How to deal with egotistical musicians

rivmiquiv · #1 12-07-2010, 05:20 PM

I have been playing with a small group for my school jazz band for a couple months now. Unfortunately the experience has been far from a good one, mainly because the piano player is one of those guys who just doesn't have the people skills to work well with others. Often times he will try to tell me how to play bass, like he is a better bass player than me, and while some of his advice is good, his delivery just makes everyone in the room feel bad. His ego is off the wall. He is great at dishing out advice but will never hear the other side to the argument.

I'm sure many of you can relate to these types of players, and I was just looking for feedback as to how you deal with them?

DanNowhere · #2 12-07-2010, 05:21 PM

repeated nutpunchings

ksandvik · #3 12-07-2010, 05:21 PM

Who's the leader of the band? Talk to this person.

Vanceman · #4 12-07-2010, 05:35 PM

I usually yawn when I'm tired of listening to someone like that.

Then they say, "Oh, am I'm boring you?"

"YES!"

ksandvik · #5 12-07-2010, 05:37 PM

Or use the Japanese style of saying: "that's an interesting point." Combine that with the wobbly shake so the other person does not know if you agree or disagree!

calebbarton · #6 12-07-2010, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ksandvik

Or use the Japanese style of saying: "that's an interesting point." Combine that with the wobbly shake so the other person does not know if you agree or disagree!

+10000

etoncrow · #7 12-07-2010, 05:43 PM

Isn't "egotistical musicians" redundant? Are not the rest of us just hackers? Seriously, he will eventually get his. It is like gun fighters, there is always someone faster (better). Maybe he will show his arse and get banned from "Talk Piano"; it has happened here to egotistical musicians.

Pilgrim · #8 12-07-2010, 06:07 PM

Tell him that you appreciate his experience but he needs to back off and be more considerate in how he expresses himself.

I believe in telling people the truth.

Caca de Kick · #9 12-07-2010, 06:22 PM

I agree with Pilgrim...tell him straight-up.

Oh and it doesn't get any easier with piano players, they always seem that way even later in life. Perfect reason why I never hire any for my own bands.

I got tired of blues jams with pianists always running all over the bass lines.

ksandvik · #10 12-07-2010, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caca de Kick

I agree with Pilgrim...tell him straight-up.

Oh and it doesn't get any easier with piano players, they always seem that way even later in life. Perfect reason why I never hire any for my own bands.

I got tires of blues jams with pianists always running all over the bass lines.

Their left hands should be tied behind their backs until they learn.

jollygiantchris · #11 12-08-2010, 02:56 AM

Keep asking him to repeat himself and ask as many dumb questions as possible to deliberately annoy him. People like that tend to get really angry real fast and it will be funny to watch how mad he gets.

Be sure to tell everyone else before you do it though. Or you could just not play with him.

pklima · #12 12-08-2010, 05:44 AM

Bill Anschell's pianist archetype seems to fit perfectly, right?

Quote:

Pianists are intellectuals and know-it-alls. They studied theory, harmony and composition in college. Most are riddled with self-doubt. They are usually bald. They should have big hands, but often don’t. They were social rejects as adolescents. They go home after the gig and play with toy soldiers. Pianists have a special love-hate relationship with singers. If you talk to the piano player during a break, he will condescend.

HeadyVan Halen · #13 12-08-2010, 05:55 AM

Can you beat his ass?
If no, continue on your diminutive ways.

If yes, go MMA on him. Then say, "alright, lets take it from bar 14, the Eb chord..."

Your in high school dude. Fights are brushed off. Once you hit 18, it's legal fees baby.

Phalex · #14 12-08-2010, 06:39 AM

I usually go with something along the lines of; "You know what it is that makes people really like you?" "Nothing!"

unclejane · #15 12-08-2010, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivmiquiv

I have been playing with a small group for my school jazz band for a couple months now. Unfortunately the experience has been far from a good one, mainly because the piano player is one of those guys who just doesn't have the people skills to work well with others. Often times he will try to tell me how to play bass, like he is a better bass player than me, and while some of his advice is good, his delivery just makes everyone in the room feel bad. His ego is off the wall. He is great at dishing out advice but will never hear the other side to the argument.

I'm sure many of you can relate to these types of players, and I was just looking for feedback as to how you deal with them?

Try handing him the bass and say "Could you show me how it's supposed to be done?". That _may_ shut him up, I've had mild success with that strategy in the past.

After that, the direct approach. Stop the rehearsal and let him have it, maybe in combination with the above.

But if all that fails, I'd quit the band. You're going to eventually get fed up anyway and quit in a huff, so I'd say get it overwith before it gets to that point.

LS

lousybassplayer · #16 12-08-2010, 10:44 AM

Mom jokes. Constantly. When he says "It would sound better if you played XXX" say, "Your mom said it sounded fine" or "Your mom sounds great with my XXX" etc. They don't even have to be good jokes, just keep 'em coming. Be ready to fight.

Thunderthumbs73 · #17 12-08-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivmiquiv

I have been playing with a small group for my school jazz band for a couple months now. Unfortunately the experience has been far from a good one, mainly because the piano player is one of those guys who just doesn't have the people skills to work well with others. Often times he will try to tell me how to play bass, like he is a better bass player than me, and while some of his advice is good, his delivery just makes everyone in the room feel bad. His ego is off the wall. He is great at dishing out advice but will never hear the other side to the argument.

I'm sure many of you can relate to these types of players, and I was just looking for feedback as to how you deal with them?

I deal with them this way: I either, a.) remove them from the situation, or b.) remove myself from the situation. I suggest you do the same.

bassbully · #18 12-08-2010, 12:18 PM

Take your bass over to him and show him the tiny crack you found in the headstock (None) Make him take a real close look since its real small then... WHACK him in his face with it!

When he wakes up tell him to shut up and do his job and you'll do yours...or you will show him that crack again real quick.

FunkyMan · #19 12-08-2010, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassbully

Take your bass over to him and show him the tiny crack you found in the headstock (None) Make him take a real close look since its real small then... WHACK him in his face with it!

When he wakes up tell him to shut up and do his job and you'll do yours...or you will show him that crack again real quick.

Lol!! I'll take note on that!

Hey people, nobody has given a serious advice yet..

dvil88 · #20 12-08-2010, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lousybassplayer

Mom jokes. Constantly. When he says "It would sound better if you played XXX" say, "Your mom said it sounded fine" or "Your mom sounds great with my XXX" etc. They don't even have to be good jokes, just keep 'em coming. Be ready to fight.

+1 ...Classic