just quit my band now they want to hire me for a sub..?

[chrism2sych]

I quit the band that I have been in for a year and a half on monday. Long story short I have 2 young children, wife is not happy w/ me being gone all the time on the weekend, I'm playing in a cover band and all the money we are making is going to our gear account, I'm not crazy about the set list.... the cons now the pros I love playing, I have never had a bad time w/ my bass in my hands, every time I play a 3 hour show I'm learning something and becoming a better player....... all that said, they want to hire me for a sub for the remaining shows till the beginning of june only five shows and one isn't a full show there are two opening bands, then us. I'll be getting paid for these shows, but there maybe some hard feelings between us because of my wanting to leave in the first place but now they are having a hard time finding a replacement. Should I sub for myself or should I just go for the clean break and turn it down. I can argue both sides for my self, but any opinions might be helpful.

[somedumbguy]

I love playing, I have never had a bad time w/ my bass in my hands

Seems like a no-brainer to me...

[TC2112]

I would sub -

were the gigs on the books before you quit? Did you give them any notice that you were going to leave before you did? I personally would feel a bit of responsibility to at least the shows booked and give your band members an opportunity to replace you.

[chrism2sych]

yes the five I'm considering were there b4 I quit. I did quit at a time where we had already scheduled a month off.

[PJSShearer]

Originally Posted by chrism2sych

yes the five I'm considering were there b4 I quit. I did quit at a time where we had already scheduled a month off.

If you're not busy those nights I'd say do them. That way you're doing the decent thing and nobody's getting let down. I'd put your foot down and say "no more after those" though!!

[Roy Vogt]

Originally Posted by PJSShearer

If you're not busy those nights I'd say do them. That way you're doing the decent thing and nobody's getting let down. I'd put your foot down and say "no more after those" though!!

That's a good way to handle it. If they still call, you could just raise your rate for subbing and either they'll stop calling or you will stop minding as much.

[ddbassGA]

Yeah go for it, especially if the pay will go to you and not the PA account.

I quit a band last year that I had been in for several years, recorded a CD. Now they call me to sub when they do benefit shows! Ha!

"I love playing, I have never had a bad time w/ my bass in my hands"

Sez it all brother !

[stflbn]

Raise your rate some. And cash money at the gig. And nothing goes toward 'band gear fund' which remains to be a stupid concept that only benefits the person who ends up inheriting the gear, IMHO.

[BassChuck]

Since you seem evenly divided on the choice... and since your family is the reason your left the group, why not let them decide for you? That way if there is any conflict either way, it doesn't come back to kick your a$$.

[chokeslam512]

Do the gigs if you want, but have your compensation agreement written and signed by all parties involved.

[dmusic148]

Help them out, take the money, be firm about being 'done' after the next few dates.

[jerry]

Do them, seems like a better deal for you.

[jaywa]

The only way I'd say no to that proposition was if another band with a lot of gigs on the books was after you hot and heavy to join them ASAP. At which point your continuing commitment to the other band could rule you out for the new opportunity.

But it doesn't sound like that's your situation so I'd say play it out and enjoy finally getting some of the $$ for yourself. You might want to consider spending at least some of that sub money on your wife too as a peace offering.

[Loel]

I'd say play it out,have you recived any $$ for your
gear contributions?

[Pilgrim]

Sub, but put the money into the household account and your wife will be happier.

[Martin89]

^+1

[stingray56funk]

Originally Posted by Loel

I'd say play it out,have you recived any $$ for your
gear contributions?

+1 to this and +1 to the other comments about getting paid in cash and about having it all in writing. It never hurts and it only helps you if something were to go wrong on the business end.

[electracoyote]

Originally Posted by chrism2sych

Should I sub for myself or should I just go for the clean break and turn it down. I can argue both sides for my self, but any opinions might be helpful.

I have been in this situation a couple of times.

When I broke the news I'd be leaving (very amicable splits, I should add), I knew they would be frustrated with having to replace me. This is normal when you've become a working cog in the machine. So I put a little caveat on my exit speech by saying I was good for a certain number of performances on the books, or up to a certain length of time, but then I would no longer be available.

That was tough to do, but neccesary in my opinion. Failing to do so naturally leads the band to think they can lean on you indefinitely. And let's be honest: You quit because you CAN NOT be depended upon. To do otherwise (and sub indefinitely) would seem kind of inconsistent and even hypocritical, wouldn't it?

You need a "last date of availability," or some finality, or you aren't really quitting.

[BigOldHarry]

I would do it *only* if it worked with my schedule, not theirs. Once you're a "Sub", you're a contractor and owe them nothing more than to show up when you agree to and play your parts.

However, it sounds like they want to pretend you're still in the band. If there's a bad / strange vibe going on, then gaff it.

[anonymous02282011]

sounds like you want to do it ..

but your wife might not like that.

Talk to your lady about this.

Happy wife, happy life.