock?

I'd go to the audition sloppy drunk and just see what happens.

[3 crotch grabs]

my buddy made that ad and put on craigslist-boston yesterday. you should have seen his old drummer wanted ad. something about time signatures based on geometric equasions.... rhombas based band.... bring your own slide rule or scientific calculator to the audition... he got some great responses on that one.

[vegaas]

I love the socks line. That had me laughing.

[mycranium]

If they have an opening for a euphonium player, let me know.

[Lloyd Christmas]

"fretless or fretful"

[TxBass]

I've only worked up to the 9 foot bass...I feel so inadequate

[Matt Till]

Damn, why are all the good gigs in Boston.

[Edwcdc]

I'm the original bass player that lost that gig.
My jumps off the ground were not getting the air that they used to. Then I got one of my new socks from Maceys stuck in a tuba as I came down from my leap off of a milk crate. What made it worse was that he was right in the middle of a solo.

Good luck to the new guy.