Over-complicated product names?

Electricblue · #1 06-17-2011, 03:58 AM

Ok, this is the place to post product/feature names that you have seen, which have an utterly stupid/complicated name for a simple feature.

For example: A volume control on a pedal labelled as "Dynamic level attentuator"

I think you get the idea. Begin!

T-Bird · #2 06-17-2011, 04:38 AM

Hi.

Super Valve Technology

Regards
Sam

IncX · #3 06-17-2011, 05:04 AM

there are too many, but ATM i can only think of my recent purchase, an MXR Octave Deluxe with labels like "girth" and "growl" ... until now, i am not sure what they do since the description in the manual and the name just makes me go "huh?"

i supposed it refers to high mids and low mids in the octaver function

Phalex · #4 06-17-2011, 06:21 AM

I keep getting spam E-mail for Magic Jack. It's not a lotion at all, it's some sort of interweb telecommunication thingy

?

ga_edwards · #5 06-17-2011, 07:34 AM

My mum used to say her job description was 'domestic engineer'. Otherwise known as a housewife.

JTE · #6 06-17-2011, 08:39 AM

Cellulose handled neoprene fluid force impeller. An item on an Air Force purchase order to hide that they were paying $25 for toilet plungers.

All those stupid stomp-box labels like DOD and Danelectro used. Don't call it a "Milk Box's just call it a compressor. Special achievement award to the Peavey Dweezil Zappa wnp, the Wiggy. NONE of the controls were labeled usefully!

John

uethanian · #7 06-17-2011, 05:13 PM

WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MEN! WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MEN!!!!

mambo4 · #8 06-17-2011, 05:27 PM

I'm with JTE on the abuse of names that obfuscate function.

There were a lot of "grunge" pedals in the 90's with knobs like "MEAT" and "GUTS"
SWR's "aural enhancer" knob also comes to mind. Even the manual didn't say exactly what it did.

"presence" is another pet peeve...
"bass/mid/trebel" is a little better, but personally I'd rather see EQ knobs list actual frequencies.

Sadly many boutique pedals have useless knob names -even when the pedals are awesome *cough* ZVEX

---
not a product, but related stupidity: when I was unemployed I got totally frustrated trying to look up "unemployment office."
eventually I found it under "employment security" which is kinda the opposite, dontchathink?

SteveC · #9 06-17-2011, 06:53 PM

Phy Ed was called "human performance" for a while. I think it's called fitness for life or something like that now.

I wanted to call my orchestra class the study of acoustical science.