Moral Dilemma--Help! - Page 3

Jazz Ad · #41 02-09-2013, 07:25 PM

If it was a rare 10 grand model, selling it could be an option.
It's worth money but not big money. Probably something you want to keep in the family. It's nice to have a guitar around.
Another option if you have kids would be to sell and put the money onto an account for them.
Selling to buy yourself a bass? No way.

**RaginRog** · #42 02-09-2013, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by braud357

Personally, I would consider it to be an heirloom, and continue to care for it. If you feel differently when your Dad passes - then you can sell it. Plus side - it will only appreciate in value. If you feel you can talk to him about it - share your thoughts with him. That may have been what he had in mind by giving it to you.

^^^
What he said.

**mjac28** · #43 02-09-2013, 07:33 PM

I would talk to your Dad and see what he thinks keeping an instrument of that vintage and value just for the sake of keeping it doesn't make sense to me? if you won't sell it now for sentimental reasons why would you sell it later? and if it gets damaged or stolen you will be kicking yourself in the head. I opt for "C" sell it buy your parents a nice vacation and there should be enough left over for you to get a nice bass if you pick "A" are you really going to be noodling around on a museum quality instrument? I would say no after that first ding in the head stock you will again be kicking yourself in the head.

qervo · #44 02-09-2013, 07:42 PM

Look , here's the deal, if I held on to a guitar for 50 years and knew that one day I would pass it on to my son and my son decided to sell it , it would break my heart. I'm sure your dad at sometime contemplated selling it but he Didn't . It's a beauty and will only appreciate in value , but for your dads sake keep it and perhaps even learn how to play it ( I'm sure he would love that) .When your dad passes on then you could possibly consider selling but personally speaking if it were me , I know I would regret it.

Jeff K · #45 02-09-2013, 09:43 PM

Keep it. Go to him and sincerely express your gratitude as genuinely as possible. You can tell him that you feel unworthy because you're basically a bass player, and will probably never be able to do justice to such a beautiful instrument. But I would never even HINT at the possibility of selling it. That was a very magnanimous gesture on his part. Just be grateful, and let him know that you're grateful. Maybe you could even ask him to teach you some things that would make you a better guitarist.

PWRL · #46 02-09-2013, 11:08 PM

Absolutely keep it and play it!

**Stumbo** · #47 02-09-2013, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funkingroovin

I agree with this entire post...and that's what's buggin' me.

I've been given the opportunity to own and play an irreplaceable piece of music history that most can only dream about,but my skill and desire to play guitar are an insult to said dreamers.

My dad(technically my step-dad for 33yrs) appreciates my love of music,but we've never been close or had a relationship by any standards..which makes his gift confusing.(In truth,I honestly wouldn't be surprised to get a bill for it someday) But I realize that he knowingly gave me something of value,although I know it holds no sentimental value to him.

The greedy little part of me wants to keep it just because of what it is..but I've always believed 'You can't take it with you,so enjoy it while you can'..For me,this would mean selling or trading it for drool-worthy bass gear,but I wouldn't want to be rude or seem ungrateful..I know I'm a bit stunted in the father/son dept,which is why I wanted other's insight..

If your dad wanted you to have some cash, he would have sold the guitar and given it to you.

Since he knows you're into music, IMO, it's his way of telling you that he's proud of you and for what you've accomplished.

Maybe since he's getting older he now has a few regrets and this is one step in reducing his guilt for not treating you right in the past.

OTOH, maybe you could just ask him what the deal is and go from there. Better than all this speculation, IMO.

Good luck.

oleskool · #48 02-09-2013, 11:41 PM

I didn't even read pass the first page of this post, i usually read to see others comments and try to make a informed comment. Nobody even if they make sense can change the first thought that came to my mind on this though. That thought was, you never really know how you feel about something until it's gone. As a older guy I have learned to appreciate hard lessons. Making you pay back lunch money was his way of teaching you to earn what need. I would bet money you prefer to earn things you get, as opposed to getting free, or god forbid, taking what belongs to someone else. Lesson learned.
See the lesson didn't hurt you, no pain was involved. The reason you even have this dilemma is because of you were raised right. A dilemma is defined as two opposing choices, but neither feels right. In this case I would say follow your morals, you know what is right. Of your choices, which feels right? End of dilemma.

Kirk Bryant · #49 02-10-2013, 02:03 AM

OK DUUUDE

IF you are young enough to think about selling it.... YOU,RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SELL IT !! PLEASE just chillaxe , sit on it for a few years and think about something that could be worth 20-50 + thousand dollars IF it is truely as pristine as presented. IT WILL be worth more in a few yrs. It should be insured for replacement value and put in a VERY safe place. Make no hasty moves young Jedi !
I have a friend that has 30-40 axes worth 20-100 K . Cover yer ass.

pflash4001 · #50 02-10-2013, 05:03 AM

I have a 1968 Rickenbacker 4001. That bass has been around the block a FEW times. Its not pristine, but its in GREAT shape for a 40+ year old instrument. i was offered an obscene amount of cash for it. My grandpa played that bass, then my dad gigged it for years. I started learning on that bass when I was 12. When I graduated from university my dad gave me a card and that bass. It's the greatest material gift I've ever received, especially considering its gone thru three generations. I also have a 1979 Ric 4001 and a 1981 4000. I also have 3 kids ages 10, 6, and 19 months. Whoever ends up interested in bass gets the '68. The other two will get the other basses. If I ever sold that bass I think I'd end up hanging myself, not only because of the financial value, but because of its history in my family. Dude, DON'T SELL IT!

Floyd Eye · #51 02-10-2013, 05:06 AM

I have several guitars/basses that I got from my father that I will likely never ( or at least rarely use). Some of them I will never sell. Some of them I will sell AFTER my parents pass on. NONE of them will I sell or trade while my folks are living.

**mjac28** · #52 02-10-2013, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff K

Keep it. Go to him and sincerely express your gratitude as genuinely as possible. You can tell him that you feel unworthy because you're basically a bass player, and will probably never be able to do justice to such a beautiful instrument. But I would never even HINT at the possibility of selling it. That was a very magnanimous gesture on his part. Just be grateful, and let him know that you're grateful. Maybe you could even ask him to teach you some things that would make you a better guitarist.

This sounds better than what I said previously go to your Dad tell him that you love him and that you want him to keep the guitar until you have become a better player if your Dad hasn't played it in almost fifty years why would you start noodling on it? buy something cheap and have your Dad teach you a few things it would be like learning how to drive in a mint 65 vette? and all it takes it that first scratch or head stock chip and both you and your Father are going to be disappointed. I also like the one suggestion of getting it insured and I would also get a good appraisal to see what it is actually worth? then you can see how the value of the bass has increased from when your Dad bought it to now. I would think about contacting a Museum or University that could use it for display until you are ready to pass it on or sell it also take a look at the case that it is being stored in and contact an expert about the best way to keep both guitar and case secure for the future good luck and you have an awesome Father.

DougBass · #53 02-10-2013, 05:55 AM

If your dad held on to it for so long, and thought enough of you to hold on to it for all those years...it means something to him.

If you have kids, or grand kids...how cool would it be if you could pass it to them? Too much history to just sell it for something else.

Good luck.

**mjac28** · #54 02-10-2013, 06:15 AM

I collect vintage guitars and I have a nice collection I've already told my children to sell them when I pass and buy something they want that would make me happiy and that way they don't have other family members interfering trying to make them feel guilty about holding on to it and "passing it on" to their children so they can sell it .

lowsideonacurve · #55 02-10-2013, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funkingroovin

My dad(technically my step-dad for 33yrs) appreciates my love of music,but we've never been close or had a relationship by any standards..which makes his gift confusing.(In truth,I honestly wouldn't be surprised to get a bill for it someday) But I realize that he knowingly gave me something of value,although I know it holds no sentimental value to him.

Looking back at this, I'd have to say this would be confusing.

Perhaps your "technically" step dad is seeing this in a different light. He might feel like the two of you are closer than you think.
33yrs. is a good chunk of someones life. Has he ever put a roof over your head, provided for you with clothes, food, driven you to and from school, or to the doctor? Men seldom express their emotions very well. If he's done any of that, it might mean a lot to him.

I don't want to sound like a jerk, just considering the other side of the coin, because that's an awfully valuable item to just drop in the lap of someone you're not close to.

On the other hand, if it is just an empty gesture, then maybe you should at least lock it away in a safe place and be prepared to hand it back to him if he slaps you with a bill.

Joe Kyle · #56 02-10-2013, 07:46 AM

You'd be crazy to sell that, though, from your comments, I think you've made up your mind and are trying to justify it.

I really think you should hold onto it.

It would take way more money than a vintage bass to ever replace this guitar, and one day, you'll look back and wish you had kept it.

funkingroovin · #57 02-10-2013, 03:59 PM

Thanks to all for your various insights and viewpoints. I think mjac28,Jeff K,and oleskool hit closest to home..I simply don't feel worthy of such a gift. I was taught that nothing is free,and I didn't earn it,didn't buy it,and having no aspirations to become a proficient guitarist,I don't deserve it..

For the record,I'm not ungrateful or seeking justification to sell it. And I don't think it's been kept around for heirloom purposes,as Dad offered to sell it to my guitarist twice last year for pretty cheap. I still have no intention of playing it because it's not going to be my dumb ass that inadvertently devalues it with an accidental bump or scratch. Not when chinamart sells starter guitars for less than a tank of gas..

As many of you said,it's not going to hurt me to case it and forget about it for a few more years. I also agree that,no matter how confusing and out of character,it was a meaningful gesture expressing feelings that he was raised not to express. Believe me,I get that,but it's too much. I'm leaning toward the approach suggested by mjac and Jeff,explaining to him my heartfelt gratitude and hopefully the age old adage "It's the thought that counts". It would make me much happier to end up with nothing more than a new understanding between my Dad and me,and my parents going and doing some of the "ahh,someday.." stuff while they still can.

funkingroovin · #58 02-10-2013, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellowinman

You sell that guitar and I will never buy you another drink, or help you move.

WOAH! Lets not be rash,I say we grab a case and drink about this for a minute..