not sure what to do....please advise....

[xshawnxearthx]

so i have a steady band. i love the music, i love the members(some of them, sometimes) and i love when we play shows. i'm 25 now and i feel like the band is taking a back seat to some members. me, i want to do this as full time as i can. work permitting ofcourse. id quit my job if it meant touring for a good portion of the year, and in the style of music my band(i) plays, i could maybe find it with another band.

now my singer does a lot of work for the band and i am very in debted to him for that. because he works really hard to get us gigs and hook us up with different radio things and what not. i as well do a lot of booking, and a lot of promo.
our one guitar player is new. he is a good guy, but i think he is one of those dude who may have been better just keeping him as a fan and not having him join the team. i think it may have been a bad decision by taking another punk guitar player, and trying to make him hc. our other guitar player is the main writer. he brings riffs, me and the drummer arrange them best and work them out. without him, we would probably never write material. he is a big asset to the band, but he always has other stuff. he owns a business, which takes up a lot of time, he does kung fu on the side, which takes up a lot of time, plus he has a side band with our other guitar player. our drummer. well, he seems to be the worst. awesome drummer, awesome musician, but has all this other stuff going on. we couldnt tour because of his school. now that he is done with school, he goes and gets a part time, half paid internship with the giants, and ofcourse, defintely cannot tour till after the season.

so basically, we cant do any heavy touring because of peoples jobs, really cant even do weekend warrior 4 gig weekends unless the giants have away games and if the side band is playing, we cannot. its just all retarded and im starting to realize maybe this gig isnt for me, but i dont know what to do.

i've put a lot of time and effort into this band. with booking, song writing, playing gigs, touring, losing girlfriends and what not. spent lots of money on equipment, strings, flyers, recordings, cd's, all sorts of ish.

so, i found out a band that i like is looking for a bass player. its a three peice(which ive always wanted to play in). the music is a little more mature, not as heavy as my main band, but its got a good mix of melody, heaviness, and speed. all the things i like in a band. they want to go to that next level that my main bands wants to get to, but they seem to have the drive that my current gig doesnt. i also may be able to join this band thats already established and signed to an indie label(ferret records) in which they will be touring and doing what i want to do.

the main problem is i dont want to leave the band ive worked very hard at maintaining, just to have them end up going to the next level without me. i've put in 5 years now(almost 6). my main band has done a lot, and has high hopes of doing more, but the drive seems to be lacking lately and i want to do more. i dont want to quit my job because im comfortable, but i would quit in a second to go do what i want to be doing. which is being a broke bitch, and getting to tour.

so there is my dilemna/rant. what should i do?

[43% burnt]

Have you had a band talk about the current state of affairs, and where everyone wants to see the band go? It's tough being in a band where people can't tour. I was just in one that broke-up because of similar situation...none of us can tour. We had some pretty cool opportunities that we had to turn down. The music was great, and getting better with each song...but it was kind of an uphill battle.

You might wanna try playing with the new band temporarily before joining, then make a decision.

Keep in mind you might piss people in your band off doing this too. That was the other thing that killed my last band. Our Drummer and lead joined another band, and thier priorities shifted to that project instead of ours. It pissed the rest of us off. That combined with the not being able to tour thing made it seem like a waste of time.

Bottom line, go with your gut. Ultimately your playing music for yourself. You want tour, and don't see it happening with your current band...maybe it's time for a change. See if you can take a hiatus from the current band to tour with the new one and see what happens. Your band members should understand...they might be pissed. But I'm sure they're wishing they could drop everything and go on tour tour. I know I do.

[xshawnxearthx]

well, the way **** is right now the other band doesnt have a tour booked yet, but have been planning on doing some and have members that can "just do it".

first im waiting to here back if this band is really parting ways with their bass player bedcause if they do, i will atleast fill in for them until they either find one, or until i figure out what i wanna do more.

[tommixx]

+1!!

VERY good advice from Burnt!! I could not have said it better......the only thing I would add is never wait for someone else to make your life for you and never structure your future on the basis of what someone else can or can not do. IF they can't do the things you want to do, you have to find someone who can and don't settle for anything less!! Life is too short my friend....Good Luck and GET STARTED NOW!!

Peace,

T

[JDT]

I'd talk to the guys in the band about what you want to do. And if things don't go the way you want to, you can always join another band. Sure, it'll be starting over, and you'll lose any investment, but it might get you doing the things you really want to.

I'm in a band, and my purpose with that band is to record a CD and to 'tour' our little country (tour being playing gigs all over the country). Belgium is not that big, we can get to any gig anywhere in under 4 hours driving (that's an estimate), but still its touring to me. I put a lot of time/money and effort in this band, but it's all with the intention of doing the aforementioned stuff. If the band I'm with now can't give me that, I'll move on.