Open letter from a chef about your riders

[basscooker]

To whom it may concern;

Thany you sooooo much for requiring a non-menu, special order meal. I spend so much of my day wondering how I can spend time I don't really have tracking down that not nationally distributed beer, high end seafood and imported cheese. I have no budget to concern myself with, and hours of free time in my day. I really enjoy when I find this meal lightly picked over, and it makes my week when it's completely untouched. It really touches me when I discover it used as ammunition for food fights, or even more so as pet food. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of providing you a thoughtful, well-rounded and hearty meal for you to use as an ashtray. And I also truly find fulfillment meeting your requests for deli trays. What elation I feel to clean up the tables of the work myself and staff put into them to discover residue and razors on the mirrored trays that I have to serve other patrons on. It's such a joy emptying refuse bins to find used hypodermics, bloody undergarments and vomit. Please come back and visit our wonderful venue often, we really look forward to it.

basscooker

[giorob815]

[ggunn]

I went to a John Cale concert back in the day. He was drinking some sort of spirits straight on stage and got very drunk. When they came out for the encore, Cale came out shirtless carrying the deli tray. He proceeded to pour the contents of the tray down his pants and then left the stage by climbing through the drum kit. Those were the days.

[Musiclogic]

Hmmmmmm.....Chef complains about musicians. Wow.....that is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Being a former chef(ACF) and professional musician for 14 years, I cannot imagine someone in the culinary industry being appalled at the mannerisms of anyone.

Chefs are the most self absorbed, self righteous, thin skinned control freaks on the planet, and take nobody's feelings or hard work into consideration...EVER.

Relax. Did you fill the order? Did you get your fee? Were you pleased with what you put out? If so, you will get more contracts, get paid for them, and most likely have to deal with more freak parades. Goes with cooking for musicians, the rich and famous, athletes, corporate titans etc. Etc. You want appreciation, buy a dog.

[kevteop]

Originally Posted by Musiclogic

Chefs are the most self absorbed, self righteous, thin skinned control freaks on the planet, and take nobody's feelings or hard work into consideration...EVER.

I worked in restaurant kitchens for a few years too, and every place I worked there was a bigger drug problem than in any band I ever played in.

[lowfreq33]

Sounds like you have a pretty good job. You could be working 3rd shift at a Waffle House somewhere.

[atheos]

What, somebody actually fulfills the requests in riders? Not here, I'm telling you. Sometimes you don't get any food. Sometimes you do but wouldn't dare to call it food. Sometimes you don't even dare to taste it. Sometimes you're sent to a kebab place nearby and told to bring back the receipts. Thus the only request about food I would make is that any food would be nice, huge bonus if it tasted good.

[bluestarbass]

It's my understanding the items on the rider come out of the musicians guarantee. Just charge accordingly for a custom meal? Money makes most pita situations better. I've always been happy with whatever food I got.

[basscooker]

Originally Posted by atheos

What, somebody actually fulfills the requests in riders? Not here, I'm telling you. Sometimes you don't get any food. Sometimes you do but wouldn't dare to call it food. Sometimes you don't even dare to taste it. Sometimes you're sent to a kebab place nearby and told to bring back the receipts. Thus the only request about food I would make is that any food would be nice, huge bonus if it tasted good.

seriously, sarcasm aside:

this is more where i'm coming from. you are paid for your realm of expertise. you're a professional with a contractual agreement, and you hold you're end of the bargain, cool. i as well am a professional and hold up my end, as well. i do not know what other parties do with your riders, but you are making a deal with me for something to eat. you're either touring or at least out for a few days, and this is dinner, period.

you will be fed, and it will be excellent.

sorry you trashed or ignored what could have been your best food for a month.

[SherwoodGreen]

My Sister used to work in a 4-Star Hotel in Chicago.

A famous rapper who stayed there when in town (He shall remain Snoop Dogg---I mean Nameless!!) would par-tay w/ his posse before/after showtime.

Sis told me that the Room Cleaning Staff would draw lots, and the losers had to clean up the suites they occupied-

I shall NOT mention what was left amongst the food and decor of the rooms! (Hint: rhymes with "used condoms" )

I guess Fame empowers some performers to ridiculous extents!

[lowfreq33]

Basscooker, where do you work?

[two fingers]

Hey! That razor blade was for............ shavin........... and junk. Seriously.

[Musiclogic]

Originally Posted by basscooker

seriously, sarcasm aside:

this is more where i'm coming from. you are paid for your realm of expertise. you're a professional with a contractual agreement, and you hold you're end of the bargain, cool. i as well am a professional and hold up my end, as well. i do not know what other parties do with your riders, but you are making a deal with me for something to eat. you're either touring or at least out for a few days, and this is dinner, period.

you will be fed, and it will be excellent.

sorry you trashed or ignored what could have been your best food for a month.

I was just giving you grief man. I have seen both sides of this, and I totally get your disdain.

It makes no sense that they demand this food, and then trash it and leave.

When I was at the Double Eagle at Citibank Tower in Phoenix, we hosted the annual ACF conference, and the outcome was just the same.

Thus the associative sarcasm.

Hopefully there will be 1 musician gets it and speaks up when his band is allowing their rectum to overload their cranium

[mjac28]

Originally Posted by SherwoodGreen

(Hint: rhymes with "used condoms" )

Hey what rhymes with used condom? I give.

[funkyebk]

Click the Pic.

[Vince Klortho]

Originally Posted by bluestarbass

It's my understanding the items on the rider come out of the musicians guarantee.

It depends on the wording of the contract. For "bigger" acts it does not.

[SherwoodGreen]

Originally Posted by mjac28

Hey what rhymes with used condom? I give.

"Your mama?"

[Steve]

My wife books national acts and sees those riders all the time.

(you have to see some of that crap with your own eyes to believe it)

She usually solves that problem with a red pen and flick of her wrist then sends the contract back to managment.

On the other hand...that doesn't generate much work for chefs.