how do you tell someone....

thomasthecat · #1 10-28-2010, 01:42 PM

How do you tell someone to pull back on their ego? Well I dont know if its his ego or his attitude, but there is a kid in the improvision class I'm taking that talks down to a lot of people. He is an ok player but he isnt quite the bees knees. Hes a sax player and i would say very mediocre, not trying to be mean but hes nothin special ya know. Im wondering if there is a good way to break it to him that he needs to chill out a little bit. Any suggestions

LaklandBass · #2 10-28-2010, 01:47 PM

Tell him that the theory of "under-promise, over-deliver" can be used socially and not just on the sales floor.

DanNowhere · #3 10-28-2010, 03:41 PM

Respond to anything he says with uncontrollable laughter. If that doesn't work, try a knee to the groin.

thomasthecat · #4 10-28-2010, 03:45 PM

hahaha!!!! See, I was totally thinkin knee in the groin

.. But he doesnt see how rude he is, and its worse cause he isnt the best one in the room by a long shot (im not either, right around second worse

) and he still acts like god amongst children

Mr wiggl3s · #5 10-28-2010, 03:50 PM

Tell him to calm down and cut the ******** out. You're not in high school right?

fdeck · #6 10-28-2010, 04:03 PM

You have to learn how to avoid letting people intimidate you. This isn't the last time that somebody's going to pull the alpha male routine on you.

Calling him on his behavior won't work. He'll simply play innocent, and you'll look like a fool.

One option the good old Navy salute:

tangentmusic · #7 10-28-2010, 04:06 PM

Pride comes before a fall. Sooner or later, all of his talkin' himself up & putting others down will be shown up. Like when he really needs to show his skills (or lack thereof) during a solo improv spot.
I knew a kid once in High school who was always saying how great a singer he was.
One night at a lame party, the band that was playing there (not mine) asked this kid to sing one with them. He totally choked and really embarrased himself in front of many of us. He never bragged about himself again.
Moral of the story: Let this guy's foolishness be his own downfall. It will happen. Hopefully you will be there to witness it.
Meantime... Let him be... It's not worth the hassle

bassteban · #8 10-28-2010, 04:07 PM

You can't change others. Let the d-bag be a d-bag; if he really is, it will become clear in time.

Classickbass · #9 10-28-2010, 04:10 PM

I find the back of the hand works best.

**nutdog** · #10 10-28-2010, 04:10 PM

What you've got to do is cut the hamstring on the back of his leg right at the bottom. He'll never play golf again, because his weight displacement goes back, all his weight is on his right foot, and he'll push everything off to the right. He'll never come through on anything. He'll quit the game.

bassteban · #11 10-28-2010, 04:18 PM

*post of the day*

Dirk Diggler · #12 10-28-2010, 05:56 PM

Ask him to play a chord on his instrument, bass wins every time.

Dirk

mongo2 · #13 10-28-2010, 06:43 PM

He's obviously insecure...ignore him.

mpdd · #14 10-28-2010, 08:10 PM

just tell him it's not fun to play with him, and that should get his attention, if he's defensive drop it and know he's a jerk, if he asks why tell him

thomasthecat · #15 10-29-2010, 10:20 AM

No im not in highschool, this is a college course haha. I TOTALLY want to see him fall, only because he needs something to humble him.(and it would be hillarious to me) The semester is gonna be over soon and i wont have to deal with him again, but in the mean time ill probably tell him to chill out and stop being such a d bag

ggunn · #16 10-29-2010, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thomasthecat

No im not in highschool, this is a college course haha. I TOTALLY want to see him fall, only because he needs something to humble him.(and it would be hillarious to me) The semester is gonna be over soon and i wont have to deal with him again, but in the mean time ill probably tell him to chill out and stop being such a d bag

When you get a bit of perspective, the kind that years bring, you will come to realize that there is really not that much difference, socially speaking, between high school and college.

M0ses · #17 10-29-2010, 06:01 PM

Ignore him. You can't change him. You can't even make him feel bad about it. Believe me. I've known plenty of those.

S. Katz · #18 10-29-2010, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thomasthecat

How do you tell someone to pull back on their ego? Well I dont know if its his ego or his attitude, but there is a kid in the improvision class I'm taking that talks down to a lot of people. He is an ok player but he isnt quite the bees knees. Hes a sax player and i would say very mediocre, not trying to be mean but hes nothin special ya know. Im wondering if there is a good way to break it to him that he needs to chill out a little bit. Any suggestions

Just ignore him. Don't talk to him any more than is necessary to participate in class. Otherwise, don't tall to him. If he gets in your face, look him right in they eye, politely listen to what he has to say and then, when he is done, turn around and walk away.

He'll get the message fast. Or he won't. Either way, it doesn't matter. You have more important things to do than spend time trying to figure out how to cure his social problems.

SMILEYSIXX · #19 10-29-2010, 06:19 PM

I deal with this daily in my Jazz Band class. Wanna know what we do? Tell him **** off. Point blank tell him "Dude, calm the hell down. You're nowhere near as good as you think you are and it's pissing the rest of us off. No one likes you."

Worked for my entire class.