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  #1  
Old 06-04-2008, 12:36 PM
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The Manual (How To Have a Number One - The Easy Way)

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This was written by a house band called The KLF. It is a tongue-in-cheek step by step guide to achieving a No.1 single with no money or musical skills, and a case study of the duo's UK novelty pop No. 1 "Doctorin' the Tardis". I found it while messing about online yesterday and read most of it's highly entertaining if anything, the advice is slightly dated though.
Anyboby wanna try with me?
http://www.dillonstars.com/reedallbootit/the-manual.txt
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Manual
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  #2  
Old 06-06-2008, 10:55 AM
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I thought this would interest somebody............
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Old 06-08-2008, 06:20 PM
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This is brilliant!!
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  #4  
Old 06-10-2008, 05:46 AM
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Location: Portsmouth, UK
Great stuff. Very interesting read.
  #5  
Old 06-10-2008, 09:23 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: London, UK
Bill Drummond (one half of the KLF) is a very clever writer- I've got his book "43". he's got a great talent for embellishing something utterly mundane and pointless into what seems like a work of art.
a BS merchant, but a very good one.
  #6  
Old 06-10-2008, 10:40 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: London, UK
Quote:
Firstly, it has to have a dance groove that will run all the way through the record and that the current 7" buying generation will find irresistible. Secondly, it must be no longer than three minutes and thirty seconds (just under 3'20 is preferable). If they are any longer Radio One daytime DJs will start fading early or talking over the end, when the chorus is finally being hammered home - the most important part of any record. Thirdly, it must consist of an intro, a verse, a chorus, second verse, a second chorus, a breakdown section, back into a double length chorus and outro. Fourthly, lyrics. You will need some, but not many.
I don't think I've ever seen a better paragraph about song writing ever. concise and correct (even for todays 7" buying generation)
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  #7  
Old 06-10-2008, 11:12 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: London, UK
on bass lines;

"We take it there is no point in us
trying to describe what the bass line is in any great detail, but it's
the bit in the record that throbs and keeps the flow going. In days
gone by it was provided by the bass guitar player, now it is all
played by the programmed keyboards. Even if you want it to sound like
a real bass guitar, a sampled sound of a bass guitar will be used,
then programmed. It's easier than getting some thumb-slapping d*ck
head in."

"The great thing about bass lines is that they are in
public domain. Nobody, even if they do recognise it, will seriously
accuse you of ripping somebody else's bass line off."
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